Bathing in Blood
by Tropicwhale
Summary: SLASH Spike and Xander go to L.A to help Angel, who has lost five minutes and the Grimmoire. Xander ends up learning more about Spike's past and what it means to be a vampire than he ever wanted to know along with a new Big Bad. Third in Grimmoire series.
1. Chapter 1

**_Bathing in Blood_**

By: Tropicwhale

Disclaimer: I own the characters I made up, the Grimmoire, and the plot. Everything else belongs to either Joss Whedon or Los Angeles.

Warning: Nothing...yet....maybe langauge, Slash.

Dedicated to: My Peanuts, for their support and unconditional constructive criticism throughout this entire series. I love you kids. Now tell what you think about this one.

Author Notes: I'm avoiding writing several papers, including a term paper by posting this. In truth I've had it, as well as the next five chapters, written for awhile now. I know I said that I'd be posting this in the Angel subsection of the site but a Peanut who will remain nameless (mostly because I forgot who actually gave me the suggestion) gave me the suggestion that I put it here because its really here nor there as far as the actual shows go....murr, but!...yeah, I got nothing. No, wait. I got something.

Now please enjoy the next in the Grimmoire Spander series, "Bathing in Blood"....

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**Chapter One**

"So why are we helping Deadboy?" my boyfriend turned against his seatbelt to face me as Los Angeles flashes past us. I shrug. "Stop that. You've been doing that shrugging thing since we left Baltimore. Spike, I want to know what I'm heading into." I sigh through my nose. "And don't sigh at me either. I know that trick." God, he's worse than a woman. And how do you shut a woman up when she's nagging you?

"I love you."

"Spike." he says.

"I know you don't like Angel." I say.

"Neither do you."

"I know. You don't like vampires."

"Yeah, a big duh there buddy."

"This is vampire lore."

"What?" I glance over and back at the highway.

"You can't ignore what I am forever, Xander. It's just happening a bit sooner than I thought it would."

"Again I say what?" I glance over again. "I know you're a vampire, Spike. I love you despite that…and the whole male thing." I sigh again. "Stop that."

"You ignore it. The vampire thing. As much as you can. Well, you're not going to have that luxury anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is a matter of Family."

"I don't understand." I look over at him for a split moment. That's all it takes for me to regret everything.

"I wish you did, Xander. I really wish you did." I stare at the road, feeling sad and frustrated. Being a vampire and the hierarchical blood ties that go with it isn't something you can explain to a human. It defies their reasoning. How do you sit there and make them understand that you love a person who you hate and feel compelled to go to their side when they called merely because their blood flowed through your veins? Whatever issues we have between us, Angel and I, we were still Family. Bound by blood to spend eternity together, creating a Childe isn't something a Master does lightly and I was his Childe. I owe him something that I could never explain to Xander. How could I explain to Xander that I saw Angel as Father and Brother, Lover and Enemy all in one package without him cringing away from what his society deemed to be abomination? The answer was that I couldn't. "All I can say is that it's blood calling to blood. Angel is my Family and Family needs help so I'm going to help. It also has something to do with the fact he's head of the Aurelius line now that the Master and Darla are dead."

"What does that mean?" How to explain it? How to sink this complex and being deep hierarchal concept into my lover's small brain? There was only one way, really.

"It's like the mafia. You and Buffy killed the old Godfather and now Angel is Marlon Brando."

"Oh. But do you have to listen to it? Him calling for help?"

"Normally? No."

"Then why now?"

"For three reasons. The first is that Angel doesn't call blood to him. Most of our Family are evil bastards and Angel's a goody-goody that wouldn't use the minions that is his right. He's invoked that power over me…because I am directly linked to him through Drusilla I have to go. The second reason is that he lost five minutes and it felt like Family. He was rolled like Dracula rolled you back in Sunnydale. He is the Master of the Aurelius line and that shouldn't happen, ever. Period. Third, the Grimmoiré was stolen. That, in and of itself, would have gotten me here. That book in the wrong hands is a bad thing." Not to mention I'm one of the good guys now...blegh.

"So I'm coming why?" I turn off onto our exit.

"You love me and we're this thing now where we are a team and it's as much your deal as its mine. Besides, we get to spring on Angel that we're lovers which should drive him up the wall." I grin over to see a matching grin on Xander's face. "We could even have sex on his bed so when he's getting ready to settle in for the day he walks in on us and can't sleep for a month. Think of all the bad hair jokes that would come of it." Such a good idea. Great, really. "Also? Think of how much he'll cringe when we get all lovey-dovey around him!" I'm getting hyper-happy just thinking about it.

"You're so evil."

"Are you saying that it's a bad idea?"

"No. But we should wait until he goes off to fight a really slimy demon and do it in his shower. Then there would be the opportunity for stink jokes." I knew there was a reason I love him. He's a true evil genius when he puts his mind to it. I stop at a red light and lean over to kiss him on the lips.

"You're brilliant." I tell him with a grin. He laughs.

"Never been called that before."

"Normally, it's not true. Good Lord, you'd make such a great evil vampire. Like Angelus level evilness."

"HEY!!!" I laugh and turn back to driving. "There's not a single phrase in what you just said that wasn't completely insulting."

"You're beautiful when you're pissed off."

"I'm not a girl. That line won't work on me, mister."

"You're lying."

"Are not."

"Are too. I can smell it." I smirk at him and wiggle in my seat. So much fun to goat him.

"Did anyone ever tell you vampire guys that sniffing people is creepy? Hey, don't we have a rule about not sniffing me?"

"Nope."

"Well, we should. It's stalker-level creepy-oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to." I give him two finger salute.

"Oh you know you like when I do the stalker bit in bed, it gets you all stirred up for me. But in all seriousness do you want to tell Angel about us?"

"Do you?"

"I honestly could care less what the Neanderthal thought but I thought that you might not want to-"

"Spike, I'm not that shallow nor do I care what Dead-boy thinks but you seem to."

"I just-I want to get in, find the book, stop whoever the Big Bad is this time, and get out. Minimal time spent in this hellhole of a city is better."

"Spike." His voice held a warning and pity. Fuck him. Just not literally… for the moment, later it would be a different story.

"No. Didn't I just say that I didn't care what Angel thinks of our relationship? I just want to do the job and get back to Paris."

"Then why are you getting pissy?"

"I'm not."

"You are. Spike, talk to me. Tell me what's going on with you. You've been running hot and cold since our plane landed in California."

"Nothing."

"Spike, please." Dammit. He's not going to let this go. I pull into an empty parking lot and put the rent-a-car into park. I face my boyfriend. For his part, Xander meets my gaze head on.

"I'm worried about how you're going to take some of the stuff that I'm pretty sure is going to go down. This has to do with vampire culture, Xan, I'm sure of it. I think you may be the first human to ever experience it without having to commit to being turned and you-well, you're you, are you?"

"Wait, does this mean you have to turn me now?" He jokes, grinning. I glare and his smile slowly fades into a frown. "Spike?"

"I don't know what's going on. Just it has to do with Family and a Baddie big enough to make Angel lose five whole minutes of his life and steal a very old and powerful book right from his hand. That scares me and if it doesn't scare you it should. We're flying blind, all of us, here. I don't like that." He cups my chin and strokes my jaw. "Don't patronize me." He kisses me gently on the lips. "Stop that." He nibbles under my jaw line. I roll my eyes to the ceiling of the car. "You're distracting me." He bites down and sucks on my Adam's apple. "Angel's waiting for us." There was a hand fondling my crotch. Oh bugger it. I undo his seatbelt (I never wear one) and pull him over the emergency brake into my lap. I grab two handfuls of him, one of his shirt front and one of his ass, and jerk him into me so that our lips smash together. He moans and laughs as I'm pressed into the car door. He straddles me and loams over me and hands run down my chest and sides. "Xander" I mumble against his lips. There is a rapping at the window behind me. Xander's head snaps up to look out into the night and I crane my head back, my mouth open, to see a cop shining a light into the car. I look back up at Xander to see him blushing. Shit. Now it'll be months before I can convince him to have sex in a car again. I should have done his ass when I had the chance. Xander is back in his seat and I straighten up and roll down the window. "Can we help you, officer?" I say in what Xander calls my and I quote 'I-am-a-polite-Englishman-who-doesn't-understand-your-strange-American-ways' voice, end quote.

"Is everything alright here? Are you...gentlemen lost?" The officer asks with a cocked eyebrow like he didn't just catch us making out. Bastard. Everything was alright until you showed up and we aren't lost. Go away, I want to have sex in a semi-public place with my boyfriend. Don't _make_ me whip it out.

"Yes, everything is quite alright, officer."

"Then I suggest you move along." The officer flicks a look at Xander who stares straight ahead, bright red. I growl low in my throat. The cop looks down at me and I put on a blank face and smile tightly.

"Well, I guess we'll just be going then." I purposely put my seatbelt on and watch as Xander does the same and start the car. I nod to the policeman and drive out of the parking lot. "Well, that was off-putting." I grouse as I hit the power to the window, closing it. I can tell he's not looking at me, still red as a beet. "You're pretty as Buffy when you blush." Three. Two. One.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A GIRL?!" Embarrassment gone. Mission accomplished.

"Well, when you screech like that it's hard to tell any different, yeah? And besides I compared you to a woman with superpowers that is really beautiful and we both were attracted to at one time but yeah, I called you a girl."

"Well, at least I don't need to go to a salon once a month to get my roots done."

"Girls flock to me. When was the last time a girl hit on you? Renee?"

"Oh shut up, Spike. For your information there was mutual hit-age with Renee."

"Uh. Huh. Willow and Buffy probably told you to ask her out because you were being oblivious to her sexual advances." There was a sharp head turn toward me, his mouth opening and closing like a landed fish.

"How did you kn-no, no. That's not what happened at all."

"Xander, I love you but I know you better than that. You don't do well with women."

"So speakth the devil of bad relationships with women."

"_Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are they?" A dark haired woman in Victorian clothes says in slight horror. I blinked at her. I'd never hoped to have this conversation with her, beautiful Cecily Underwood. My heart was pounding._

"_They're about how I feel."_

"_Yes, but are they about me?" Cecily persisted._

"_Every syllable." I whispered reverently._

"_Oh, God!" I could tell that my poetry made her sick. I understand. Only Mother could really stomach it. I knew that I wasn't a good poet but there wasn't any other way. If I didn't have an outlet then I'd explode. No one person could hold all this emotion inside of them and stay sane. It's enough to drive a person mad._

"_Oh, I know... it's sudden and... please, if they're no good, they're only words but... the feeling behind them... I love you, Cecily."_

"_Please stop!" I could stop. I couldn't stop. I had come too far to not continue. I didn't want-all I wanted was Cecily's love. It's really not a lot to ask for. All I wanted was some small sign of affection, a sign that someone besides Mother actually sees me._

"_I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man and all I ask is that... that you try to see me-" I was so desperate for her to give me anything, anything to stop this burning inside my soul, the pounding of my heart, the spinning in my head. I was drunk, intoxicated, off of her very existence. If she could give any scrap of sympathy to me then I could die fulfilled with this terrible thirst, this hunger, within my blood slacked._

"_I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me." She stands and walks off, leaving me devastated and alone. Alone until the next one found me, then I found the next and the one I was thinking about when I was with her....._

"_You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day." I stared intently into her eyes, then step back. "Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did." Well, she did ask. Fear rolled off her, thick and spicy, then anger bitter and sharp._

"_Get out of my sight. Now." She says. Slayer to the end. So beautiful. How much would I want to twist myself inside her with all that heat, passion fueling her. Heat my cold skin right up._

"_Oh... did I scare ya? You're the Slayer. Do something about it. Hit me. Come on. One good swing. You know you want to."_

"_I mean it." More conviction. I can't hit back but the bruising would be so magnificent I'd have it for days. Nothing better than wearing the mark of the one you love for all to see. I just need to push her a little further. Just a little further and she'd give me a black eye, at least. I knew she wanted it. She'd see that I care for her…to wear her mark like that._

"_So do I. Give it to me good, Buffy. Do it!" The tension is burning between us. So beautiful. So hot. _

"_Spike..." My passion aroused, I lean in to kiss her. She backs away in horror. No matter. I'd get her in the end._

"_What the hell are you doing?" More fear then anger now. I grabbed her by the arms, words a breathless pant._

"_Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance." Dance of Death, of the Game. Like a moth to the flame I to her. Drowning in the green fire of her eyes…oh that's good. I should write that down. If I remember it later._

"_Say it's true. Say I do want to." Yes! She shoves me to the ground and looks down at me with disgust, contempt. I need that fire, such a burning in my veins, a roaring that wouldn't stop like the ocean in a storm. "It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you." She tosses the wad of cash at me contemptuously. "You're beneath me." Buffy turns and walks off, leaving me alone in the dark alley. I gathered up the money, this side of- how quickly did my need for her heat get me burned. Did she know? I thought I left that out of the story. I know I left it out of the story. How did she know that-I always did fall for the ones that never saw me, or wanted to see me, never wanted _me_. No one ever wants me. Silly William. Stupid, silly William even as a vampire you never get what you want, never get-fuck her, fuck all of them. May they all rot in hell with me._

_I walked into the hotel room to see Angelus humping some bit in white. My grandsire, my teacher. God, he was sunlight where Drusilla was air to me. Maybe he'd let me have a go at his victim after he was done. I grin. __"Well... looks like you haven't had your fill of __her after all-__" __Angelus leans back, revealing that's he's been with Drusilla, my dark princess, Drusilla.__ She __rolls her head over to look at me. _

"_The little children didn't come out to play." She sits up, leaning closer to Angelus's chest. "Did you miss me, pretty William?" __Angelus just smirks._

"_I'm sure he did, Dru. After all... you are his destiny."__ She smiled._

"_Oh. That's so sweet." My world dropped out from under my feet.__They laugh at me. Everyone is always laughing at me. When I was human, when I'm vampire, a ghost. I hate him. He knew and he still-__I charge. He beats the crap out of me and then…__ Angelus throws me into the wall, squeezing my neck, asserting his dominance as my grandsire and teacher. I still fight._

"_Don't touch her!"_

"_Little late for that, Willy. And I really don't like it when you raise your voice to me." I shut up. I know that tone. My ass still hurt from the last time, nearly a week ago._

"_William, don't play such a sad tune." Dru said, reclining. "Give us a kiss, then."_

"_Why did you...? You knew. You knew she was mine."_

"_Did I?"_

"_You bloody well knew!" I wrench free and punch the lying bastard. He wasn't suppose to-I charge him again. "Unh-aaaugh!"__He deflected me easily and pushed me to the ground._

"_Just don't get it now, do you?" He picked me up like a rag doll throwing me onto the couch. He pushes corpses off the couch and sits beside me. I cringe away from him. "Well, you're new... and a little dim. So let me explain to you how things are now. There's no belonging or deserving anymore. You can take what you want, have what you want... but nothing is yours." Drusilla walks out into the doorway. "Not even her."_

"_You're wrong. We're forever, Drusilla and me." Dru clasped her hands over her heart dramatically._

"_Are we?"_

"_Ah, still the poet now, aren't we, Willy?"_

"_William." My name. Names are important. So Mother says...or said, whichever._

"_Right. William. You know, you really should find a new name for yourself. It just doesn't strike the right note of terror." He patted my knee, stands and goes to stand behind Drusilla. "Tell you what... William. If you want her-" He slipped his hands around Drusilla's body, at the waist, "come and take her." __Drusilla holds her hands out, beckoning me. Then there was that whole thing with Mother-_

"Spike? Spike? Are you in there, Spike? Eureka Maru to Spike, come in, Spike" I pull myself out of my memories.

"Wot? You say something?"

"I asked where you were just now."

"I'm sorry, I was having a flashback."

"I see. These flashbacks happen often?"

"Increasingly... today." Figure that quote out.

"DID YOU JUST JOHNNY DEPP ME?"

"Don't screech. Sensitive vampire hearing here."

"Oh don't bite me, Spike."....he's learned the hard way what happens when I hear the phrase 'bite me'. I glance over. He's doing the same. We grin at each other and turn back to watch the road. "I have a question….do you even know where you're going?"

"He's my grandsire. It's only a matter of following the feel of Family."

"Uh?" I make a face at that. A sort of 'why am I with you dimwitted dork' sort of look.

"I can feel him here." I tap my temple. "And here." I point to the vein in my throat. "Blood calls to blood."

"Like Dracula?" I throw him a dirty look.

"You bitch." I swerve toward the side of the road.

"AHHH!! Spike, don't do that." I grin when he clutches the seat and I press my foot harder on the gas, speeding down the streets of Los Angeles toward Angel. I'm back. And this time I'm gay! Also, I'm dating a guy…well Xander, he sort of counts as a male. Wonder what Angel will think. I can see his face now. The horror, the revulsion, the reluctant horniness. It's going to be _fun_.

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**Author After Notes:** It begins. Review if you'd like.

Tropic


	2. Chapter 2

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_by_:** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer_**: The characters are borrowed and no money is made.

**_Warning_:** Slashy goodness.

**_Author Notes_**: I got a writer's blood with my paper so true to my word and promise...I upload a chapter.

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**Chapter Two**

So Spike's stop trying to kill us in an explosion of metal-y, car crashing death and is back to being…scarily like Angel and I want him to stop. He's going all 'I'm a dark mysterious vampire, grrr' on me and he knows I hate that. I even tried to distract him with the sex in a car in a semi-public place ploy and it would have worked too....if that pesky cop hadn't been nosing around. What is the big deal anyway? It's a vampire that has the book; we hunt it down, dust the vamp and get the book back. Okay, so maybe I'm over-simplifying things but still there's no need for Spike to be all serious and quiet. He's only quiet when he's deeply freaked/worried by something and I really wish I knew what it was so I could help. I hate to say it but I think I'll have to ask Angel what it is. I hate talking to him but if it means that I can help Spike then, hey, I'll talk to Deadboy. Just point me in the right direction and give me a Angel-to-English dictionary. But before that I think that I'll have to try and get Spike to open up one more time because I really don't like talking to Deady vonDeadton. "Spike, try walking me through it. Maybe if you talk real slow and use small words I'll understand what's going on. Hey, I'm already half blind, do you really want me with more of a handicap?"

"Wot?" He glances over at me. Back from wherever it was he kept going since we got to L.A.

"Spike, focus. Problem at hand. What does it mean, exactly, that Angel lost five minutes?" He pauses, thinking, and then inhales deeply. Uh-oh. Spike really only breathes when something is difficult for him to say.

"That he can't remember them. They are completely gone from his mind. Like he blacked out but not quite."

"So he can't remember. Big deal. Someone stole the book then made him forget with a spell or something, right?"

"There's more to it."

"Okay." I say slowly. I don't get it.

"When he tries to remember there is this feeling….I don't know how to describe. Like if you thought of Willow but couldn't remember her face, just her warmth and love. It's that sort of feeling but with an edge of violence and hunger-" He broke off, scrunching his face up in disgust. "I'm not describing it right. It's really hard to describe. It's Family. Like me and Angel, the relation of blood."

"So you're freaked that someone of your line made him forget five minutes and stole the book?"

"Yeah. Thing is-he's head of the line, of the Family. Because you Scoobies killed the Master and Darla he's the oldest vamp of the main line and that makes him the Master." Okay. EEWWWW. Angel's the Master. The Master is Angel. Buffy doing the Master. The Master doing Buffy, ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...ew...ew..ew...ew...ew...ew...ew. But Spike wasn't done explaining. "So technically no one that feels like Family could roll him like that, at all, end of story. Besides, the only one that I know of that could use thrall is Drusilla and she'd never try to thrall Angel. She knows better and besides, it's physically impossible for her to do it."

"Wait. Drusilla. Your Drusilla?"

"She was never mine. I was hers and she was Angelus' and Angelus was Darla's and Darla was the Master's. But none of us ever _belonged_. Such is the nature of being a vampire. There's no belonging or deserving anymore. You can take what you want, have what you want... but nothing is yours. Nothing…nothing is mine…not even you." He looks at me so matter-of-factly it makes me shutter. He looks back to the road. "I'm not even my own. My body is the demon's but it's not because it belonged to the soul but because of the demon the soul doesn't own the body." He looks back over at me. "I'm caught between life and death. Nothing and eternal because of it. It's all very existential." He looks back at the road. "We're here." I look to a low-rent apartment building. Spike pulls into a parking garage and finds a decent space. "The sun's almost up so we'll go deal with it all tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay."

"Freaking bloody family reunion." he mumbles. "I oughta punch the git out for getting himself in these messes. You'd think he'd learn but noooo. I have be the one to pull his half-ass, overly producted self out of the fryer when all I want to do is go back to Paris and dote on Patricia and the new baby but nooo Angel has to..." I tune him out. Spike gets pissed off at Angel easily over anything at all.

_A man lies dead on the grass. Angel and I see him. "You know a lot about this Spike guy, so, um... you got a plan?" He grabs me by the throat. And people wonder why I hate this guy. "Good plan." Angel drags me into the building to see Spike __poking the poles into the ceiling. I have fear for Buffy for a moment before fear for myself reasserts myself real quick. Spike sees us._

"_Angelus!" Angel wraps his arm around my neck harder. Ow._

"_Spike!"_

"_I'll be damned!" He tosses his pole aside and they greet each other with a hug and a laugh. Angel still has his arm around my neck. Ow. Spike smells like smoke and leather. The fact he knows Angel is another point against him along with the whole vampire thing. Plus, you know, the trying to kill one of my best friends. It puts a damper on an friendly feelings I might have at all toward him._

"_I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there."_

"_I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?"_

"_Everything." I'm so sure._

"_Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?"_

"_She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed!" He laughs. He was using Buffy! BASTARD!! I'd kill him except the whole arm around my windpipe thing…very inconvenient. Dammit. Spike laughs too._

"_People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!"_

"_I knew you were lying." I say to Angel, struggling. He gives me a squeeze to shut me up. Grrr. Never underestimate my ability to ignore certain death to get a one liner off. "Undead liar guy." See? okay, I'll admit its not my best but lack of oxygen hurts my superhero ablity to be comic-funny-guy. So sue me! Angel grabs me by the hair and shirt and holds up my exposed neck. eh? Hey!! Game Faces all around!! Eeep._

"_Wanna bite before we kill her?" I'm not a bite! I'm…well… I'm not a bite! I'm quite a bit more than a bite. I-I'm a critical part of the Slayer's team._

"_Maybe in a bit. I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age." Angel shrugs._

"_I'm not much for company."_

"_No, you never were. So, why're you so scared of this Slayer?" Spike looks at him keenly, with a look that I now know that means that he knows you're bullshitting him. Angel looks confused._

"_Scared?"_

"_Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat. Now look at you. I bet this, uh, tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?" Nailed it in one, Bleached Menace._

"_I saw her kill the Master. Hey, you think you can take her alone? Be my guest. I'll just feed and run." He growls and bends to bite my neck. May i just say 'AHHH'? Spike holds up his hand._

"_Don't be silly! We're all friends. We'll do it together. Let's drink to it." Eep. Nononononono. They both slowly lean in to my neck. At the last moment Spike punches Angel in the face, making him stagger back and release me._

"_You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!" He was greatly angered. Duh! Understatement of the year._

"_Things change." Angel said. Spike growled._

"_Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!" The blond vampire grabs his pole from the floor. "Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport!" The vampires roar and attack. I barged out the door behind him and run, only to pull up short to wait for Angel. He follows as the other vampires give chase. On second thought Angel can take care of himself. I hear Spike say as we run away. "Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl."_

"_Do we really need weapons for this?" I hear Buffy's voice snark back._

"_I just like them. They make me feel all manly." Is the last thing I hear before my feet carry myself out of hearing range. _I know when Spike's being truly cocky like when I first meet him and when he's just putting on airs to defend himself. At least I think that I do. Like that time when Giles foisted him on me and I tied him up in my basement…that came out a lot more kinky than it actually was. _Spike was tied to fugly chair and I was dressed for bed in a T-shirt and boxers. As we snarked I get into bed and turn out the lights. __"I don't see why I have to be tied up" he whines._

_"It's just while I'm sleeping." I say because, really? So not with the trust of the evil undead while I'm asleep, I don't know how far that chip of his will work. What if I'm not awake to feel the pain so the chip won't go off while he's snacking on the Xan-man? That would suck, pun not intented, and, also? I'd be dead. So not with the happy Snoopy dance with that thought. Besides, Spike had been whinging ever since we left Giles' house. I would be nice to annoy him in any way possible. He was worse than Anya…and she was on the other side of me most of the way home! I think they were having a contest. Who Can Annoy Xander More! 1999_

_"Like I'd bite you anyway." he snorts and looks away._

_"Oh you would" I crawl onto my bed, and look back at him over my shoulder. I turn off the lights._

_"Not bloody likely." Hey! What's that suppose to mean?_

_"I happen to be very biteable, pal." I crawl under my blanket still starking. "I'm moist and delicious."_

_"Alright, yeah fine you're a _nummy_ treat." I point at him with my eyes closed. I can ignore him._

"_And don't you forget it." I could hear the evil thoughts in his head even without looking. _

_"Xander, don't you care about me?" He adopts a high pitched almost falsetto voice - like Anya. I can ignore him. I can!_

_"Shut up."_

_"We never talk." I hold up a warning finger. I'll drag him out to the lawn and wait for dawn. I promise._

_"Shut up!"_

_"Xaaannnder."_

_"Shut up!" he cackles and all falls quiet…_

Come to think about it that might have been because he just wanted to annoy me or the Gentlemen. I never could tell the difference. We get out of the car and grab our respective duffels from the back seat. "Soooo, you ever think that you'd be telling Angel that you were banging a Scooby that wasn't Buffy?" He cocks an eyebrow at me.

"We do more than bang, pet. Not like you're my dirty little secret, yeah? And anyways, I knew I had to tell him eventually."

"Really?" That's news to me.

"Yeah." He grabs me around my waist leaning into me.

"Ever going to tell Buffy?" He smiles like I'm an idiot and annoying him.

"Not if I can help it."

"Why?" He looks away but still holds on to me. "Spike?"

"I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Bull." I wrap an arm around his shoulders. "What's amatter, baby?" He lays his head on my shoulder as we walk into the building. He had been up for awhile and whatever the situation was, it was wearing on him.

"I just don't want her to know I'm back. Just-I'm asking you as my lover and friend, be understanding of that."

"I can't hide you forever, Spike. She's my best friend." He pushes the down button of the elevator and the door opens with a ding. We get on and Spike hits the button with B on it for Basement. The door closes with a clang.

"I know. But I'm not ready to see her. Not yet anyways. I honestly don't know if I ever will be."

"We're going to get over this phobia of yours, Spike, one way or another."

"S'not a phobia, you twit. I just-I want her to remember me as the white knight in the end the guy that gave his life to end her fight willingly…if she knows I'm back I'm just another... Angel." I spin him to look at me and grab his neck to make sure he's looking at me.

"Spike, listen to me. You'll never be another Angel. I wouldn't let you." He laughs a little which just sounds exhausted. "Tired?"

"Yeah. So much for vampire stamina." I pull him back to lean on my shoulder.

"Well, you've been back on pig's blood since you healed up in Baltimore. You said that stuff makes you like almost human weak."

"Yeah."

"And this whole thing with Angel-" I hug him closer and steal the keys I know are in his trench's pocket to the apartment we're supposedly staying at as the elevator door opens. "You're tired. It's alright to be." We walk down the hall to the door he suddenly stops at.

"Here" I unlock the door somehow without dropping my duffel, the keys or dislodging Spike. I am Supersticky Xander, unable to drop anything handed to him. I open the door, trip and everything goes flying, except Spike who had collapsed on top of me when I fell. "Ow." He says somewhere around my chest. "That was graceful, Harris." he starts to untangle himself from the mess that is me and our duffel bags and fails. I make a sound as the air is knocked out of me.

"You fell with him, Spike." We look up and there is Angel loaming over us half in shadows. Spike looks up from where he's sprawled over top of me.

"Hello, hero. Help us up then." Angel helps us up and grabs the duffels, carrying them deeper into the apartment. Spike flips on the lights behind me for my benefit and shuts the door. I wander deeper into the apartment. It's nice…in a Deadboy-lives-here way. I can feel Spike at my back. Angel leaves one duffle at the couch, mine, and takes the other into another room that I'm guessing is a guest room or maybe it's just Spike's room. Spike bumps my shoulder as he walks past. He walks over to the couch and grabs my bag and follows Angel into the room and raises his eyebrows at me like he's saying 'are you coming?' Now? He wants to tell Angel now?! Like that? Just a matter of fact like it doesn't really matter and gives us no opportunity to mock the taller, darker, not-nearly-as-handsome-as-Spike vampire? What the hell? I race to the door and look in as Spike drops my olive green army surplus bag next to his black, I-got-this-special-made duffle and take in Angel's bewildered look.

"You're giving him the bed?" He asks like I'm not in the room. Bastard.

"No. We're sharing the bed." Spike says slowly like talking to an idiot child.

"No way." Angel puts his foot down. "You'd kill the room in less than an hour." Angel scoffs. Spike rolls his eyes.

"Angel. We're sharing the bed." I watch as Angel's face gets confused and then vaguely amused.

"What? Are you lov-" He stops himself and looks between me and Spike with a dumbfounded look on his face. He points at me then Spike. "You're-with him? How? When-? But you-huh?" It was the most I've ever seen his face that mobile. It was really amusing. I snort. Spike grins "You Mated Xander Harris?" Angel's voice takes on a falsetto. "But…huh?" Spike rolls his eyes.

"I haven't Mated him, you ponce. We're seeing each other…naked…in bed…with ropes….and other toys. Oh, and we kiss occasionally too. And share our feelings. And pick out drapery together when absolutely necessary. But, I haven't put a Claim on him…yet." huh? What's all that about? He's had his you-know-what up my ass That's the biggest commitment I can think of. What's a Claim? Is it like marriage? Me? Marry Spike? That's just weird…not to mention difficult. I mean with the church having a cross in it and everything. How would that even work? Can vampires marry? I'm really not the marrying type. At least I wasn't with Anya. What I have with Spike is different…mostly….I mean…

"Spike fucks me up the ass." I blurt out, oh so helpfully...I think Anya's ghost took over my brain there for a moment. Angel's eyes roll back into his head and he faints dead away. Spike looks down at his unconscious grandsire at his feet, kicks him once, hard, in the ribs and grins at me, laughing. He grabs the duffels then leads me out into the living room and into the other room which was waaay nicer and had a bigger bed.

"Come on. Let's have sex in Angel's bed. He'll freak out when he comes to." My lover smirks at me as he sets down the bags. I laugh and tackle him to the bed. "Of course he'll smell it before he sees it." He kisses me and then it hits me what he just said.

"Ew! Spike! That's just-ew!" he laughs and then does this thing with his….well let's just say I got distracted from my disgust real quick as my eyes roll back into my head. Oh God.

* * *

**Author After Notes**: I love David B. but Angel's just easy to mock so I can't help it.

Review and help me work on my term paper...if I write two more paragraphs of that you get another chapter!!!

Tropic


	3. Chapter 3

**_Bathing in Blood_**

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer_**: See previous chapters

**_Warning:_** Slash, Snark, and Language. Turn back now if not your thing.

**_Author Notes:_** I'm tired, and upset and probably should go to the Thanksgiving feast that I really want to avoid because I need to eat something but don't think I can handle people right now. I really just want to stay home and clean my room for my grandparents' visit tomorrow and work on my paper, and memorize lines and read whatever play that it is that is also due Monday and do my projects for my Film classes and really don't have the time to bath or pick out an outfit for this family thanksgiving shindig and if it wasn't for writing this series I'd probably would have had this emotional stressed-out feast a lot earlier in the semester. It also does help watching the fourth season of Buffy where she is overwhelmed by the college life. It does get easier after the freshman semesters but its still stressful. I want a break and am not getting one...in fact minus a week and a half for Christmas and New Years I don't have a winter break because I need the credits which has three days before the spring semester starts and I have to take classes over the summer because I'm failing math now and I need a job which frankly is impossible in this economy. I need food and to give you this chapter because, my dear peanuts, you are my saving grace. I need to be reminded that I'm good at something even if it isn't breathing. Anywho, to those of you in the USA Happy Thanksgiving!! To the rest of you...HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! It's sad that we need to put a day aside for this because we do have so much to be thankful for. Hell, if you're reading this it means you have a computer or at least access to one...which a lot of people don't have and I'm getting Angel-like in my brooding so I'm going to stop. God and Goddess above and below, I needed that rant. I feel a thousand times better now. So Happy Thanksgiving and here's chapter three. God I hate the holiday season.

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**Chapter Three**

"OH MY GOD!!" was the first sound I heard when I woke up. I smirk into the pillow and bury myself deeper into it. I feel sticky and stretched and marked up and there's only the corner of a sheet keeping my lily-white ass from being completely exposed to my grandsire's bulging and disbelieving eyes. My lover is hogging all the other covers. "Get out of my bed!" I grin and start to fall back to sleep, kicking the sheet off my body to completely expose myself. I didn't even know that Angel's voice could get that high pitched. It's actually pretty impressive…in a poncy way. The git.

"Spike?" Xander's sleepy voice came out of the cocoon of blankets he was in.

"What?"

"What's Deadboy Sr. screamin' about?" came the mumbled question.

"Probably the fact we had sex multiple times in his bed while he was fainted away in the other room." I say, drifting back to sleep already.

"Oh." It was quiet for all of three seconds. Then a hand as hard and cold as steel closed around my ankle and jerked me off the bed. I was airborne for all of three seconds before I crashed to the ground with a hard thump, naked at my grandsire's feet. Well, that's metaphorical as hell.

"Oh, bollocks." I flip around to glare up at Angel who has his arms crossed looking like…well he looks like Angel. You know the dour expression, the overhanging brow, the over-enthused brooding nature that just keeps coming like the Energizer bunny? I lean back on my elbows, displaying myself for the world to see, sticking out my jaw and sucking in my cheeks. "You mind? I was restin' up." I say with a raise of my eyebrows and a movement of my head to the right.

"You smell." He growls.

"You stink." I rejoin on a highly intellectual level because, frankly, I'm British and smart like that.

"You two need to shut up." Xander said, clearly and sat up, revealing the line of hickies running down his neck and chest. I had lots of fun giving him those. He rubs his eye with his left hand and fixes his patch with the same movement. We need to work on that issue he has of no one seeing his empty eye socket. It's becoming a thing. "Geez, can a guy get any beauty sleep in L.A?"

"Yeah, because he needs all the help he can get." I quip from the floor looking up at Angel. A pillow hits the back of my head. I look back to grin at Xander and grab the pillow so I'm more comfortable lying on the floor. I lay back and get comfortable with my head on the pillow and my arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. Another pillow hits Angel. I giggle as it makes contact and falls to the floor. I snag it and watch the show as Angel redirects that glare of his to Xander who is probably completely unaffected. I can't see my boyfriend from my position on the floor but he's dumb enough not to be completely unaffected by Captain Forehead's glare. I just giggle. Angel hasn't really done anything new since 1900 as far as 'punishments' go. He only has his glare. I relax into the ground and watch the show.

"So what's the agenda?" I ask. As much fun as it would be to watch my lover and my grandsire go at each other in a verbal sparring match to end all verbal sparring matches we're on a mission. Angel looks down at me.

"First, you two need to get dressed and out of my bed." I point upward with a specific finger. Guess which one.

"Ah, technically? I'm not in your bed."

"Bed. Bedroom. I want you two out." Uh, let me think about that….no. I'll go when I want to go. Fucker.

"Uh, no." I say like he's a moron because he is a moron. Which, when you think about it, is quite convenient.

"Fine, Spike. Stay where you are." He glares down at me. "I need to get dressed so I guess the pair of you will have to put up with my nakedness."………………………...evil bastard.

"Fine." I stand and Xander gets out of the bed. "But I would just like to go on record that-Xander when exactly did you get your boxers back on?" Well, more important matters take precedence over insulting Angel. What can I say? I'm a man-well, vampire-with his priorities in line.

"When you and Angel were arguing." Simple answer that doesn't answer anything.

"Love, Angel and I always argue."

"It's like our thing." Angel adds. Xander shrugs and walks out of the room, grabbing his duffle on the way out. When the human was out of ear shot Angel turns to me. "Since when are you dating Xander Harris?"

"Since you sent me to Paris." I look at him. I can be serious…sometimes. He walks away to the closet and grabs a shirt quickly.

"Geez, Spike. And you didn't think to give me any forewarning?"

"In my defense I told you a dozen times that I was sleeping with him. Not my fault if you didn't catch on that it was the truth." Angel huffs. He's huffy because he knows I'm right. He grabs socks out of a drawer and a pair of pants out of another and strips.

"Dammit, Spike. Do you know how much trouble you can get into with _Buffy_ for this?" He quickly puts on his pants and socks first, spending minimal time sitting on the bed. I'm too pissed off at him to relish how funny that is. I cross my arms defensively. He stands and throws his shirt on.

"She still doesn't know I'm back. Xander promised not to tell." I say as he straightens out his collar and buttons the buttons.

"Xander is willingly keeping secrets from his best friends? I don't think so." He growls, fixing his cuffs.

"Just Buffy. Willow knows. Giles, Faith, and Oz found out when we met up with them in Baltimore. They all promised not to tell." I look away from his eyes which are angry and I'm compelled to. But I won't back down. He may be my sire but he has no right to tell me who I can and cannot date. I force myself to uncross my arms. "We've been taking it one day, and crisis, at a time."

"Neither of you ever thought about the future. How typical. You know this will get back to her eventually and you'll probably end up dust. This is probably the single stupidest thing you've ever done, Spike, bar none." He accuses. I get pissed and look at him again.

"And is that such a bad thing? Look at you. All caught up on your precious destiny and when you can have Buffy and forget to see what's right in front of you today. Xander and I are happy and in freaking _love_. I won't let you-"

"Let me what, Spike? Remind you that bringing in a vampire hunter into what's clearly going to be vampire affairs is not only dangerous and but stupid and-oh, wait. I forgot who I was talking to." Git. He's right up in my face now.

"Oh please, you've never cared about vampire tradition and the secrecy of the Law. This is about your obsession with Buffy and the fact I'm dating her pet human. Besides, I want him to know, Angel. He has a right to it." He sighs and rubs his hand over his face, defeated. I think I just won. Did I just win?

"Does he at least treat you well?" Fuck. I just won. This is a bit surreal. I wonder if it's a dream…well I am naked. And Angel is showing concern over my well-being. Eh, I'll take it.

"Yeah. He's….getting there." I look at my grandsire. He grabs the back of my neck.

"Good. Because I know Xander Harris and if he hurts you? I'll kill him. Slowly." He promises with a subsonic growl. I smile. End of the day? Angel's Family. He'd do it. "Childe, you are just infuriating, you know that?"

"Yeah."

"Why do I put up with you anyway?"

"I dunno. I keep you honest?"

"_Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me." He punches me. I punch him back. We're slugging each other with abandon over a cup, over a girl, over a destiny, over a relationship._

"_Tell it to your therapist." I catch his punch him and start delivering it back to him, every feeling of insecurity, of never being good enough back at the monster that made me and I will be forever trying to be better than._

"_Cause every time you look at me...you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken…because of you! Drusilla sired me...but you... you made me a monster." I punch him, walking away toward the Cup of Perpetual Torment. He collapses to the ground. _

"_I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door..." He stands "and let the real you out." That's bullshit. __I grab the cross that burned him and swings it at my grandsire, knocking him across the room. I hold the cross in my hands._

"_You never knew the real me." My hands sizzle so I throw the cross away and walk toward Angel. "Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!" Angel growls._

"_No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: Because you weren't me." That selfish, egotistical asshole. Not everything in Buffy's life was about him. __I __grab Angel by the lapels. _

"_Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her."__Angel grabs my wrists and pulls them apart. He punches me then throws me across the room, causing some of the wood props to shatter. We fight, and I jab Angel in the arm with a make-shift stake. Angel rips the wood splinter out of his arm and glares at me._

"_All right..."He growls, changing into his true face "let's finish this."_

"Yeah. I guess you do." He smiles half-heartedly.

"Damn straight I do." I smirk.

"What else is family for if not to set each other straight?"

"_Alexander. Alexander, I'm talkin' to you boy." I looked up and saw my father looming over me as I did my sums homework on the floor of the parlor. A whiskey bottle dangled from his fingers and there was a wild look in his eye that I had started to associate with his opium use._

"_Father. I'm William. Alexander died last year, remember?" I say calmly enough. I was afraid because he was always erratic when he got like this. Where was Mother?_

"_No. No." Robert Pratt shook his head distantly. "William died last year. He bashed his brains in because of that horse. William's dead." He kicks my sums homework away from me. "Good thing too. William was nothing but substandard spawn of your mother. Poor woman. Gave birth to you and that sexless swine we called William. I'm sorry you had to put up with him." He picks me up so that I smell his rancid breath. How can he say those things? "But you…you're a real man…aren't you, Alexander? You're a real son for me, aren't you?" He asks me. "Strong, adventurous, like a real man should be. You'll grow up and join the military like your father, won't you? All William ever wanted was those books of his. Stupid little bitch." I was crying. Why was my father saying these things about me? Didn't he know that I was William? "DON'T CRY!!! YOU'RE ALEXANDER!!! ALEXANDER DOESN'T CRY!!" he roars and slams his fist across my face then dropped me to the floor. My lip is split and bleeding. I can taste the coppery blood in my mouth._

"_Father, I'm William. Your living son, William." Make it stop. Make him stop. Please._

"_No! William was no son of mine. I won't be associated with_ William_." He spit my name like a curse. "William was stupid and weak and died when he went riding with you, Alexander. He died because he was weak." Anne Pratt rushed into the room._

"_Robert! What are you doing to William?" she asks, shocked. Her husband rounds on her._

"_William's dead. That's Alexander!!" WHAMP!!_

"_MOTHER!!" Anne's nose was bleeding from the hit but she makes it to my side._

"_William, are you okay?" She looks me in my eyes._

"_You're all delusional." Father steps away from us. "Stupid and weak." he throws the bottle of whiskey into a wall and walks out. That was the last time I ever saw Robert Pratt, the man who I knew as Father._ Yeah_._ What's family good for besides setting you straight and hurting you?

"Driving you crazy." I say. Angel gives me a hard, confused look. I meet his gaze evenly.

"Spike, are you-" there's a knock on the door to the apartment. "Gunn and Illyria are here." Angel says. "Get dressed." and he was gone. Bastard. I still get dressed though.

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**_Author After Notes_**: Yeah. Review, if you want. I am so sorry. I re-edited this chapter because of all the mistakes that were in it. Sorry.

Tropic


	4. Chapter 4

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_By_**: Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer_**: See previous chapter.

**_Warning_**: Bloodplay

**_Author Notes_**: Thank you all for your support. I needed that. Here you go!!

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Spike walks out of the bedroom fully dressed in a black short sleeved tee shirt that has a thick bright blue stripe running down one side of his torso (a gift from Patricia) and black jeans. He had a thick leather strap around his right wrist and is constantly playing with it as if stressed. If Angel stressed him out I'll…probably do nothing. There are two other people in the living room with us (excluding Broodface), at least one was a person the other was a she-demon. The human's a bald black man who looked like he could handle himself in a fight standing off to one side and the she-demon was small and…I'm going to go with 'mostly blue', who sat on the couch. I grabbed a bar stool from the kitchenette to sit on and Angel stands in a corner looking, well, broody. I seriously wonder if that guy has any other channels sometimes like 'happy' or 'less annoying to the Xan-man' at the very least. Spike makes his way over to me but stands next to me in such a way that there was a careful distance between our bodies. What the hell? Eh, I'll deal with it later. "So, what's the game plan, Capt. Forehead?" I snark. The black guy snorts in amusement while Angel scowls at me. I scowl back. He doesn't scare me, not even as Angelus…okay _a little_ as Angelus but still not the point.

"I like this one. It has spirit and would make an excellent pet." The blue demon chick says. Demon chick magnet is on and working in case _anyone_ was wondering.

"He's mine, Illyria." Spike says, crossing his arms and growling. Whoa. She nods her head.

"I will acquiesced to your previous claim, vampire."

"Much obliged." The blond says. "Xander, this is Illyria and Charles Gunn. Gunn, Illyria, this is Xander…my boyfriend." There was a beat of silence and then….Illyria spoke.

"What is a boyfriend?" Spike smirks at her and tilts his head down to look at her. The flirt.

"I fornicate with him." I flinch.

"Do you have to put it like that?" I did not screech. I didn't! He leers at me.

"Well, yeah." My reaction is immediate and expected. I hit him upside the head. Like I said, immediate and expected.

"Stop that." I order. If I don't cut that puppy off at the pass we're going to have…something that is an allegory to a comedic fight scene. The black guy, Gunn, raises his hand.

"Since when are you gay?" he asks Spike.

"All vampires are bisexual. We really don't care what we shag." he explains. I did not need to know that. "All that matters is the sex...or the death...or the blood....or any combination of those three, really. We're simple creatures." He plays with the leather strap a little more. I'm guessing that he wants a smoke….or it's really itching. Wouldn't be the first time he wore something that was uncomfortable because he thought it looked cool. But it probably means he wants a smoke.

"Even Angel?" Illyria asks. Angel flinches and looks away from what's happening. I don't think anyone else noticed except for me.

"Especially Angel. Have you not seen his hair, Blue? Screams 'I shag boys', don't it?" Spike smirks. I snort. Angel glowers. It's all of the good.

"So how'd you two meet?" Gunn continues. We look at each other and then back at our audience.

"Sunnydale." We say together.

"Oh. But. Wait. Uh?"

"We got reacquainted in Paris." Spike explains evenly. "Emphasis on the _reacquainted_." Aaaaannnnd we're back to being dirty. I wonder if _Spike_ has any other channels….and/or a mute button.

"Oh. _Oh_. That's….cool, I guess. Really it's none of my business but this big bad with the book is. Can we focus on the stuff that is my business and not the stuff that isn't my business because this line of conversation is making me real uncomfortable" The black man says.

"Yes!" Angel says just a little too loudly and quickly. We managed to make him uncomfortable without really trying. Neat.

"The book's magic is strong. I can probably track it." Illyria says with a tilt of her head that looked really creepy especially since once she finished speaking her head righted itself and her eyes focus on me. Eep?

"But there's still the problem of Angel losing five minutes of memory when the book was stolen." Gunn puts in.

"It felt like Family." Angel interjects like we didn't already know that. Must. Resist. Urge. To. Roll. Eyes….I think Spike is rubbing off on me…and I so did not mean that in a dirty way.

"Only one of the line that has thrall is Drusilla though." Spike adds. Angel and he make eye contact.

"I know but she never had the power to roll me. The whole sire thing prevents it. Only vampires that are equal to my status or higher can thrall me and I was Darla's only childe" He glances at me "Her only childe that survived anyway."

"So, it's Dru. How's she doin' it then?" The Englishman asks.

"I don't know. But chances are she has someone else working with her. Drusilla on her own doesn't-she's not exactly capable of the grand schemes." Angel again. Is there no one else in the room? Hello?! Two human male and a-whatever-it-is-that-Illyria-is sitting/standing right here!!! Someone clue the soul brothers in, please?

"Yeah she is. Do you not remember the Judge? That was all her." Spike points out on the tip of his finger to Angel. The older vampire casts a frustrated look at Spike.

"Yeah, as amatter of fact I do, Spike." He says my lover's name like a curse. "You were roller boy then, weren't you? Not exactly able to be much help to her back then." Spike's expression darkened at that. His jaw juts out as he grinds his teeth and sucks his cheeks in.

"Yeah, and you were busy being evil and trying to kill the woman you claim to love while simultaneously mind-fucking all her friends including Xan here. Remember _that_?" Angel's expression darkens as well.

"Yeah. Of course, according to Buffy you've always been a burden to people when you can't bite people." Spike's face goes blank, every emotion wiped from it momentarily.

_I come home from work with a pizza and see that the basement is worse off than when I left this morning. "Oh, no! Spike the place is worse than when I left! You didn't even fix the drip!" He should have. The evil bastard._

"_Don't turn around." I freeze. Spike sounds dead serious._

"_Spike, what is it, what happened?" I'm afraid now. What happened? Did a demon attack?_

"_Don't look at me." came the ominous answer. Which is a bullshit answer. I turn around and my eyes almost pop out of my head at the view I'm presented with…Spike, wearing one of my knee-length shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. I start to laugh. He holds up some clothes. "I shrunk them. Bleeding shirt, trousers. I hate this place." _

"_You know I'm not any happier about you wearing my stuff than you are." as funny as it was to look at. Like really funny. How the mighty Big Bad falls reduced to wearing my crappy thrift store clothes. Serves him right, what with the being evil and enjoying trying to kill my friends._

"_Go out, get me some decent stuff and I want more blood." There goes my good mood. Asshole. Evil undead guys mooching offa me don't get to make demands, especially when I'm this tired._

"_No! You're not a guest." _

"_You want me to tear this place apart, you bloody poof?" Did I mention he's an asshole? I was having a bad day and he's not making it any easier. _

"_That's it! I am way past due with you. I hate to break it to you, oh impotent one, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the kind of naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space – my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, as much as I know I can give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something." I step forward, right under the drip of water from the leaky pipe. "You're not even worth it… I'm out of here." Spike looks on as I leave, at a loss for words. Like he didn't know I had it in me. Frankly, I didn't know that I had it in me. It made me feel really good. Of course later that night he tried to stake himself which, because I'm a nice, decent guy, made me feel like a heel and responsible for him...of course that might have been Willow laying the guilt-trip on me. She's really good like that._

"Okay, that's enough." I stand up and step in between the pair of them. Spike looks hurt and two seconds from saying something unforgivable to Angel when we really can't afford to have them fighting each other. "We really don't have time for you two to get into it now. So it's Drusilla. She's just one vampire and, according to Spike, you can track her. Add in a couple of minions and its easy stuff. Get in, stake as many evil undead as we can, get the book back, get out so Spike and I can get back home to Paris. End of story." The two vampires exchange a look. "What?"

"It's not that easy, Xan." Spike says.

"Why not?"

"There's something more." Angel adds.

"What?"

"I…don't know. Whatever made me lose five minutes of memory felt older than Dru. Almost like the Master?"

"The Master?" I ask. "But he's dead. Dead dead. Not coming back dead. We made sure of it. A coupla of times."

"Yes I know, Xander. I was there too. Besides, it felt older than him…I can't explain it."

"But the Master was…"

"The oldest of the Aurelius cult, my clang, I know. There are none of us before him. I don't get it. Which is why I called Spike back to begin with. If nothing else he's good at seeing to the heart of things. Come to think about it so are you. I guess it's a good thing both of you are here." Suddenly Angel stops speaking. He and Spike turn toward the ceiling and Spike tilts his head to the right, listening. "Someone is calling us. Summoning us to Sire's side."

"Huh?" Gunn said.

"It feels like Sire." Spike's voice took on a religious note, his head tilted and his eyes closed. "I need to-" he takes a step toward the door then stops himself. "No." He shakes his head, opening wide blue eyes to all of us, clearly afraid. "I want to go." He looks at Angel searching for something. "I _never_ want to go." Angel nods, rolling up his sleeve. He shifts to Game Face and bites into his own wrist. He stretches his arm out, offering it to Spike.

"Come Childe. I am your true sire not whatever is calling us. We are Family. Come to me and drink of my blood." What? Are we suddenly in a Dracula movie? An Anne Rice novel? Some weird bastard love child of Twilight and _TruBlood_? Spike all but runs to Angel, latching onto the older vampire's wrist. My lover drops to his knees and Angel cradles the blond to him. "You feel it more strongly being attached still to Drusilla." Angel cards the fingers of his free hand through Spike's hair, messing it up and loosening the springy curls from the overload of gel that Spike uses. I'm not sure how happy I am that Angel's feeling up my boyfriend. He's focused entirely on Spike though, so I don't think I could tell him to stop and be listened to anyway, not really. "Not being truly your own Master because she doesn't will it. Lead us to her, William." Angel pulls Spike to his feet without breaking the contact of the blond drinking at his wrist or the possessive hand at the blonde's nape. He turns yellow eyes onto us. "Get weapons. Gunn, you know where they are." Gunn nods and goes to a chest that, as it turns out, is filled with weapons. I grab a crossbow and a stake. "Xander-"

"I'm going." I tell him. "The blue chick can watch my back but you're using my lover and don't have Buffy's resources to back you up so I'm going. And Angel? If you go evil? I'm staking you." I have decided that I _really_ don't like Angel touching Spike like that. It pisses me off.

"You think you can?" Angel asks. He's breathing hard, petting Spike's neck and shoulders like somewhere between a pet and a scared child. That bastard is getting off on giving my partner blood and touching him in what is suppose to be (for Spike) comfort. He thinks that I won't dust him? Ha!

"No. I know I can." I tell him. "You know I will." Angel nods once, slowly, and then looks at Spike.

"Spike? William? Come on, boy." Angel grabs Spike's neck again and removes his wrist from the blonde's hungry mouth that reaches for it. Spike looks directly at me, his mouth and throat smeared with blood. He shifts back to his human face. I hadn't seen that he even changed to gameface. He growls low in his throat and shifts to fully face me. His eyes are completely black, like evil Willow. That's…new and more than a little scary.

"Spike?" I squeak.

"I feel her. I need to-she calls for me. Drusilla." He looks up. "I'm coming, my dark princess." I look at Angel.

"When this is over you're going to need to explain what the fuck is going on, Deadboy." I look back at Spike. "Alright, Spike. Where is she?" He looks at me.

"This way." and he walks to and out the door, nearly completely ignoring me.

* * *

_**Author After Notes**_: Again thank you and such for all your support. I am (ha-ha) thanksgiving for it. I'm finished chapter seven and cleaned most of my room and have one-third of my paper done and watched the entire fourth season of Buffy. I'm having the sinking suspicion I need to go through the play beat by beat to figure out Rose's tactics in getting what she wants. Can college be done now?

Review with platonic love and receive platonic love in return!

Tropic


	5. Chapter 5

**_Bathing in Blood_**

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer_**: Not mine. Except, you know, the plot and orginal characters I use to beef up the Spandery goodness.

**_Warning_**: Violence, nudity, vampires...turn back now if not your thing.

**_Author Notes: _**This paper is officially kicking my ass. Thank you again for all your support and need to ask a favor...one of my peanuts pm-ed me and is going through a hard time. Now, I'm not going to go into specifics but they and theirs need to be sent positive vibes, y'know? So do whatever it is that you need to (unless you're a total atheist but really I don't believe in those) to send pos-vibes to your fellow peanut and help their family get through this thing that has hit them via way outta left field and keep them in your hearts and prayers or whatever. Thank you! Here's chapter five.

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**Chapter Five**

Something different, my dear readers. It's Spike here and I'm narrating this past tense. It happened so fast that-I was-it was-bloody hell, we have to find him.

It had been so long since I last had sire's blood. It's…close to a religious experience made physical. I felt it in every fiber of my being. Like Holy Communion or your first time in a woman. Like you're taken care of and don't need to worry about anything ever again. I felt her in the moment Angel's blood touched my tongue. Drusilla. She called to me. Needed me at her side, soul or no. I had to go. I had to go to her. There was a moment where the stupor of blood cleared and I saw my lover staring at me with wide eyes, afraid. I reassured him, at least I think I did, and was off, descending into the miasma of my vampirism, pulled under by a riptide of blood with no want to ever surface again, little better than a minion rushing to do Sire's will. I knew the others were following but it didn't matter _nearly_ as much as getting to her. The closer we got the more I saw what she needed of me and the more I wanted to run away from her. But Sire's will and doing what I knew was right kept my feet running to Drusilla's side. It only took about a half an hour of walking/running before the group of us stood before a great warehouse. You could smell and hear the activity from outside the seemingly abandoned building. Bodies scurried around, moving stuff, scrounging through crates and boxes, dozens of vampires inside this building, like a pack of rats, all of them feeling like Family. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Illyria and Gunn flank Xander and the three of them head around to the alleyway. Angel grabbed the back of my neck, comforting me with a sense of being dominated, that I didn't have to be in control because Angel was. This was good because I don't think I could have formed a coherent sentence even if I wanted to. We walked through the front entrance. Then, the sense of Family became overwhelming, _here_ was where I belonged. Vampires rushed around like so many worker ants doing only heaven knows what and up on a platform, standing next to a great throne-like chair, stood Drusilla. She spotted us and giggled. "Ah, look, Mummy dearest, Angel and Spike are here. Now it's a real family reunion." She pouted at me, her hand on her stomach. "Didn't you bring me a kitten to eat?" Now that I was in her presence the need to obey Sire lessened but still coiled around my mind and organs like a giant, sinewy snake. I look at the vampire Dru was talking to. Sitting in the chair sat a strange vampiress. She wore a long dark gown and was pale, very pale, her skin had almost a yellow tint, like a corpse that was halfway to mummification and had the sun shining through it. But she was beautiful. A golden waterfall of hair fell around her white features like a halo of and her eyes were pure gold. There was no iris, pupil, nor white of the eye, just pure gold. It was like she was blind but I knew she wasn't. So beautiful. A regal goddess crafted of sunlight and set in the night to burn through eternity.

"Ah, these are the two of my Childer that I have heard so much about? William the Bloody and his grandsire, Angelus."

"It's Spike."

"Angel." we corrected. She smiled and showed a mouthful of fangs, sharp and deathly and flashing white in the dim light.

"How quaint. I am Aneirin, the golden one, head of the Aurelius clan of vampires and mother to you all." She stretched out her hand, clawed fingers with yellow-white hair on its palm, to Drusilla who handed her a book, the Grimmoire of Morgan Le Fey. She smiled at Drusilla who giggled and sighed. "Thank you for finding my mother's book. It was nice of you to assure my reign over this new world. You shall be rewarded." Like that her spell over me broke.

"Not going to happen." Angel said.

"Right. Wot he said. I'm not anyone's bitch." She looked at me intently, the Grimmoire resting on her lap.

"You're his." She said decidedly. Four vampires approached from behind the platform, dragging Xander and Gunn with them. "Ah, Nyx and Nox and their childer have brought me presents. Hunters of our kind." She tsked lightly. Drusilla clapped her hands happily.

"The kitten came to play after all. Miss Edith will be so pleased. We should have a party." She writhed happily, sensually. "It'll be all gore and party hats." She hummed happily and turned to Aneirin. "Can we? Can we, mummy dear? Have a party with the kitten?" Aneirin smiled.

"Don't you want the other?" Drusilla pouted.

"He tastes of dust." She hissed then whimpered, licking her lips. She ran her nails down her torso, still swaying back and forth. "Like nails running down my stomach. Oohh. Shhhh." She swayed back and forth, her hands on her head. "He'll be all blue and raspberries. I haven't had raspberries in so long." She started dancing and humming to herself.

"I got your raspberries right here." Gunn struggled against his captors.

"Hold him tighter, Delano, Daren." Aneirin ordered calmly and the two vampires kicked Gunn's feet out from under him and held him down by the shoulders. "Now, my childer, I wish to examine that one." She pointed at Xander, the Grimmoire dangling carelessly from the fingers of one hand. I shifted to stop the two dark-skinned vampires that held my lover and her gaze snapped to mine. I was suddenly calm and stopped moving. "I wish to examine him. You will not hinder my will, Spike. What I wish is absolute." She looked back at Xander who had been brought to her. Drusilla swayed and hummed happily, singing something to herself about dead fish and kittens at parties. Xander, for his part, struggled valiantly. "Shh, mortal or I will make this difficult for you." Xander struggled harder. "Such spirit." She grabbed his chin and moved his head from side to side. "No marks? At all? He never skewered you with his teeth? Curious. Strip him." Drusilla stepped forward and ripped off his shirt and the others forced him up into the air to allow my sire more room to take off his pants. Dru wrapped her hands in his boxers, Xander struggling above her to get away, when I growled and leaped at the dais. I was knocked out of midair by two more vampires. I fought, trying to rip the head off of one until two more joined them and held me to the floor. I looked over and saw Angel dealing with his own attackers. I snarled at the stage, feral in my need to protect my boyfriend from what was happening to him. Xander fought too, momentarily getting free of his vampire handlers naked as the day he was born, and managed to kick the Grimmoire out of Aneirin's hand. "AH! You fool!" She snarled and backhanded the human across his face. He collapsed back into Nyx's and Nox's waiting hands. She looked to where the book landed and it was gone.

"Looking for this?" Illyria's voice came from somewhere beyond my field of vision. The golden vampire snarled.

"Give it back."

"No." Illyria was calm, walking to the platform with casual purpose. "You will use it to destroy all things magical. I am, in essence, magic and will not leave my fate to that of a common vampire."

"I am no common vampire. I am Aneirin, golden one. I am mother of the Aurielius line, grandsire to the vampire smith, Amara and one of the most ancient of our kind."

"Then you should recognize my name when I say that I am Illyria, one of the Ancient Ones that woke from the Deeper Well to walk again upon this earth. You are nothing but a useless insect to me."

"Kill her." From all sides vampires attacked and Illyria beat them back. One that was holding Gunn joined the fray and in its absence the black man killed its mate. He ran and attacked one of the vampires that were holding me down. With the weight off of me I threw off the remaining three and dusted two with the stake Gunn handed to me before heading toward the dais and there I took a hit to my stomach and had to block an attack from Drusilla. I spun her around and threw her at Aneirin. The force of the two of them toppled the throne and I turned my focus on Xander and his captors but I saw something gold fly at me from my peripheral vision and was thrown instead from the dais. I found myself fighting Aneirin, grappling on the ground like a couple of children. She pinned me easily. I still struggled but was weaker with every passing moment I stared into her eyes. "What is it with this mortal that you would fight so strongly against Family to protect his dignity? He does not wear your marks anywhere on his body nor smell of Claim and you are far too young to know how to raise a Childe from a human while restraining your bloodlust. You and the other one, Angel, are different. Why?"

"We have souls, Angel and I. The human is my lover and I will protect him no matter what." She looked down at me curiously.

"Vampires with souls? Protecting the helpless from your own kind? Your own Family? What other atrocities have occurred in my long sleep? Does he know all of you, William? Are you an open book to him as you are to me? Does your blood flood his veins with the hunger of our kind? Such a strange world I have woken in. This bears investigation and I think that your lover should be the perfect teacher for me. Nyx! Nox! Take him home. I wish to examine him further." The two darker vampires nod and disappear with Xander in their clutches.

"NO!" I struggled harder but ineffectually against her bone crushing grip. She crushed her pelvis into mine. A wave of arousal burned through me at the same time I felt anger and rage.

"I think that you and Angel have too much light in you to be of use but I will let you live. Such spirit should be crushed slowly until you're bent to my will and my will alone. You will be mine, Spike, if only to save the mortal. I promise you that." She held both of my hands in one of hers and ran the claws of the other one through my hair and smiled. "And when I have all of you to myself…" She laid down on top of me in a sick parody of lovers cuddling, my hands still bound by her claws. "We shall take over this world together." she whispered in my ear. "Your soul with scream for me and I will make you anew."

"Not bloody likely." I growled from behind clenched teeth, tried to throw her off with sheer body weight.

"Oh, I think you will see it my way when you're ready." She sat up. "TIME TO LEAVE!" She shouted and she and the other vampires disappeared; leaving me, Angel, Gunn, and Illyria alone in the warehouse. I stand and howl my anger. There was nothing, no trace of them and they had Xander!

"Bugger." I kicked over a crate. "At least tell me we got the book." I looked over at Illyria who was bookless. "What happened?"

"Several of the vampires attacked me at once. It was difficult to throw them all off and one of them must have gotten the book." I roared and flipped the stupid platform over completely.

"Spike." Angel attempted to grab me. I pushed him off. "Spike!" He growled.

"I was powerless. I could've saved him and I didn't." I growled back. That stopped him.

"_Let's go! Come on!" __Caleb grabbed Xander and turned him around so he's facing the evil undead priest. Caleb smiled at the boy._

"_You're the one who sees everything, aren't you?" He balanced his hand in the air in front of Xander's face. "Well, let's see what we can't do about that."__ Caleb plunges his thumb into Xander's left eye, gouging it out. Xander screamed. I charged Caleb, knocking Xander away from the bastard. Xander, bleeding from his eye, stumbled back, falling to the ground in front of some wine barrels. __Buffy__ rushed to her friend's side. _

"_Xander! Come on." __Buffy and I lift him to his feet, and carry him out, each of us supporting one of his arms. The smell of gore was unmistakable just like the other time I couldn't-_

"_Alexander!__ Oh God!! Wake up!! Please" I cried. My brother's collapsed head was covered in blood and what looked like gray meat, the white of his skull shining through his matted hair and the red sticky fluid. We had been riding Aunt Elizabeth's stallion out in the moor and it had started to rain. Alexander, who was riding shotgun, turned the animal around and we headed back to the house through the woods. Alexander steered us along the path that was next to a steep hill. There was a thunderclap and the horse got startled, rearing. Both of us were thrown before the stupid beast took off toward home. I was thrown to the path but Alexander ended up tumbling down the hill. I reached for him but the rain made everything slippery and I fell too. There was a crack and a sharp pain in my leg but Alexander wasn't moving. I pulled myself over to him and tried to wake him up. There was so much blood. I never knew how much blood that the human body could hold until that moment. And the smell…thick and meaty and coppery. It made me gag as I held him close to me but it was too late. Alexander, my twin brother, was dead._

"Spike, it's time to go. We'll regroup and figure it out from there." I rounded on the taller vampire.

"No! The trail will get cold. We need to rescue him now!" Illyria examined the overturned platform and its throne.

"How? They moved faster than I've ever seen vampires move and there's no scent to track them." she said.

"Drusilla-"

"I can't feel her, can you?" Angel pointed out. The truth was I couldn't but I didn't want to admit that. Least of all to him. I kicked the platform once more, hearing the wood crack.

"No. I can't." I had said, defeated.

"Then come home. Regroup. We'll figure out what to do from there." I watched as Illyria picked up Xander's torn clothes. I swooped down on her and grabbed the still warm cloth.

"Fine." God, I hope he's alright. Pray for him, dear readers, please. We have to find him. I have to find Xander.

* * *

**_Auther After Notes_**: ummm....don't hate me?

Tropic


	6. Chapter 6

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_By_**: Tropicwhale

_**Disclaimer**_: see previous chapters.

**_Warning_**: Insanity. Nudity. Torture of the mental variety. Seriously turn back now if not your thing.

**_Author Notes_**: I only have two more paragraphs before I finalize my biblography and then I'm done!!!! A full few hours before my paper's due... go me. This is my reward. I get to update.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

It was cold and I was naked. These are the things that I notice when I regain consciousness. I go to move, to cuddle into Spike, who probably hoarded all the covers the big cover-hoarder, when I realize I'm chained and it slowly dawns on me what happened. Spike, vampires, really yellow evil bitch ordering her lackeys to undress me. Dammit. I've been back in California for less than 24 hours and already attracted a yellow vampire and a blue she-demon to the nummy-ness that is one Xander Harris. Did I mention that the demon magnetism is up and running? I open my eye and immediately wish I hadn't. Drusilla is sitting at a table across from me, dressed up in a floral sundress and with a matching sunbonnet. There are dolls (at least one missing a head) sitting at the other chairs and the table was set for a tea party with a floral porcelain tea set that reminded me of the one Willow had when we were eight. I broke a cup and Jesse broke the tea pot with the hand-painted violets on it and Ms. Rosenburg yelled at us because she had worked really hard on it for her daughter and we broke it in less than an hour of playing with it. It was a creepy comparison. "Ohh, look Miss Edith, the kitten woke up." The vampiress leans over and whispera to a doll next to her. I shiver, part from the cold, part from the creepiness that was Drusilla. "He'll be a good kitten, not like the other ones, shhh." She looks at me. "Miss Edith says that if you don't behave she'll eat your brains out. Grrr-ruff. Such a naughty Miss Edith she is." She nods. "She's just jealous, she thinks I'll replace her with you. Make you into a dolly like her."

"Tell her she has nothing to worry about. Spike'll come, kick your collective asses and rescue me." Drusilla smiles, unnerved, and stands.

"Oh yes. He'll come." She nods, agreeing. "But not to rescue you. You'll be gone. But for now you'll want to stay here with mummy darling and me. She was grandmother's grandmother, did you know that? She came back from the grave to take over everything, like Jesus."

"I didn't know that. But I'm not going to stay here with you. You're crazy." And I'm crazy for having this crazy conversation with a crazy vampire. She just giggles. See? Crazy. Did I mention 'crazy'? Because it should be mention...unless its already totally obvious which, with Drusilla, might be the case.

"Yes, I am." And she bursts out laughing hysterically. Her laugh sent chills down my spine.

"Can I have some clothes?" She stops laughing.

"No." She says confused as if she didn't understand why I would want clothing.

"It's just that I'm cold and you wouldn't want me to die of exposure, right?" She cocks her head to the side like a curious cat. "I'm human. Humans can die of being too cold. You know that, don't you?" She shakes her head no. "Well, we can. It's a bad thing, I'd turn blue."

"I like blue."

"So do I." What am I saying? "Just not for a skin color." She smiles like she understands or she's about to eat me. Yikes!

"I can get you a nice dress."

"I don't think there are dresses that would fit me. I'm quite a bit bigger than you." My brain hurts. I think I'm going insane. "Can't you find me a pair of pants? Like jeans or something? Isn't there a male vampire around that's around my size?" I lost her. I can tell from the confused look on her face. "Uh, Drusilla? Are you following me here?" She smiles again. Yep, I lost her. "Blue jeans? You like blue, right?" She nods. "Find me a pair of blue pants and maybe unchain me and I'll play tea party with you." Seriously, what am I saying?! She smiles brightly. She sways back and forth and tilts her head down in a way that's eerily similar to Spike. There is a shadow slashed across her face and she's suddenly very sinister.

"You promise?" It was easy to see the threat hidden behind the crazy girl act. Oh dear me.

"I promise." She smiles, the crazy-scary head tilt gone, and skips away out of the room, closing the door behind her. I sag in my chains.

"So ripe." A voice hisses from the shadows. A dark hair vampire in Game face slips out of the shadows. She's dressed in rags and has a massive burn scar running down her sternum that had to be painful. "So thirsty." She slinks toward me on all fours like a spider or a lizard. "So unprotected." She drew out the word 'unprotected' so it trickles off into a growl. I scramble to my feet and edge as far away from her as I could, what with being chained to the wall.

"Down crazy vampire. Back off."

"It speaks." She stops. "It shouldn't speak. Speaking gave Pandora her scar so it mustn't speak or its throat must be ripped out." I gulp and shut-up. Pandora creeps closer, sniffing the air like an animal. Suddenly, the door slams open and two vampires stride in. The male has his hand wrapped in a heavy leather glove, holding an ornate cross.

"BACK!!" He commands the crouching vampire. Pandora hisses and backs away. The male hands the leather glove with its cross to his female companion who backs Pandora out of the room. He turns to face me and narrows yellow eyes.

"What was that?" I ask. He snorts at the squeak in my voice. Remind me later to get my voice box oiled.

"That was Pandora. Nyx's sire. She was driven crazy by a witch whose town she attacked sometime in the 13th century." The vampire shrugs. "Her twin sister, Lillith, was killed by the same witch but Pandora somehow survived. That scar is her memento of the occurrence." He smirks. "Nyx and Nox say that they were psychically linked, the twin childer of the vampire Addac, and the severing of that link is what crazed Pandora."

"Oh." The vampire got a crazed gleam in his eye. Dammit, and here I thought I got a _sane_ vampire torturer. Someone must have mixed up my order. Well, see if I come here ever again.

"Do you want to know why I tell you all this?" I shook my head. No, I didn't. Nor did I care. "Because you're going to be the new Master. Rumor has it that Aneirin, herself, wishes to turn you. She only ever has one Childe at a time, one only. That Childe is the Master of our clan. She has decreed that you know all the Family secrets." He said, voice low with excitement. "I am Edward, lowly Childe of Christopher, made by Delano who was created by Nyx, who in turn was turned by Pandora, who was turned by Addac who was made by the last Master,Heinrich Joseph Nest, turned by Aneirin. The other who chased Pandora away was Isabella, who in life was my twin, made by Lee, who in life was Christopher's twin and made by Daren, who in life was Delano's twin and turned by Nox, and even this night killed. Nox was, in life, Nyx's twin made by Lillith, who-"

"Was, in life Pandora's twin and, let me guess, turned by Addac's twin?" Edward laughs, it was a terrifying sound.

"No. Both Pandora and Lillith were both turned by Addac. Ours is the Helix branch of the Aurelius clan, always twinned, always with a matching companion of the other line."

"I see."

"Then there was the line sired by Abbadon-"

"Uh, Edward? I really don't care. Spike and Angel will rescue me and-"

"No, they won't." His voice changed abruptly. Suddenly, the voice that was coming out of his mouth wasn't masculine at all. No, suddenly his voice was Aneirin's. Then the vampire that introduced himself as Edward steps into the dim light and I saw that his eyes weren't yellow but gold. Really gold. There was no iris, no pupil, no white of the eye. From his eyes gold color ripples out and over his body until Edward was melted away and in his place stands Aneirin. She smiles at me with a mouthful of fanged teeth. "I have cut them off from Family and this place is has wards in more than one way. They will find you only when I will it and, when I will it, it will be too late for you, Alexander."

"It's Xander and how exactly do you know my name?"

"I know all that my childer know. You are Alexander Lavelle Harris, born to Jessica and Anthony Harris on the day of April 12, 1981 in Sunnydale, California. You have been called a demon magnet, a Zeppo, and a glorified bricklayer. You have had very few romantic entanglements including Cordelia Chase, Willow Rosenburg, who is also your best friend, Anyanka, an off and on again vengeance demon, Renee Renaldé, and, most recently...Spike. You are also called the heart of the Scooby Gang, also known as the Slayerettes, the friends and support of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. You have proficient skill at melee battle, well you did until the vampire Caleb gouged out your eye destroying your depth perception and peripheral vision making you nearly useless in the field unless you count being a bait and decoy." She touchs my eye patch with a single claw. The pressure makes me shy away from her into the wall. That seems to amuse her. "Such an interesting creature. You hate vampires, it radiates out from you like sunshine or pain, and yet you are so certain he will rescue you and that the love and affection he shows you will overcome me and most of his bloodline. Do you know what the bloodlines mean to vampires? Let me show you. Let me show you what Family means to your adored Spike." She grabs the back of my head with the hand that had touched my scar and reaches out with her other hand to touch my forehead. There was pain, white-hot and shearing. I scream and close my eye. Then the pain suddenly stopped. I opened my eye. I was somewhere else. I don't know where but I wasn't in the room I was chained up in. Aneirin was gone too.

_I was in a nice bedroom with two twin beds. There were two little boys, about nine years old. One was stockier than the other but I could tell that they were brothers by the matching yellow-blonde hair. They were dressed in matching charcoal gray pants and jackets. It was a scene right out of a movie about the Victorian times, like __Jane Eyre__ or __Pride and Prejudice__. One went to a bookshelf and, picking a book, I see his eyes. His eyes are blue, pure blue, Spike's blue eyes. This is Spike when he was, like, ten! Then the other boy was-it had to be his twin brother, Alexander, who Spike once told me about when we first got together._

"_William." Alexander whines. I suddenly saw how much of this little boy was in my lover. How much of Spike that William borrowed from his twin's personality. "Come and play with me. You can read any old day." Spi-William turns to face his brother._

"_Alexander, there's nothing _to_ play." William whines back, pouting. "At least not until Eleanor's suitor is gone."_

"_Oh don't give me that 'Children are to be seen and not heard' rule. God, I swear you're such a mother's boy. No wonder everyone picks on you. You're mummy's little boy."_

"_Shut up!" William's eyes tear up, his knuckles white around the small book in his hand. "I am not." Gone was the Cockney accent, the swaggering bullshit artist. Here was this little boy that would one day grow up to save the world by offering himself after a few lifetimes of carnage crying because his brother was teasing him. William was proper, sweet, in a little-boy-who-wants-his-mommy type of way and it was bending my mind to see someone who I knew as 'Spike' like that. "I'm not." Alexander rolls his eyes and walks over to his brother._

"_Stop crying." William sniffles and wipes at his eyes. "I mean it. Stop crying or I'll punch you." William sniffs one more time but puts down his hand. "I didn't mean it. God, you're such a wimp sometimes. You're lucky Father doesn't see you like that or he'd beat the girl out of you."_

"_I'm not a girl." William pouts._

"_I know but that's what Father will call you. You know how he is about us being proper men. I mean we're almost thirteen, William. We need to grow up." They're twelve? Really? They look so young. Wait. But that means...Spike said that Alexander died when they were twelve almost thirteen and they went to their aunt's house in Dorset the week before their birthday._

"_I don't want to grow up. Grown-ups always die. I don't want to die."_

"_Everyone dies, Will. You know that." Alexander hugs his brother._

"_Not vampires. Like in the books? They never die." William looks so earnest, its so cute. "Maybe one day I'll become a vampire and then I'll come back and turn you and we'll never have to die, Alexander." Alexander smiles._

"_You're so stupid sometimes, William. Vampires aren't real."_

"_They are too! Miss Murray says they are." Alexander rolls his eyes._

"_Oh, _Miss Murray_ said it's true so it has to be." He punches his brother's arm and sits on one of the beds, kicking it with his heels. "You're so hopeless, William. Miss Murray is old, at least twenty and our teacher. What does she know?"_

"_That doesn't mean that I can't have a crush on her. She's pretty an-ah-and sweet." William sits down on the other bed, still holding his book._

"_She's old and mean." William laughs, grinning._

"_You just think that because you never do your sums homework." William snarks at his brother. "Besides, she's engaged to some solicitor. A Jonathan Harker. What would she ever want with a boy like me?"_

"_I can think of a few things." Alexander says. William blushes a bright red and looks down."I overheard the maids talking. They say that there are all sorts of things a man and a woman can do together." William's blush gets a little darker. It was fascinating to watch. The concept of Spike blushing was just weird. "Like….kissing." William's face looks about ready to explode. He looks down at his shoes with this bewildered expression._

"_Alexander, shut up. If-if Moth-Mother heard you talk like that-she'd...wash your mouth out with soap." Alexander grins in a very familiar way. Spike's grin when he's about to do something dirty. It looks obscene on a face that young._

"_I've kissed a girl." William's head snaps up to stare at his brother with wide blue eyes._

"_Liar. You have not!"_

"_Yes, I have. Ethel Brenmore, behind the schoolhouse last week." William just looks at his brother._

"_You could have gotten her-her-!" He gulps and gestures with his hands 'pregnant', his voice a whisper. Alexander just scoffs._

"_That's an old wives' tale. You have to do a lot more than that to get a girl with child. Eleanor told me."_

"_Like what?" Alexander shrugs._

"_I don't know. She wouldn't tell me. Older sisters aren't good for anything." William's face fell. _

"_Oh. Well, then…what was it like kissing Ethel Brenmore?" Alexander shrugs._

"_It was alright, I suppose, I've never done it before then." _

"_Oh." William looks around the room, looking for something to do._

"_Do you want to know what it's like?" Alexander asks suddenly. William looks at him surprised and confused. "Kissing a girl?" Alexander stands and walks over to his brother who is frozen with shock. "I bet you do. I bet you want to know what it's like kissing Miss Murray."_

"_Alexander, stop. You are scaring me." Alexander just smiles…then kisses his brother on the mouth, a quick peck which is soon over. William stares at him for a second. "That's it?" Alexander's face fell._

"_Yeah. I know. There's not much to it." He sat next to his brother on the bed._

"_Want to play cards?" William asks after awhile. Alexander nods and gets out a pack of cards and they play cards on the bed. _The scene fades into night with Alexander disappearing and William becoming a Victorian-style version of Spike. The room changes too. Much more lush and rich looking.

_Spike is pacing back and forth until suddenly Darla walks in._ All these years and I still recognize her from my nightmares. _She's pretty in a powder pink gown and blond curls piled on top her head. "What's amatter, William? Antsy for a kill?" she asks, amused. Spike turns and faces her._

"_A-I don't know." He sits down. "There's a party tonight with a woman I was in love with when I was alive but now-well, I suppose if it wasn't for her then I'd never meet Dru but she hurt me-" his Game Face appears. "I want to hurt her back. I want to kill all of them but-" He stops. Darla seems to understand._

"_You don't know how to go about it." Darla sits next to him. He nods rapidly. _

"_And I don't want to ask Angelus or Drusilla because _I_ want to do it and I think they'd try and-and steal the show."_

"_So what do you want exactly, William?"_

"_I want someone there to tell me how to go about it and then stand back so I can-"_

"_Did Angelus not teach you how to go about a massacre?" Spike shakes his head 'no'. "Well then, as your great-grandsire it's my duty to help you through this milestone in your education, isn't it?" Spike/William looks at her with wide eyes. "What else is family for? Far be it from me to not enjoy watching a first massacre, it's like a religious experience….if vampires believed in God." William hugs her, startling her, and then bounces up. _

"_I'm going to go get ready for the party, then." He darts out of the room._

_They were sitting in a carriage, side by side, when Darla pulls out a parcel from the folds of her gown. "A gift. Something to help you with tonight." Spike looks at her confused and then unwraps it._

"_It's a railroad spike." he says, looking at it. She smiles._

_"It's always nice to use props."_

_They are at the party. Darla has attracted all the guests to her as Spike goes from servant to servant killing them all and locking all the doors so his victims are trapped in the house with him. He then goes upstairs and finds three young children, two boys and a girl, asleep in their beds. He kills the girl first, draining her quickly. Then he goes to the boys and breaks their necks. He checks the upstairs. There is no one else home so he walks downstairs. People are complaining about the lack of drinks and appetizers, wondering where all the servants have gotten to. Spike smiles and nods to Darla, who nods back, and finds his target. "Hello, Cecily." She sneers at him, looking a lot like Anya's friend, Halfrek, which is weird. I can't move. I can't speak. I want to scream at her to run._

"_Get away from me, William." She snaps. He grabs her arm, hard. His smile is frozen. She cringes in pain._

"_No. I want to talk. That's all. You see" He looks up to the ceiling, thinking. He looks back at her. "I was out of line the other night. Telling you I loved you. Don't know what I was thinking, really. Who would love a horrid, little thing like you when I could have my Drusilla-"_

"_Is that her name? The trollop you brought with you?" He lets her go with a laugh. Cecily looks worried now. He's smiling a true smile now, a horrible, evil smile._

"_No. That's Darla. She's Angelus' girl. No, Drusilla's a crazy brunette that's stolen my heart and my life. She couldn't make it tonight. Besides, Darla's here to teach me something." Cecily gets her feet back under her._

"_Oh? And what's that?" Spike shifts to his Game Face. She opens her mouth to scream but he slams a hand over it to stifle her. He backs her into a darken corner._

"_How to do a massacre properly. That's what's going to happen to all your guests, Cecily. That's what happened to your servants and your little sister and brothers." Her eyes were wide with fear and tears. "You see, that night you so rudely rejected me I ran into Drusilla. She killed me like I'm going to kill you. The catch is you don't get to come back. You…just stay dead." He bites her, drains her and leaves her in the corner. He turns back to the party with his human face on. He smiles to Darla who smiles back. He reaches a man and puts a hand on his shoulder. "So you'd rather have a railroad spike driven through your head then listen to my poetry, eh?" Spike smiles evilly. "Well then, here you go." Spike pulls out the railroad spike from seemingly nowhere and, right before my eyes, drives it through the man's scalp with ease. Blood splatters everywhere and people start screaming. Darla watches with amusement as Spike systematically kills everyone, sometimes with his bare hands, sometimes with props like the spike. There was a lot of blood. After everything is dead, including the cat, he turns to her with curiosity. "So? How'd I do?"_

"_An 'A' for effort but you need to savor the kill a little more." She decides sipping a tea cup filled with blood. "You're faster than they are. They aren't going to get away so enjoy it." William nods, wiping blood off his chin with a bloody hand, smearing more on his face. Darla stands and takes out a handkerchief. "Come here." He goes to her obediently and she wipes the blood from his face. "It was very good for a first massacre, I've seen worse."_

"_Thank you, Darla. For everything." She smiles at him._

"_You have great potential as a killer, William. Just don't think this makes us friends. Come on, before any late comers show up and find this mess." She leads him out into the street leaning on his arm, stepping over a body on the way out. _The room I am chained in fades back into view and so does Aneirin.

"That is why I bring you here, Xander. You will know the real Spike and at the same time teach me about this world. You will know and understand and in the end beg me to turn you." I want to throw up. "Rest now." She left me to collapse, naked, in my chains. God, please help Spike find me. Help him rescue me because I don't know if I can take this form of torture.

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Author After Notes: Don't hate me!

Love you;

Tropic


	7. Chapter 7

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_By_**: Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning_**: Angst, slight homosexual tint to characters I don't own and make no money off of. If you don't get off on any of that, go away. Sorry, that was rude but at this point I've been up all night writing a bitch of a turn paper you yell at me I will hurt you....I'll sic Aneirin on you. She's one that I do own.

**_Author Notes_**: I finished the paper and sent it off...I've a million and one things to do but right now I'm going to rest and junk up on caffiene so I can get to class and then I'll sleep in between classes while studying for my math exam. Yuppers, that's the plan. Also? If you pull an all-nighter don't watch the Buffy episode "The Body" from season five because it's not only sad but trippy. Here's chapter seven. I'll upload chapter eight once I have chapters nine and ten written later today. What? You think I'd actually study for my math test? I'm already failing the course.

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**Chapter Seven**

The Blood-pull was long gone, leaving me almost in a sub-drop. Angel lets us into the apartment. I all but bolted to Angel's bedroom where I collapse onto the pillow that Xander used the night before. I could still smell him. Duh! I'm such a moron. I may not be able to track Dru and the other vamps but I could track my human, well, my Xander. I stand up and walk out pass Angel to grab a few stakes to throw into my pockets, a small knife that I shove into an ankle holster. "Where exactly do you think you're going?" Angel asks. I snort. Like it wasn't obvious?

"I'm going to find Xander. I may not be able to feel Dru and the others to track them but I can track Xander. Humans stink, no offense Charles." I grab a crossbow and a few bolts.

"It is true." Illyria states. "You human do have an offensive odor." The crossbow is really too big to take on a tracking mission so I put it back. Goddamnit! I wonder if I could hide a sword under my coat or if it would be too conspicuous? Probably would. Hmm.

"Gee, thanks." Gunn says sarcastically. "Just what a human really needs to hear. That he stinks." I grab a spray bottle filled with holy water. Looking at it, I twist the cape to lock it so I don't end up with an acid burn on my ass then shove into a back pocket of my jeans. "I never thought you were this driven, Spike."

"Yeah, well. You never saw me when I was in love, Charlie-boy." I grab another stake for good measure. "I got to get going before the trail gets cold." I stand and grab my duster. Angel grabs my arm.

"Spike." I rip my arm away from him.

"No." I'm going to rescue him. If Angel isn't with me then he's dust. He lets me get as far as the front door.

"Spike, the sun will be up soon."

"So? I'm a big boy, Angel. I can take care of myself and my own." With that I leave.

I get as far as East Hollywood before the coming dawn forces me underground and off Xander's scent. I stay in the tunnels until dusk and surface to find that his scent was completely lost with the hustle and bustle of the day. It was so strong the night before so he had to be close but they could have gone any direction in the time that I had to wait out the sun. Goddamit! I kick a dumpster that is conveniently in my way and curse when the stupid thing hurts my foot. 'M bloody useless.

"_Good bye, Dru. See you in hell."_

_I let myself fall forward just as Willow and Xander walk in. I turn in the air to look at them and miss the stake I had ridged up, smashing the table. _

"_What are you doing?" Willow asks as I pick myself up._

"_Bloody rot. Can't a person knock?" _

"_What were you doing?" the bint sound suspicious and worried. Xander picks up the stake that was among the wreckage of the table._

"_You were trying to stake yourself!" He says. Well as he says 'Duh!'_

"_Fag off! - It's no concern of yours." It really wasn't. After all, he was the one to call me a waste of space, his space and I wasn't worth it anymore. Which, really, was the finally straw. Couldn't bite, couldn't fight, crawling to my mortal enemy for protection, only thing left was to get chewed out by a just as useless waste of space as myself but, oh wait, that already happened._

"_Is, too. For one thing that's my shirt you're about to dust." This shirt deserves to be dusted. Did he not see the double favor I was doing him? "For another, we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you." That would just be the cherry on top, wouldn't it?_

"_Xander!"_

"_What? He wants to die, I want to help." Willow steals the stake from her friend._

"_It's ooky. We know him, we can't just let him poof himself!" Wait, yeah she could._

"_Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I'm beyond pathetic. Stuck in this basement washing skivvies for a blighter I wouldn't have bothered to bite a few months ago." Put me out of my misery, please? Xander was in the process of changing and gathering weapons in a bag. See? Even he was being somewhat useful._

"_Hey!"_

"_I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth." Willow just looks at me and I jump at her, curling my hands into claws and growling. _

"_Well, the shirt is kinda – not very threatening – and the short pants, but you know it could also be because I know you can't bite, which I guess isn't really what you need to hear right now, is it?"_

"_Stop, please, just clear out." _

"_Fine. But you break anything else while we're gone and you'll be sleeping in the garage, buster." Xander adds._

"_We can't leave him here like this! We'll have to take him with us to the museum." Willow looks upset._

"_Oh, you go on. I won't do anything. I feel better now. Promise." I say. Yes. Leave me to my misery. Xander puts an arm around my shoulder as we walk towards the steps._

"_Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we face an apocalypse." _

_Fred walks into her office in the Science Department. I'm standing in the doorway. We talk and I look right into her eyes, my arms that I can't feel wrapped around myself for comfort "__Don't wanna go, but it's like... It's like the ground underneath me is... splitting open and my legs are... straddling both sides of this bloody big chasm. It's getting wider, pulling me in. _

"_Is that... is that what's happening when you keep vanishing?" she asks, concerned. I can't take that look with those glasses and all that brown hair so I turn away. _

"_I know what's down there—where it's trying to take me—and it's not the place heroes go. Not by a bloody long shot. It's the other one. Full of fire and torment. And it's happening. And I'm terrified." I turn to look back at her, desperate. "Help me?"_

I trash the alley, angry and afraid for Xan. I need to find him. I'm punching the dumpster repeatedly when he finds me. Angel. He grabs my forearm before I can throw another punch. My knuckles are all busted up and one of my fingers is definitely broken. He holds me to him when I finally sob, not because of any pain in my hand or body but because I know what Dru and the rest of them are capable of. They'll mind-fuck Xander, show him what our kind were truly capable of and then kill him only when he screams for it. They'll have orgies in the pools of his blood and when he wakes again, after feeding them over and over again and taking their blood into his mouth, he'll come looking for me and I'll have to stake him. I'll have to destroy the one thing, the one person, that ever really cared about me not because they had to but because they wanted to. Xander is everything good in my life and to-I sob. I want to find him. I have to find him. Where the hell did they take him? Angel just holds me to his chest, waiting for me to cry myself out before leading me home. Gunn and Illyria were gone, probably out trying to find leads to find my lover but I couldn't really bring myself to care all that much. Angel takes the weapons from me and dumps them on the couch before leading me to his bedroom and stripping us both down without ever breaking contact on me. He leads me into a too hot shower where he washes the stench of travel and sewers and everything off and then pulls me back to the bedroom to tuck the pair of us into the bed. He spoons up behind me while I just stare into space. I know he's not asleep even though he's still enough to be but then again neither am I.

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**_Author After Notes_**: Here in lies the third story within the story. So we have Spike's history, what's going on with Xander, and what's happening with the fang boys...don't hate me.

Tropic


	8. Chapter 8

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_By: _**Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer:_** Not mine, duh!

**_Warning:_** Threat of Rape. Slight molestation by pretty women. Blatant hints of sex. Mind torture....please don't read if you are squicked by things of this nature.

**_Author Notes_**: Hiiii, so good news! I'm not fired! And I've written up to 11 and have half of twelve done. It's getting harder and hard to torture these boys. My natural instinct is to make them happy but somethings must be done...like making Xander more naked more often. Ooo, Ooo, look for the metaphors of "Meeting the Family" in terms of a stable relationship in the next few chapters. I was talking to...Goodfairy, I think, it was a while ago...like last week....and I realized this entire fic is really an allegory for meeting your spouse/partner/significant other's family and how the family always manages to separate the pair of you to cross question them and how it's absolute torture for the couple. Lookit, ma! Accidently metaphors! I is a intuitive genius! Or have watched waaay too much Whedon to be heathly. One or the other. ON TO CHAPTER EIGHT!!!

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**Chapter Eight**

_Riley opens the crypt door and walks in, looking around. Candles are lit everywhere. "Well, well." Spike emerges from the shadows, holding a crossbow. "You can take the boy out of the Initiative, but you can't take the Initiative out of the boy."_

"_I'd put that down, unless you're bucking for one hell of a headache." Spike hesitates, then puts the bow down. He doesn't trust this human. It was one of the ones that put a chip in his head, curbed his nature. Put a leash on him. He didn't like the reminder that he couldn't hurt the boy but covered it._

"_I can't be too careful. I got quite a few demons after me these days." Spike smirks. He's happy that he has enemies, things he can kill. These months with the chip have been hard on him with no outlet for his violence. He's still dangerous. Riley should know that._

"_I'm looking for some information. Might pay a little." Spike shrugs, this could be amusing. He won't kick the human out yet._

"_I'll play." he says and goes over to a couple of chairs, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter._

" _What can you tell me about Dracula?"_

"_Dracula?" Spike scoffs. "Poncy bugger owes me eleven pounds for one thing." He puts a cigarette in his mouth._

"_You know him?"_

"_Know him? We're old rivals." He lights a cigarette. "But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes." He points at Riley. "I'll tell you what. That glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any Slayer. His story gets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us." Spike sits down in his chair. "You know, the mirror bit?"_

"_But he's not just a regular vampire. I mean, he has special powers, right?"_

"_Nothing but showy gypsy stuff. What's it to you, anyway?" The vampire is curious and the human will answer. No, not just a human…Riley was Initiative and now is the Slayer's lover. He is an enemy that Spike can't take out._

"_He's in town. Making his presence known." Spike smiles._

"_Drac's in Sunnydale, way?" he puts feet up on a cassock. To kill Dracula would be fun, definitely fun. "I guess the old boy needed closure after all."_

"_Actually, he's gunning for Buffy. But I'm out to find him before he gets another shot at her." The human corrects. Riley sits down on a ledge._

"_Tough talk, cowboy. But you're not gonna catch him napping in a crypt. No, the Count has to have his luxury estate and his bug-eaters and his special dirt, don't he?"_

"_So you're saying I should check out mansions, that sort of thing?"_

"_No." Spike stands and drops his cigarette on the ground, crushing it out beneath his boot heel. The human did him a service. He can take out Dracula and break the monotony of his unlife nicely. He'll give the boy advice on staying alive. "I'm saying ... you should go home to your superhoney. Have a nice, safe snog. You're out of your depth on this one, boy." Spike turns his back on Riley, the human no longer holding any interest to him. Riley is as leashed as he was, being with Buffy. The malnutrition of not having human blood hadn't set in too much. He would hear if the human moved to attack him._

"_You've helped Buffy before, so she has a problem with killing you now that you're helpless." Spike's still turned away. He wasn't helpless. He still has the teeth, he's just muzzled, that's all. "I don't." The human thinks to threaten him? The demon roared within, gunning for blood and death. The insolent boy must die. Spike turns to face him, walks up to him. _

"_I'd like to see you try." Riley stands, gets in Spike's face. The demon roars for the blood. So close, so easy to kill._

"_Would you?" They stare each other down. The mind reminds the demon of the chip, remembers the pain if it attacks the boy. The demon doesn't understand much but it _does_ understand pain. Angelus trained it well enough for that. He knows he can't destroy Riley at the moment but one day he will. He could be patient until that day. Spike shows his submission by looking away and baring his neck. The human doesn't seem to realize how big a deal this was and Spike isn't exactly forthcoming with that information._

"_Pfft." Riley walks to the door. Spike calls out as Riley is at the door. "You're never gonna find him." Riley leaves. "Not before he gets to her." _

"Had enough, Xander?" Aneirin was wearing a long, black silk robe that gapped open at all the wrong places. She had me moved to her bedroom and now I lay, chained, on an overly luxurious bed with Aneirin laying on top of me feeding me Spike's memories. Sometimes, I saw it from Spike's view; ripping into throats, trying to rape Buffy, being attacked by the demon that wore his mother's face, feeling everything he felt in that moment. Other times she would show me the memories from a third person view; Buffy and Cecily telling him he wasn't _ever_ going to be good enough when he told him that he loved them, Drusilla leaving him for the chaos and fungus demons, Drusilla turning him, offering him an out from a dreary, painful world. I have seen Spike kill two slayers and be involved in the circumstances that killed at least two others. I have seen Spike come back from death, a ghost unable to affect anything and felt his fear of hell and detachment. I have heard him read his own poetry which, I gotta say, love him but he sucks major as a poet. I've been sick over some of the things I've seen and Aneirin just laughs the entire time. She acts like a lover would, sharing dirty little secrets during pillow talk, and it makes me want to run screaming. She had long ripped off my eye patch and has a creepy bad habit of running her finger in and around the empty socket like she was doing now propped up by her other arm and my body. "I don't think you have. So strong. You will make an excellent vampire. I will turn you and, how do you say it? It will be all of the good." She laughs like I said something funny. "Of course right now your mind is _screaming_ for _Buffy_ to come rescue you. Out of habit, I understand. After all, she is in Scotland and doesn't even know you're in trouble. Spike won't come to rescue you. He's lost without your scent. He doesn't know where to turn or which way we went and I've blocked him from the Call, him and Angel. You're mine, Xander, all mine. Isn't that grand?" I pull against the chains. "But you must be hungry? And in need of care. I'm not heartless, my Xander." She stands up and fixes her robe so she's completely covered except for her hands and an expanse of chest that arcs gracefully into her neck and head. Her hair spills over the black silk of her robe like spun gold and some small part of me has to admit she's beautiful in a completely terrifying way. She looks at me and laughs. "Of course I don't want you to die before I'm through with you, _comprendre_?"She laughs again and pulls a cord. A vampire opens the bedroom door.

"Yes, my mistress?" She doesn't even turn to face him.

"Go fetch Xander a robe and get his dinner ready for him. I think he needs food more than a bath and the utilities. After he eats we can take care of all that, I think." The vampire bows and exits. She looks at me smiling. "Oh, don't look so dour, Xander." She says with a baby-talk voice. "It's…all of the good." The vampire returns with several others and they grab me with strong hands before one unlocks my chains. They force me to stand and put a rich, thick robe on me. I continue to glare at Aneirin. Because really? She's the only threat in the room. The others won't do a thing without her say so. She finds this amusing and smiles at me. Her minions lead me out of the room into a bright hallway. At least they have electricity. The hallway is decadent and obviously part of a very rich home. I vaguely wonder who they killed to get it. They lead me down a grand staircase and through a marble foray into a grand dining room. The room was oak paneled and had a crystal chandelier and a long table with a red table cloth and at its head there was a place setting for one. It was here that that my vampire chaperones lead me and force me to sit down. They then bind me to the chair and shackle my arms in such a way to the floor that I could reach the table and my mouth but that's about it. They disperse, some standing guard over me and others disappearing into another doorway which I'm sure is a kitchen or something. Aneirin appears, fully dressed in a slinky black evening gown and sits at the other end of the table. "You'll forgive me if I don't join you, Xander. I don't eat." She seems amused by her little joke. I snort.

"Dracula wannabe."

"Excuse me?" She leans forward, showing a decent amount of cleavage.

"That's what Dracula says in all the movies. He's actually doesn't use clichés like that in real life."

"Who is Dracula?" She looks genuinely confused. That's funny. I laugh out loud. This disturbs her more which makes the other vampires antsy. Hey, what do you know? I'm strange and off-putting the Big Bad. Go me.

"You don't know?" I ask as platters of food are set at the table. "I figure a vamp as old as you should know of the Dark Prince."

"The dark prince?" Two vampires move forward to start ladling food onto my plate.

"The Dark Prince. The Unholy Master? _Count_ Dracula? The most famous vampire ever?" She sits back, her back ramrod straight. She stills. "I was his manservant once upon at time. Technically still am. Sorry sweetie. You're not the first vamp to try and make me their butt monkey. I'm resistant. Had the vaccine and everything." She's disturbed by this. "Come on. Where have you been? Asleep for the last millennium?" She smiles.

"As a matter of fact yes I have." Oh. "Eat, Xander. You'll need your strength." Three vampires hold me while the one forces food into my mouth. "I was once the thing that all men feared. My mother, in life, was Morgan Le Fay, and when I died, suddenly and tragically during childbirth, she brought me back using the magicks out of her Grimmoire. Of course, she got it wrong and I ended up a vampire in nature but could still walk around in the daylight. First thing I did was eat the child that had caused my death. I turned others, raised demons, and attracted a true vampire to me that completed what my mother's magic started. My mother realized her mistake and tried to destroy me, undoing the magic that held me to this world but it was too late. She ended up starting what my childer call the Dark Ages, killing her half-brother, Arthur, and nephew, Mordred, in the process. But magic is resilient like the hearts of men and I endured. As you can well see. You will know to fear and worship me above all others, Xander. I am the darkness wrought by sunlight and I will rule this world. Full yet?" Her eyes grazed over my body. "Human males have so many needs that need to be fulfilled it's a wonder that they can survive at all." She smiles grimly. "Make sure he uses the toilet when you bathe him. It would be disgusting if he were to soil himself during our next session." She stood and swept out of the room. The vampire fed me until most of the food on the plate was gone and I felt sick with being overfull. They unchained me again and picked me up to carry me out of the room and up the stairs. All around us vampires appeared, male and female, dressed in top notch designer clothes. Some had their true faces on while others wore their human guises but all stared at me hungrily and I'm not really sure that it was all for my blood. One female made eye contact with me and openly rubs at herself through her evening gown, pleasuring herself and licking her lips. I look away abruptly. Don't antagonize vampires. It's a bad thing. As we got closer to an open door that was clearly the bathroom more and more vampires poked their heads out of doorways and lined the hallway. Some were still, staring at me with contempt or whatever. Others writhed against the air and each other. My guards ignore all of them and lead me into the bathroom where five females dressed in red waited. My guards dropped me to the floor and left, slamming the door behind them. One of the females, the only red-head stepped forward.

"I am Brenna, childe to Ahriman, childe of Heinrich Joseph Nest, childe of Aneirin. This is my Childe, Chelsea." A brunette smiles darkly. "And our minions." She turned to the others who were all blonds. "Undress him." The minions fell on me quickly pulling the robe off of me. "You are very beautiful, human. I can see why the Golden One wishes to turn you." She licks her lips while her lackeys paw at me, rubbing up against me. I'd have to be stone not to be affected, something that was increasing obvious the more they molest me. "First we need to get you cleaned up." The girls pull me to my feet. I remember something.

"Hey! Aneirin said that you have to let me go to the bathroom and I really don't want to be watched for that so can you leave?" Brenna and her groupies look at me, confused. "Human here. That stuff's embarrassing especially when I'm watched. Can you leave?" Brenna nods and they all trail out the door, closing it behind them. I rush over to the toilet and puke my guts up again. Too much food and waaay too many vampires…it's just too much for my stomach to handle so I empty it. I flush away the vomit and gulp water from the sink to wash the taste from my mouth. There are no mirrors in the bathroom (go figure) so I have no idea what I look like. I make my way back over to the toilet and pee, breathing freely for my first time alone in a few days. I flush again and wash my hands, sitting on the edge of the tub to take a few deep breathes. How am I going to get out of this? If Spike doesn't know where to even start looking for me then it's up to me to escape. First, I need to get clothes or some covering. My eye falls on the robe. If I can convince Aneirin and the others that I'll play along then they might let me have greater freedom and it might give me the chance to escape. It might also make the torture lighter. I don't know how much more I can take of Aneirin's sexual advances with promises of death and Spike's life flashing before my eyes. There's so much he's hidden from me, so much he's afraid to show me. It makes me sick to think that I had a hand in what, for him, was torture. I lean my head against the cool tile of the wall and think about how cool Spike's skin is, what it tastes like when wet. I swallow and close my eye, my throat dry for the taste of him. I can almost imagine his cool hands running along my chest and stomach, his hard body pressing into me from behind, grabbing me-I open my eye to the realization I'm not imaging things. I look down to see an arm wrapped around my chest and a hand on my penis which is swiftly deflating due to my sudden rise in fear. I turn around to see a wet male and a female vampire in the full tub behind me. I hadn't seen them there before because the entire surface of the water was covered with blood-red rose petals and it's obvious they were hidden under the water at the bottom of the tub. It was the male that was holding me. Did I mention that they were both naked? And the male, at least, was very excited to see me. I scream. I'll admit it. I screamed. You would to if there where random male vampires fondling you while his female companion smiles. Creepy much?

"Brenna!" She calls out. "He's ready!" Brenna and the other females slink back in, this time leaving the door open. Brenna smiles at the two in the tub.

"Good job Addie, Armand." she says as Chelsea and the others slip pass me into the water, still dressed. "Pull him in, Armand, we don't have all night." With a sudden jerk backward I'm in the water and I'm more then aware that Armand is waaaaay too happy for comfort. Help? Brenna climbs in and straddles me. What is will these vamps and straddling me? Just because I sleep with Spike doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to all undead no matter how blatant they are. I push her off into the water.

"Get off!" I fight against Armand but he holds me still and it occurs to me that he likes my thrashing all around because his hand hasn't left my groin and I can feel him smiling into my shoulder behind me not to mention the really obvious-heh, help, I said help right? Brenna stands, her dress plastered to her body and I can see she's not wearing any underwear at all. Boy, she looks pissed.

"Hold him still." She orders. "Human, don't try my patience. If you don't cooperate I'll let Armand play you. He's quite fond of human males. Says that they are nice and warm around him as he takes them screaming." I freeze. "Good boy. Get him clean." The girls rush to soap me up and clean every inch of me, including some inches that don't ever see sunlight. All the while Armand is holding me and shifting occasionally to remind me just what will happen if I don't let them have their way. I'm terrified and I really want to go home. Can I go home now?

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**_Author After Notes:_** Remember that you love me.....right?

Tropic


	9. Chapter 9

**_Bathing in Blood_**

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer: _**Mine only in spirit and not even that.

**_Warning: Homosexual stuff!!!!! Naked make-out session...don't read if it squicks you._**

**_Author Notes:_** So something happens in this chapter that is intrinsic to the overall plot of the story arch and will be referanced in the fourth 'book' of the Spander Grimmoire series **_No Promises_** which will be posted back on the Buffy subsection this Christmas season, try and guess what it is. Love you! Here's chapter nine. :D

_**

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**Chapter Nine**

Sleep deprivation sucks. The wall, that I have been staring at for the last however long it was that I laid in the bed with Angel, was moving on it's own. That can't be good. "Sleep." He orders, shifting behind me.

"I can't." I roll my eye and shift myself so that my head was resting on my bicep and forearm, still staring at that wall. "I-" I make a face at the wall which just turned from off-white to yellow and back again in less than a second. That's just not right. I haven't had a victim that was on acid since the sixties. "just want Xander back."

"I know, but you can't go rushing off without some rest, Spike. Aneirin will kick your ass."

"I know that. I…just can't. Not without his heat. Got used to it." His hand rubs up and down my side and free arm.

"I know. I got used to having a heated body next to me at one point or another in time." He continues to rub his hand along my body, simulating friction. I roll over to face him.

"No. You don't get it. Xander was hot. Like hotter than a normal human. I don't mean that he was attractive, although he is there is no denying that, but I'd curl up with him in bed or on the sofa and he'd just radiate heat. Almost felt like I had my own body heat...as long as he was there." Why was I talking about him like he was already dead. Angel hugs me to him, cradling me to his body and carding his fingers through my hair, messing it up even more then it was.

"Got it bad for Harris, huh?" I sigh.

"Yeah," His hand slides over my butt and pulls me to straddle one of his thighs so that I'm lying on his chest. "I love him, Angel. We need to find him and-why is your hand still on my ass?" Angel moves his hand really quickly, with a matching flash of panic in his eyes, to my waist. I pull away and up so I'm balancing on my hands above him and pressing my groin into his own. I tilt my head down, looking as sexy as I can. "Want to start something? Angel? Are you trying to make me cheat on my lover?" Angel stares up at me for a few seconds and raises up, crashing his lips to mine. I moan, biting down on his lower lip. All of a sudden I'm on bottom with Angel grinding down on top of me. His hands find my wrists and he pins me to the bed. His lips are back on my mouth, his tongue thrusting into my mouth, matching the thrust of his hips. I moan as I feel his face shift, shifting myself. I crane my neck, offering my submission. He nibbles at my artery without breaking the skin telling me that he appreciates the gesture but he's not going to take advantage of it although_ I want him to. _I come, just from his body thrusting against mine and his kisses and his domination over me. Next thing I know…I'm asleep.

_I shut the door behind me and slide down in the blessed dark. I was in the closet that we started our relationship. Shut it. I know it's weird. We talked then. He cornered me about my reasons for being short with him earlier that day until I can't take it anymore._

"_Do you Scoobies think that I'm a sounding board for everything that goes south in your lives? You're doing the same thing Buffy did. You keep reaching out for me instead of dealing with your own emotional issues and I'm not going through that pain again. I'm not a sexual punching bag." Shit. I didn't mean to say all that. I was going to give noncommittal answers until he gave up and went to cover the window. I guess the best laid plans and all that rot. I can smell surprise rolling off the boy._

"_Wait. You think that I'm reaching out to you because I'm grieving and in pain and you're convenient?"_

"_Yeah. Pretty much." So I'm a little defensive. Do you honestly blame me? He shifted and landed on my ankle. "Ow."_

"_Sorry." He moved some more until he was straddling my hips with his thighs. There was a flash of him riding me, naked and sweaty, when we were at that hotel in Baltimore. I want to push him off and run screaming from the closet but there's sunlight outside, so yeah, my choices are get mind-fucked by yet another Scooby or be burned alive. Not much of a choice is it? And people wonder why I try to stake myself on occasion. "Spike." Xander's hands were cupping my face and forcing me to look at him. A flash of Drusilla holding me in the same way. She would kiss me and leave angry red scratches on my neck. I really don't want this. "Look at me." I glance at him, barely. "That isn't what this is about. I'm attracted to you. I find you sexy, annoying, confident, brave, self-sacrificing, cocky, beautiful and I really want to kiss you. Maybe even more than kiss you but I want you not because you take away the pain . . . heck if I'm right then being with you will actually complicate my life more than if I didn't want you. But I do. I like you Spike. You're a good friend and if sources are correct more than adequate to be classified as more than a friend but we don't know unless we try, right?" At the end of his little rambling speech he kissed me. Well not so much kiss as melt into me starting with his lips and going lower. I keep my hands flat on the floor. A flash of sunlight, bright and blinding and our first time shagging. I don't want him to say that I took advantage of him later. It was all on him. His hands swept down my cheeks to my neck and then my shoulders while his tongue licked at my lips to get permission to enter. My instincts scream at me to run, to get away, that this can't mean anything of great importance to the boy after all he hates vampires, hates me. He gives up on my lips and started nipping at my jaw line and then my throat, along my what would be my pulse point. God above that felt good! His hands slid down my arms and grabbed both my hands, interlocking them. He kissed back up my throat to my mouth and this time I kissed back. He hummed happily and smiled into my mouth. This felt different than it did with Buffy. I flash of my first time with Buffy, in amidst the wreckage of a building. Besides the obvious differences it felt gentler, safer. Xander seemed intent on making sure I was enjoying the experience as well. It was like the early years with Dru. As a fledge (and I kill anyone who lets this leak out) I wasn't too sure of my powers, I felt stronger but for the first few years I was still, for all intents and purposes, William, Alexander's weaker twin brother. Drusilla knew this and she protected me from Angelus (more or less) and was sweet to me in bed, instructing me through the basics of sex. It was nice to have someone care for me, to see me as something other than beneath them. Xander was doing that now. I joined in the fun a little more. I disengaged our hands and ran mine up his chest to hook behind his head and took control of the kiss. He seemed perfectly content with that and dropped his hands to my chest and stomach. My hands drop to his shoulders and slid lower, intent on taking off his shirt. When my hands reach the hem of his shirt to pull it off of him he immediately pulls back and grabs them._

"_Stop Spike." I pull back to look at him, my body screaming at me to reengage the fun._

"_Wot?"_

"_I don't want my first time with you to be in a closet the day of one of my slayers' funeral. And I'm so turning into a girl by saying this but I want our first time to be special." _I love you. Come back.

"_You had no problem trying to jump me when Renee died." I need to point that out. Xander was drifting away, it felt like he was drifting away from me, but he hadn't moved from his position on my thighs._

"_Yeah but there was a bottle of whiskey involved and I wasn't in my right head, pun not intended." He laughed a little at his own joke. "I wanted you but you were right-I wasn't thinking too clearly and so other stuff that has to do with psychology 101 which I didn't take because, hey! no college for the Xan-man and everything." I kissed him to get him to shut up._

"_You're babbling again. Get to the point."_

"_Sorry."_

"_S'alright." We were outside suddenly, in the daylight and Xander was really far away from me. I blink and we're back in the closet. _You left me.

"_My point is that I want you and if I waited for a time in my life where there wasn't grief and pain to tell you then I'd never __get__ to tell you. You told me to tell you that I wanted you when I was in my right mind, or something like that, so I'm telling you now. I want you Spike." I brush his hair out of his eyes and kiss him gently on the lips. When we break apart my hand stays cupping his cheek. He wants me. Alright, I can accept that. I want him too. He's attractive and sincere and has obviously grown a lot since I last saw him in Sunnydale. We could make this work. Doesn't mean I'll make it easy on him._

"_Alright, I can accept that but there is going to be a few ground rules."_

"_I agree." Both my hands drop to his hips. He's naked suddenly with a black eye and his eye patch missing. Someone, somewhere, laughed at us. _You couldn't keep him from me, Spike. _I shake my head and he's dressed and unhurt again._

"_I get to feed from you."_

"_No way in hell. I'll get you a supply of human blood though."_

"_Fair enough."_

"_We can't get lovey-dovey around the girls." I snort. "It'll distract them." I pout. I live for public displays of affection. "I mean it Spike." I pout a little more and run my hands down his thighs a little. "Fine we can snuggle but nothing major." I frown at that._

"_Define 'major'."_

"_Like making-out, dry humping, uh, standing too close too often." There was a flash of him pounding into me, burning me up from the inside, fingertips bruising my thighs. I close my eyes and when I open them we're back in the closet. That makes sense._

"_Alright, I can live with that."_

"_You're not alive." He shot back. I laugh._

"_We share the bed. That couch is murder."_

"_Okay but no sex for awhile. Until we can get comfortable with each other in this sense." No sex? Never had a relationship without sex. That won't work. "I mean it, Spike."_

_"Can't we at least play with each other's private bits? Shower together? A bit of lite bondage?" I waggle my eyebrows at him in suggestion. I get hit for my troubles. _He doesn't understand your need to submit to your lover, childe. _I shake my head._

_"No." Ah well, was worth the try._

"_Fine, but you need to invest in heavier curtains." I shot back._

"_You have to pick them out with me." Gah! Dammit. Fine._

"_Fine." I'm getting a little horny sitting under him like this and like the fact that he's being a little dominate. I'm naturally submissive (if you hadn't noticed) and like it if my lovers take control most of the time and in return I take care of them. I wriggle around a bit._

"_Stop that Spike." I run my hands up and down his thighs a little more. He slams his hands on the wall on either side of my head, arousal pouring off him. Oh, I found a weakness. "I get a least one kiss a day." That is no problem. I'm slightly impressed that he's coherent when I'm playing with his body. I drag my fingers to backs of his knees. We're having sex again, naked and sweaty and intense. I blink and we're just sitting here, in the closet, together._

"_You need to romance me." There, I said it, and now officially I've become a poof like my sire before me. Double fuck in a thorny rose bush. A flash of Xander over dinner at a fancy restaurant, violin music in an empty opera house. Paris at night._

"_Romance you? Like take you out on dates and stuff?" The Xander across the table says, smiling._

"_Not quite that but pretty much. I don't date." He looked confused. "Victorian, mate. Dates back in my day were what you call group dates today. I'm talking flowers and shit like that." He smiles at me and we're back in the closet. "Wot?"_

"_Why Spike! You romantic you!" He said a southern belle voice. He sounded remarkably like Fred. There are flashes of images; him dressed like a scientist in Fred's lab, Fred dying of Illyria, Xander dying of Illyria, Xander as Illyria blue and unfeeling. How creepy is that? We're in the closet. We're in the closet. Outside is death so we have to stay in the closet._

"_Shut it."_

"_I bet anything you're a secret cuddler too." I shifted uncomfortably. "You are! Oh my god, Spike the ex-Big Bad, a __cuddler__." _You miss cuddling close to him. Gay is the garland and fresh are the roses that I culled from the garden to bind over thee. Oh don't deceive me, oh never leave me, how could you use-

"_Shut it." I kiss him quickly to shut him up. "New rule, you're not allow to tell that to anyone." I'm neither confirming or denying it. He kissed me, smiling, laughing._

"_Don't worry, sweetie. I won't tell a soul about your secretive cuddling." We made eye contact in the dark. "No nicknames like sweetie, honey, or baby." He said._

"_Or Blondie Bear." I added. He nods and vamps out, fangs, browridges and all. "Now go fix the quilt so I can come out of the closet." He laughs and kisses me. I kissed back and he stood and went out of the closet. _You're going to be too late.

I wake up. I'm lying on my stomach and there's a heavy weight pressing me into the bed. I thrash about and wake up Angel. "Spike?" He catches my flailing body, reminding me that the both of us were naked. "Whoa! Spike!" Nonononononono, need Xander. Have to-oh god, I just cheated on Xander with _Angel_.

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**_Author After Notes_**: Umm...review but no flames, sharp objects, or underwater midget tossing allowed.

Tropic


	10. Chapter 10

**_Bathing in Blood_**

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer: _**Mine only in spirit and not even that.

**_Warning: Homosexual stuff!!!!! This is the obligatory sex chapter with two guys doing IT (sex, if you're stupid)...don't read if it squicks you or you know you're not suppose to. This is your final warning._**

**_Author Notes: _**All I ask is you read this all the way through before making a decision about it.

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**Chapter Ten**

"_Ang__elus! Don't!" Angelus presses Spike into the bed face down, undoing his pants at the same time. The more Spike struggles the more Angelus laughs._

"_Oh don't be like that, William." Angelus laughs. "It's just sex. Take it like a man." He laughs at his own joke. He rips Spike's pants fully off. "Hey, what do you know? You have a nice ass there, William. Maybe I'll have a taste." He vamps out and leans toward Spike's back. He pulls back. "Or maybe I'll just rape you."_

Aneirin laughs. "See, Xany? They have history. It's not the first time that he's slept with Angel. Do you see that. You aren't his best or first love."

"Shut up. You don't know anything. You're just a vampire. A monster." I growl. I'm back to being chained to the bed. Hey, remember when I said that I had a plan and it was to play along until they unchained me? She saw right through it. I believe Spike would say 'BLOODY FUCKING HELL' to that.

"So's your precious Spike. He doesn't really care about you, see?" The pain was back. Fuck_. Buffy entering the Summers house with Spike behind her. It's dark outside. "The weapons are in the chest by the TV, I'll grab the stuff upstairs." She says opening the door and moving toward the stairs, not realizing that Spike has stopped at the door._

"_Uh, Buffy..." She turns back to him. Spike lifts his hand in a little wave, self-deprecating smile on his face. Buffy frowns, still not getting it. "If you wanna just hand them over the threshold, I'll-" He looks away. He understands and isn't pushing. He's respecting her wishes to keep him out of her life. Accepts she wouldn't ever care for him in this small act of standing still._

"_Come in, Spike." She smiles while interrupting him. Spike looks surprised and pleased. He takes a slow step over the threshold, looking at the doorframe, then smiles. This is a gift. This is his gift for behaving._

"_Hmm. Presto. No barrier." They look at each other for a moment, then Spike breaks away, walks into the living room. The moment is gone. " Um, won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself." He opens the chest, begins taking stuff out. Buffy's standing at the doorway to the living room._

"_We're not all gonna make it. You know that." She says. Spike looks up with an ax in his hand._

"_Yeah." He takes a few weapons from the chest and walks back toward Buffy. "Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'."_

"_I'm counting on you ... to protect her."_

"_Till the end of the world." Completely sincere then he rolls his eyes and smiles. "Even if that happens to be tonight." Another moment. This time she turns away._

"_I'll be a minute."_

"_Yeah." Buffy turns to go up the stairs. Spike watches her go, stepping into the entranceway "I know you'll never love me." Buffy pauses halfway up the stairs then turns to look back at Spike. He's so beautiful, humble and sincere. "I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's..." Buffy gazes silently at him. He wants to explain what that means to him but breaks off his speech. For some things there are no words. "Get your stuff, I'll be here." She turns and continues up the stairs. Spike just smiles, happy to have a place in her life._

"See, Xander? He admits it. He wants _her_. He looks at you and all he _sees_ is Buffy and Angelus. It's in his nature to want those with strength."

"_Oh GOD! ANGELUS!" Spike was naked, rutting back against an Angelus that was bent over the smaller vampire's back thrusting into him. The look of Spike's face was bliss, his hands curling into the sheets. He vamped out and bit into a pillow, shredding it. "Ah-uh-" He breaks off to snarl and growl. "Harder!" Angelus rears up, his hands on Spike's hips, slamming into him._

"_Shut up. You're making it hard to concentrate." Angelus says, an Irish accent thick and to the fore as he tosses his head to get long hair out of his face. Suddenly, Angelus' back arches and he stares at the ceiling unblinkingly. "Oh"_

"_Bout bloody time." Angelus looks down at Spike. "Thought you'd never finish." Angelus pulls away and flips Spike over. _

"_You want to come, Spike?" Malice laced the vampire's voice twisting the younger vamps' name into a familiar curse then he goes down on Spike. Spike gasps and arches up into his grandsire as Angelus' face shifts and Spike screams in agony and pleasure. Angelus sits up and spits to clean out his mouth. Spike sneers and wipes off the spittle that lands on his chest with a part of the shredded pillow. _

"_Feel better?" Angelus smiles, still vamped out._

"_Yeah. Fuck Dru and Darla for doin' the Immortal. Wanna go kill some Italians?" Spike grins. "I'll take that as a yes."_

"He likes it rougher than you could ever give." Aneirin adds as the memories fade from my vision. "Shall I show you what it was like for him to be in both your best friend and that ex-vengeance demon of yours?" I growl and push up against the vampire straddling me, trying to unseat her. She just laughs at me so I try another tactic.

"So Spike likes it rough. Tell me something I don't know! So he's having sex with Angel even as we speak. You think that I don't realize that it's you manipulating them?! You stupid bitch! I've seen _Hook_. I know that you're trying to manipulate me into turning against him at the last moment when he comes to rescue me. All you're doing is showin' me stuff I already know! Spike's a sensitive monster! Big deal! He cares for the people in his life at the same time he's gleefully ripping others apart just for the fun of it! I know him! Sing me something new, you two-bit whore!" I'd say that she slaps me except it sends my head rocketing to the side and something that sounded like bone cracked.

"You'll pay for that remark, Xander." I glare at her. Defiant.

"You can try and make me."

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**_Author After Notes_**:...I got nothing.

Tropic


	11. Chapter 11

**_Bathing in Blood_**

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer: _**Mine only in spirit and not even that.

**_Warning: _**SLASH!!! Langauge...what else....Angel naked? Turn back now....whatever.

_**Author Notes:**_ I gotta stop trying to top myself...not only is it impossible but

_**

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**Chapter 11**

"Get off." I growl. Angel refuses, pressing into me, reminding me of what we did, of what I did. Oh, _god_. I don't _do_ shit like that. It's just not me. I don't cheat on the people I love. I don't cheat on Xander. I love him. I-I don't-gah-I don't....I don't! I swear. You know that I wouldn't-ever! WHY WON'T HE GET OFF OF ME!! If I was human I would have been hyperventilating.

"Spike, calm down."

"_NO_!" I snap my head back and head butt him. He pulls back and I'm able to get free. I scramble out of the bed and get as far as I could away from my grandsire. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" He looks at me confused and hurt, wrapped in the blankets and clearly naked. "What just happened-it can't happen again." I shook my head rapidly. "It just can't." I felt tears running down my face. Xander was kidnapped, definitely being tortured by an extended Family of the best mind-fuckers on the planet and here I was, making time with fucking ANGELUS, the biggest mind-fuck of them all. Where were my clothes? I'm the biggest jerk. God. I punch a hole into the wall and then lean against it, breathing in air far too quickly.

"Spike?" I roll around to face him. He hasn't moved.

"I don't cheat. I'm not- I don't cheat on my lovers. It-it's like a thing with me. I'm-I get sooo in love and try to be the perfect boyfriend because I just do-hello, fu-fu-fucking Victorian gentleman here. I just don't do things like what we just did. I don't-I'm not that kind of-he's kidnapped and Dru will-and I-" I'm aware that I'm Babbling with a capital 'B' but can't seem to stop.

"Spike."

"What the fuck is happening to me?" I look at him, eyes wide and afraid. Angel sighs.

"You're not even 127 as far as a vampire goes, Spike. You're young. When I gave you blood it heightened what your demon feels and probably gave it greater control over you and I'm sure the connection to the others is still there even if you can't feel them consciously."

"So what? I'm being long-distanced mind fucked?" Angel winced at my language but nodded. "Right." I wiped the tears away from my eyes, sniffing to clear my nose, and went through the darkened living room to the spare bedroom to find our duffle bags. I open Xander's and pull out a pair of his boxers and an obnoxious tee-shirt that had seen too many washes but was soft and smelt like him. I put on the clothes and walk back into Angel's room. Angel's wearing boxers and a wife beater so there's no longer all that flesh tempting-I climb onto the bed and curl into the pillow Xander used. "Shut it, Angel. Not a bloody _word_." Angel reacts by pulling me into a sitting position and giving me a neck massage. "I _hate_ mind fucks." He laughs which breaks me out of my funk a little. Sire was happy.

"What? Had enough of them when you were traveling with me and Darla? I don't believe that." He jokes and I laugh.

"Actually, I got tired of them after living with the Scoobies for four years. Have no clue why." He laughs again. It's a good sound. He should do it more.

"Yeah. Scary part is? They don't even know what a head trip they all cause."

"Exactly!" He hits a sore spot and tension leaves my body. "Ooooh, there's the spot. Oh." He laughs behind me, rich and full, as his fingers work down my vertebrae. I lean forward like a rag doll and arch into the touch.

"You're like a giant kitty-cat." He says, still laughing.

"Sod…ooooh, off." I start to purr. He strong-arms me onto the bed so that I'm face down into the Xan-pillow. I snuggle into that scent as he moves down and starts to massage the arches of my feet. Yay. Shiny. He works his way up my calves and thighs.

"So where I found you, that's where you lost Xander's scent?" He started in on my hands, first one then the other.

"Mhm."

"That was East Hollywood." He straddled my back and was back and getting at my shoulders and neck.

"That it was." Did he really think I could think about anything at the moment? His hands are turning my brain into mush. No wonder Buffy loves him. Now if I can only get him to stop talking about things that don't matter. He was massaging my temples and scalp. Pretty.

"And knowing Dru and really unable to miss that throne I'm guessing that they're tucked away somewhere in West Hollywood. Maybe the Hills?" He's still speculating.

"Maybe. Why do you insist on forcing me to think about anything when you're doing that with your hands?" he laughs. I don't think I said it above a mumble.

"Because I can be a right bastard." he quips. "Not to mention you seem to be a lot calmer and rational when I'm touching you so…"

"So we strategize about how to get Xan back and I get a free massage. Works for me." He was back on my neck.

"Not my fault you overreact." I snort. Bloody well too is his fault. If he hadn't turned Dru then I would have been left human and really this is all the Master's fault for turning Darla who turned Angel in the first place and now that I'm thinking about it it's all Aneirin's fault so there!

"Not over-reacting. Stupid this much Family in town with none of them younger than me except a handful of minions and they've kidnapped Xander and I bloody well can't think straight what from the Pull and oooh do that again." Angel snorts in what I'm sure is amusement as he moves his hands lower and cracks another vertebrae. Tension? What tension? The door bell rings. "Tell them to go away. M' busy." Angel stops with the touching and leaves the room to answer the door. Probably for the best. I feel better for having had the contact and roll over and sit up to contemplate what Angel had mentioned. He's probably right. Aneirin didn't strike me as a bint that would put up with dive hideaways down by the docks or warehouses of south L.A. It'd have to be somewhere big. Bloody well holding court to show off the Donut boy of the Scoobies who is dating one of their own, I'll bet. Bitch. Wonder if he's alright. Xander. He can hold himself together pretty well. I believe in him. No matter what my Family does to him he'll pull through. He's a survivor, bloody scrappy. Angel came back in with Gunn and Illyria. Gunn raises his eyebrow and cocks his head at what I'm wearing. I'm still in Xander's clothes which happens to be black boxers with Snoopy and Woodstock all over them and a lime green tee shirt that was waaay too big and had a bunny stating happily "I-heart-bathing in the blood of my departed enemies" which was a gift from Patricia who bought me a matching one with a bunny holding a bloody knife and the slogan "Time to Die, Nerd Boy". We had told her about Anya and her fear of all things rabbit-based. Patricia found it funny and became bunny obsessed, going as far as starting a MySpace group entitled "Evil Bunnies will Rule the World". But I digress. "It's Xander's shirt. I was having a slight freak out." I explain to the human. That got me another raised eyebrow joining its brother. Angel crawled back on the bed with me and I snuggle into him. My demon purred comfort. Comfort. Comfort. Comfort. We'll get Xander back, no problem.

"What the hell?" Gunn was starting to look edgy and freaked.

"Vampires are tactile creatures. Often Fledges will seek physical comfort from their Sires when upset or uneasy. This is typical behavior for them. I was surprised to find they don't do it more often seeing how young Spike is." Illyria explains.

"Oh." Gunn blinks. I cringe.

"I'm not that young, Blue. It's just that Aneirin has been messing with my mind making me act more like a Fledge than I should be."

"You are less than two hundred years old, a childe in the truest sense. I have been continually surprised that you are as independent as you are." I pull a face.

"Thanks, Illyria." When in doubt, be sarcastic. That's my motto. "Either of you found anything out about Aneirin and our little family reunion?"

"Some demons down in South Gate said she gathering up a bunch of different mystical items but there's really no pattern to it and no one knows where a nest that big would stay and not cause attention." Gunn said.

"They'll have to be covering their tracks when they feed. Going far off to avoid suspicion and then going back to their layer before sunrise." Angel reasons. I'm bored and want my gameboy. I shake my head. This is important. I need to find Xander. I get off the bed and lean against the wall I punched a hole in. "Spike lost Xander's scent somewhere in East Hollywood so I'm guessing their hideaway is somewhere in Bel Air. Maybe Beverly Hills." I wonder if anyone would mind if I sucked Angel off. I shake my head hard to clear it. What the bloody hell was I thinking? "Spike? Are you okay?" Everyone was looking at me.

"We need to find Xander." I say aloud, testing myself. Of course, I could just strip and allow Angel to fuck me hard as sin. I blink. "Xander's important to me." I say, knowing that I sound like a SpikeBot. I want to take a bath or possibly-I shake my head and stand up.

"Spike, are you okay?" Angel asks.

"No. I keep-there are thoughts in my brain that don't fit." I cock my head to the side as if to pour the wrong thoughts out.

"Any thought in your head doesn't fit, Spike." Angel snarks. I whimper. Grandsire was displeased. I shake my head but find myself back on the bed curling into the Irishman. "Spike?"

"Don't be mad. Please? I'll be good." I whimper then stop, jumping out of the bed and across the room. "What the hell?" It was my fault that Xander was with my Family…after all I brought him as a treat so why shouldn't I celebrate with my grandsire? I am sudden aware that I was breathing. "There are alien thoughts in my head. The more I resist them the more they pop up." I'm looking to Angel to make it make sense.

"Like what?" The human male…no, Gunn, his name is Gunn, asks. I glance at him and see food. I blink, shaking the thoughts from my head.

"Like wanting to forget about Xander and just fuck Angel." I look over at the other vampire. "I keep thinking about how much I want to please you. You, the big fluffy puppy with bad teeth and worse hair. I want to please _you._" I tilt my head in confusion. "Every time we-we're talking about where they might be and how to rescue Xander. The weird thoughts only start surfacing when we say something-we must be getting close! That bitch is distracting me from rescuing Xander! Can you chain me up and drip hot wax on my balls-?" I tilt my head and check out Angel's body, my tongue half hanging out of my mouth and licking my lips. WHAT THE FUCK?! I gag and shake my head to clear it. "What the fuck?" Gunn is looking at me weird and freaked while Illyria is indifferent as Angel climbs off the bed and stalks closer to me. I dart back into a wall. "Don't fucking touch me, you sodding git!" He stops a foot away from me, his hand out as if to a wild dog.

"You need more control over your impulses. That's all this is. She's lowering your inhibitions to your natural impulses as a Childe. You need to stay in control, Spike." I look at him.

"I'm not really sure if I can, Angel. These thoughts. They're-I want to drop to my knees and please you soo much I-it's just a distraction." I close my eyes and swallow, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. It's not real. There's no way I'm attracted to Angel. It's Aneirin. She's wants keep playing with Xander so she's messing with me. Keep me from focusing on what will help me rescue the person I love. _Buffy and Dawn sitting together in my cavern while I stand a little ways off. _

"_It's all my fault." The Bit was still upset about what happened to Tara even after I explained that it wasn't her fault. Ah, well. Sometimes you just got to hear it from family._

"_No." Buffy brushes Dawn's hair back, reassuring her. "Sweetheart, it is not your fault."_

"_How's Willow?" Dawn was this side of crying while Buffy continues stroking Dawn's hair. _

"_She was looking to go all payback-y on Glory for a minute. But I cooled her down a little. Actually a lot." That didn't make much sense. _

"_So she's not gonna do anything rash then." I ask, stepping forward._

_"No. I explained that there was no point." That's-Willow doesn't strike me as someone that would let something like that go by. I love Buffy but even I have to admit she's dense about the weirdest shit sometimes. I stroll a little closer._

"_Mm-hmm." is all I say._

"_What?" She looks annoyed. I try and explain it to her._

"_You - so you're saying that a ... powerful and mightily pissed-off witch ... was plannin' on going and spillin' herself a few pints of god blood until you, what, "explained"?" I ask. Buffy frowns, looks at Dawn and back at me. _

"_You think she'd ... no. I told Willow it would be like suicide." Beautiful, brave, full of love (even if none of it's for me) but still dense. I tell her the truth._

"_I'd do it." Stepping into the light so it bounces off my recent injuries. Anything for the sake of love, right? She stares at me. I can't take that look so I glance at the ground. "Right person. Person I loved." I screw my courage to the sticking place and look at her, deadly sincere. "I'd do it." Dawn understands what I'm trying to say even as her sister stares at me blankly, not getting it._

"_Think, Buffy. If Glory had done that to me." the younger Summers says. Buffy glances at me, getting it, and jumps up to race out to stop her friend. Anything for family._

If I could I'd follow the Familial Pull and kick her pretty golden ass. I'd send her right to hell and dust anything that got in my way…even Drusilla. I open my eyes, calm. "Gunn, Illyria. I want you to go out and figure out recent real estate sales or mysterious disappearances in Bel Air. Narrow our search a little further. Check the most expensive places first with the best security. She's probably going to be in something this side of a castle." Angel's giving orders as I'm watching him pace. There was nothing. It was just the Poofter pacing. He looks over at me and there was such a need for-"Go." The others left. "Spike? Do you want me to restraint you?"

"Yes, please."

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**_Author After Notes_**: A little more plot revealed a little closer to the end...I'm pretty sure where I'm going from here.

Tropic


	12. Chapter 12

**_Bathing in Blood _**

**_By: _**Tropicwhale

_**Disclaimer/Warning: **_Xander is not mine but I am torturing him, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

_**Author Note:**_ It's me! The Peanutmaster! Of course, who else would it be? So I have most of this fanfic finished. I have chapters 13,15,17, and 19 complete and am working on all the evens and the epilogue right now. **_Tell them about the poll._** All right, Spike, I was getting to that. _**Well, bloody well hurry it up, yeah? I wanna get to see the end before Buffy gets as old and saggy as Giles.**_ I'm sure the rest of my readers are right there with you and they're waiting patiently so can you. And don't you give me the eyebrow of doom. I know that you're as impatient as Angel is broody now shut it! As you can see I've seemed to have developed a split personality from all the stress. Unforunately, my split personality is Spike. _**Hey!**_ I hope that its temporary. The poll he mentioned is on my profile. You see I've hit a bit of a crossroads. There are five ways we can rescue Xander. They are; 1) Angel and Spike rush in and save the day, 2) Aneirin, for whatever reason, lets him go, 3) He gets out by himself, 4) Surprise!!!! (this one is fun, believe me), 5) He isn't rescued at all. That last if for you morbid freaks that love a good....I can't finish that sentence. Ah well. You'll just have to vote. Come on! I'm curious on what you think. Here's chapter twelve...

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**Chapter Twelve**

She made me pay…she shoved me into a cage that was really meant for a large dog. I couldn't sit up and was force to crouch on my hands and knees. Aneirin has replaced the shackles with a thick, padlocked leather dog collar that is attached to a chain leading out of the cage and the other end is bolted to a wall. Oh, and I'm still naked. Sometimes my life sucks. Vampires have come and gone poking me with sticks, threatening me to drain but they never do, mocking me by treating me like a dog, it's all very annoying. Imagination, people! Come on, you'd think that the Family of Angelus would be more inventive...unless they're holding back and really why am I complaining if they are? Aneirin comes and goes at random intervals so that I lose all track of time bringing Spike's memories and taunts about how I'm doomed to be here forever. If that was true then I'd be dead already. I'm starting to wish I was. It's hard to keep up hope when all you're handed is doubt, y'know? Spike'll come. He's has to. Right? Aneirin's shoes appears. I recognize them as her shoes because I can see the golden feet that fill them. "Hello, Alexander."

"It's Xander." She laughs. I stare at her feet and realize something weird so of course I blurt- "Why is it called the Aurelius clan if your name is Aneirin?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean if it's the Aurielius clan, shouldn't your name be-like-Aurelius? Why isn't the Family called Aneirin?" I get the creepy sensation that she's smiling. Yuck.

"It's in deference to the One Who Made Me. His name was Aurelius and he was once a Roman General. I thought by taking his blood I would be truly immortal, unreachable by my mother's magics. Instead it weakened me. The sunlight was taken away from me, the touch of a crucifix, the taste of garlic, the power of entering a home uninvited to leave no safe haven for my chosen victim. So I slew him. Chopped off his head with my uncle's own broadsword but even then my loyalty to my sire remained. When I started my own Family I gave them his name in honor and warning. Cold, Xander?" I was shivering and my toes were purple.

"Not even."

"Then I must remember to drop the temperature even more after our session." She can freeze me until my balls fall off. I'm not going to weaken. I'll die first. "What to show you?" I'm still. Won't move. Won't rise to the bait. Won't let the bitch win. I felt her claws skate along my back where it was pressed against the bars of my prison. I pull away sharply flattening against the floor of my cage. "Oh, how sweet you are, Xander." I growl and she laughs. Must-stay down. Must not let her touch me. "How about some scenes when he was tortured by you and your friends? Or maybe losing his virginity? His mother coming onto him? What would break you, my Alexander?"

"Xander." I crouch on the side farthest from her and glare upward at her face, I can barely make out her chin. "My name is Xander." She stooped to look at me in the face. She smiles. I hate it when she smiles.

"Of course it is and one day it won't be." I leap at her but am stopped by the angle of the chain and bars of the cage. She laughs as I choke. I back off to breath. "What? You think I can be defeated by your precious Spike? He is a Childe compared to me, an infant in our ways and there is no means by which he can resist my sway as long as I will it."

"He'll do it. Fought and won against bigger bads than you. I believe in him. He'll kick your ass. I have lots of friends that can kick your ass. Off the top of my head there's Spike, Willow, Buffy, Faith, Giles, Oz, Patricia, Alex, Kenya, Kennedy, Beledia, Sharesia, Amber, Kelly, Nicki, Angel…hell even Dawnie can kick your ass. I'll bet the reason you need so many vamps around you is that you don't have any physical strength at all. All you got is your mind fuck powers and that ain't enough to bring me down, sunshine, no matter how bad you want it. You can strip me, freeze me out, threaten to have me raped, force feed me, give me no privacy, and plague me with the skeletons in my boyfriend's closet but you can't bring me down. I've faced crap you couldn't even dream up. Faced down hell gods and apocalypses that would freeze the blood in your dead veins and when it comes to it I'll kick your ass because your weak, nothing. Maybe I won't win now but I will. I promise you that and Spike will be there when it happens helping me kick the shit out of you until you're dust."

"Bold words for someone who doesn't know a thing. Spike is not the hero, the…champion you want him to be. He's a weak fool and always will be. A slave to his passions." _I'm in Spike's crypt. Spike and Buffy lying on the floor, on their sides. She lies in front with Spike behind her, his arm around her waist, both covered with a pink sheet. Spike's hair is all disarrayed and spikey. _

"_You're evil." She says lightly, happily. Oh I get it. BuffyBot._

"_And that excites you?"_

" _It excites me, it terrifies me ... I try so hard to resist you and I can't." She says like a cheesy soap opera star and Spike grins._

"_Yeah?" It makes him happy. It makes him happy that she can't fight him, she won't fight him._

"_Darn your sinister attraction."_

"_Are you afraid of me?" He asks seriously. She gives a big smile. Ah. Fantasy Buffy, happy to be doing the naughty naked with whoever is doin' the fantasizing…that was a little too much information, wasn't it? I'm sorry. I'm being tortured and my internal defenses are breaking down. Just be grateful I didn't say anything about the random sex dreams starring Angel and Giles I had when I was in high school-I'm going to stop now._

"_Yes"_

"_You know I can't bite you." He says softly, regretfully._

"_I think you can. I think you can if I let you, and I want to let you. I want you to bite me and devour me until there's no more." Spike smiles a small real smile and he's breathing. It hits me like a Fyarl demon that he's caught up in his own fantasy. Oh my God._

"_Like this?" He bites her neck lightly. Buffybot smiles._

"_Oh, Spike, devour me!"_

"_All right." He pulls her over on her back and gets on top of her. _

"_Spike, I can't help myself. I love you." He's breathing and sincere._

"_You're mine, Buffy."_

"_Should I start this program over?" Spike frowns, reality slipped in without him noticing it. _

"_Shh! No programs. Don't use that word. Just be Buffy." Buffybot smiles at him._

"Well, Xander, do you see? Spike falls into whatever lie he sets up for himself. He starts out with a passion for a kill and ends up getting himself hurt. If he makes it as far as you then I will be here and one look into my eyes and he will be mine, ruling as my king over this world." Anyone else catch her mistakes? Anyone? Because even I ain't that dumb.

"Thanks for the tip." She cocks her head like Spike does when he's confused and doesn't know which way I'm coming from.

"How's that, pet?" It was my imagination that her voice was Spike's when she said that. Aneirin are completely different. There's no way that she's-he'd never try to mess with-NO! I shake my head of the thoughts that creep out of the dark recesses of my mind and attempt to band forces with Aneirin against me.

"You just admitted Spike's coming for me and if he's so weak why would you want him as a king?" I smirk. Spike's influence is a good thing. It makes me saucy…forget I said used the word 'saucy' to descript myself? Please. It'll make me feel better to know that everyone forgot that I used a word like 'saucy'. It's just…wrong. "Spike going to kick your ass, Aneirin. He's going to come and rescue me and you'll be dust for good." She stood.

"Do you want to know why I took you, Xander?"

"Because I look good with my clothes off? I have a quirky sense of humor?"

"Because I can see your soul. It is pure human. If I can break you then I can break the rest of humanity. All it takes is that first domino to fall. You will fall and be a _loyal_ lieutenant. Spike, a Champion of Light, will be my king and we shall cover this world in darkness lit only by my power." I nod.

"Got it. You want Spike and me to help you rule the world." I look up at her through the bars of my cage. "Never going to happen, bitch." She growls and jerks on my chain, choking me. The last thing I hear is her laughter before darkness takes over my vision.

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**_Author After Notes_**: Go Xander!!! Fight! Win! Now, my peanuts, go vote!!!

Tropic


	13. Chapter 13

**_Bathing in Blood _**

**_By: _**Tropicwhale

_**Disclaimer/Warning: **_Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a , make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

_**Author Note:**_ I sort of am almost finished writing this story and hashing out _No Promises_'s outline and what needs to happen in there...I should warn you now that there is going to be something that happens at the end of this story that is fuel for the fire in _Promises_ so don't get too down on it. I say this because I know a lot of you are really sensitive and invested in this little series that I've been rattling off. I promise _**I'm not done**_ but with these two characters, Spike and Xander, certain things need to be brought to light which-if I want to do a romance story starring two individuals who hate each other initially that have to fall in love with each other before the end I have a duty to address the elephant in the room which is the fact that they supposedly hate each other. I actually have not found that hatred that is so infamous in their relationship and I've been watching those dvds carefully, very carefully, and it was actually the nuances that I found in Brendon's and Marsters' interactions on camera as Spike and Xander which fuels _Promises'_ action. _**They never hated each other**_. And I purposely didn't cover it in _Sewers_ because that story is all about love and how its all-powerful at first so when reality starts to hit in _Innocent_ and even more so in the storylines in _Blood _you have these two characters just stop and realize that there is really no history or reason for them to be together but they still want to be together so how are they going to do that? I promise to solve it more or less in _No Promises._ Yeah, there's a reason for that title, a couple of them actually...see if you can spot them....when it comes time to recognize them. There are four major ones. Two of which should be obvious if you are something of a big nerd for all things Spike and have been paying attention. The other two haven't happen yet, the third will be in this story...its sort of...the first reason but at such a different angle that I'm counting as it as it's own reason. The last will be in _Promises_ later in the text. Sorry, college student, can has must overanalyze. But within the next four chapters its going to get heavy, and in the last chapter its going to be heavy and its going to seem like...its over for our boys. I'm telling you now because I don't what to deal with the multitude of reviews that happens when Spike was sledgehammered in _Innocent_ and the epilogue of _Sewers_ filled with outrageover my treatment of the boys. I gots a plan and am sticking to it. Promise.

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**Chapter Thirteen**

I was chained to the bed in heavy metal and leather shackles that had padding around the wrists. Angel had taken my shirt off but left the boxers on because I had another panic attack when he tried to remove them. After I bloodied his nose he decided to leave them on for now. I've never had a problem with taking my clothes off or leaving them off for that matter. I know I have a nice body (ass and dick included) and I'm usually not afraid to show it. But the mere thought of taking off those boxers….I just couldn't do it. Not in front of Angel anyway. It would be too much like betraying Xander again. Reminding me of my failure to my lover. Not gonna to happen. Besides, I can rock dresses and make David Bowie look like a troll when I wear make–up so it's not as if I don't look good in Peanuts-themed boxers. Hell, I made Xander's ghastly Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts look good that once. I know I'm pretty. Either way, the boxers stay on. Period. End of story, show, and eighth season comic. Angel walks into the room wearing light grey sweat pants carrying a candle, a knife, and a bowl of ice. I start to breath. He sets the objects on his dresser and climbs on the bed to comfort me. "Shh, Childe. Relax. I'm going to do this the right way…the way Darla raised me. You never had this training. The object is control. You-"

"Get on with it." I say. He hits me across the face hard enough to fracture my jaw. "Ow."

"You will be still and quiet."

"Or else what?" Angel smiles and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. "Hey! Wait! Get back here, you git! You're suppose to be helping me here." He doesn't come back. I wait half an hour, jangling my chains and yelling at him and he still doesn't come back in. In sheer boredom I start to watch the candle burn from across the room. It's very quiet. The walls are well insulated so I hear nothing but the sputtering of the flame when it hits wax. I can smell it too…rosemary and mint and the color is a deep pretty green. I inhale and exhale slowly, every fiber in my being relaxing. Only then does Angelus-no-Angel return, carrying another candle. He smiles and grabs the bowl of ice.

"Good. You need to learn to be still. Loudness, being abrasive, only carries you so far. You and I are different. We do not need to hunt humans but we still need that stillness. Open your mouth." I don't. "I'll leave again and you'll be that much further from your goal." Xander. I open my mouth. He smiles, petting my hair and neck. I did good. He places a ice cube in my mouth. "Close. Hold it under your tongue." I do. It's cold! I shiver and grunt in annoyanc even though I'm not suppose to be affected by that sort of thing. "Still, Spike. Control your reactions. Your reactions are human. It is weakness so cast it aside." The ice melts. He places a chip of ice on my navel and orders me to open my mouth again. He replaces the melted cube. "Control, Spike. It's what separates the minions from the Masters. Separates you from Aneirin. Break that gape. Control your impulses." I inhale through my nose. "DON'T BREATH!" I cringe from the loud boom that became Angelus' voice, no....Angel's voice. "Breathing is a human thing. We don't need it. Control. Open!" He replaces the ice cube in my mouth and the one on my stomach. I exhale, emptying my lungs and focusing. I close my eyes and stop shivering. "Good boy. Good Spike." I swallow the water in my mouth and open my eyes. Angel smiles. "Good childe. You did good."

"Necessity and all that." I smile. His expression darkens.

"I didn't say you could speak." I shut my mouth and look down. Control. He has it. He pets my head and his weight leaves the bed. I glance up at him to seeing him pick up the first candle and move back to the bed. He drips hot wax onto my areolas. OW!!! He has to hold me down with a hand wrapped around my neck and knee on my stomach. He put the candle on the nightstand and pulls out a blindfold. He ties it around my head so that I can't see anything and continues to drip hot wax on my nipples. I squirm and fidget. He stops to scrap the dried wax off my body. There is movement and the torture continues. I'm all for hot wax play but this hurts! "Control, Spike or I'll pull down your boxers and drip it on your dick." I stop moving instantly. "Good. But you did it out of fear." He scratches me across my stomach and it feels like the entire candle is being dumped on the open, bleeding wound. I grind my teeth and focus and the heat and pain disappears too. "Good." He moves again. I hear the knife being unsheathed…this is going to hurt.

_Some African women are sitting around a fire talking. In the background more people are walking around, sitting, etc. I continue walking, my face determined. A man tries to stop me, saying something in an African language. "__Toyenza coyengara. Erio mtuwana."_

"_Not asking for permission, mate." I don't stop walking and enter a dark cave. I slow down. It's almost completely black. I flicks open my lighter, revealing paintings on the cave walls. Images of people's faces in pain, bodies with blood pouring out of them, skulls. I'm a little nervous. More paintings. One depicts a black figure holding out an arm toward another figure, which is red and dripping blood. A breeze blows out the lighter. I look at it, slowly flick it closed, and continue into the cave. Then a deep gravelly voice speaks. "You seek me, vampire?" I'm nervous, but cover it._

"_You do the finger paintings? Nice work." There's a demon in the darkness, an indistinct shape and a pair of green glowing eyes._

"_Answer me."_

"_Yeah. I seek you."_

"_Something about a woman. The slayer." I nod with barely concealed anger._

"_Thinks she's better than me. Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head things ain't been right. Everything's gone to hell."_

"_And you want to return to your former self."_

"_Yeah." The green eyes glow as the demon laughs evilly. _"_What?"_

"_Look what she's reduced you to."_

"_It's this bloody chip-"_

"_You were a legendary dark warrior, and you let yourself be castrated." Let myself be-there was no 'let'! Bloody effing demon. Chose better wording...like leashed or muzzled or cockringed...not castrated, still got the teeth. I just don't use them anymore. "And you have the audacity to crawl in here and demand restoration?"_

"_I'm still a warrior." I am. I am still the warrior I always was...just bat for the other team now._

"_You're a pathetic excuse for a demon." Am not. That pisses me off._

"_Yeah? I'll show you pathetic. Give me your best shot."_

"_You'd never endure the trials required to grant your request."_

"_Do your worst. But when I win ... I want what I came here for." The demon watches me, breathes loudly but says nothing. "Bitch is gonna see a change."_

_I stand there, shirtless and barefoot, pants still on, pacing. "You understand, then."_

"_Yeah." It's been explained to me for over an hour now and I'm not a patient little vampire. "Yeah, it's not like you haven't been clear about it, oh great mysterious one. This is a test. I don't get what I want unless I pass said test. That about the size and shape?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And since your pad is decked out gladiator-style, and no number two pencils have been provided ... I guess we're not starting with the written." I look around nervously. A person walks up behind me. I can hear them, I turn and look at him. He appears to be human, but very large and muscular. "Oh, here we go then. Just me and the walking action figure. I'm venturing this would be the kill-or-be-killed type of situation, then?"_

"_To the death." Figures._

"_Right." I face his opponent, anticipating. "Here we are now. Entertain us." The muscled man holds up his fists and smacks his forearms together. Both his hands burst into flame. That's a bit alarming. "Oh, son of a b..." Muscle-man punches me in the head. I go down. Another punch. I scramble backward. Another piledriver. I'm hurtled against a wall and groan. I'm losing spectacularly. I have a large burn on my chest and various other injuries. I hurt but I'm still gonna kick-I slump down onto the ground and wipe the blood from my mouth with the back of one hand. "Had enough?" I pull myself up. The muscle-man punches me again. I stumble back, going around a large pillar, coming out from the other side and take a swing. Muscle-man ducks, punches me again. I reel against another wall, bounce back, take a few more punches and goes down. On the next punch, I grab the other man's fist, flames and all. It hurts because, you know, fire on bare flesh will do that but I hold on, then shove muscle-man back with a strong thrust. After I do that I cradled my burnt hand "Bad move, bad move, bad move..." I duck another punch, grab muscle-man's arm and flip him over onto his back. While muscle-man is on the ground, I kick him in the groin, flipping him over head over heels. I straddle muscle-man's shoulders and take a hold of his head, and break his neck. I straighten up, breathing. "Looks like local boy loses." The demon reappears._

"_So it would appear."_

"_Good on me, then. I get what I came for. I passed, right?"_

"_Indeed. You have passed the first stage of the test."_

"_Right, I get...Wait. First stage?" Silence. The demon's eyes glow greenish-blue. "Bugger." The fight ends when I hold another demon's head in one hand. I'm bruised all over. The last two really were quite difficult, the first after Firefist looked like a crocodile except it was about twenty feet long...or at least judging by its teeth it was. Really never got to see the rest of it. That fight ended when the lizard chomped down and I broke off on off one of the teeth and stabbed it up through the soft palette in the roof of its mouth. It roared and died. The next one was green and ugly. It had a tongue like Doc and acid spit...made it hard to get close to it but I grapped the croc tooth and used it to decapitate the blighter. "Well, that was a bloody doddle and piece o'piss." I stagger and go to my knees wearily, but maintain my sarcastic tone. "Got any more ruddy tests for me, you ponce? I'll take anything you can throw at me, if it'll get me what I need to take care of the Slayer. Give her what's coming to her." I sniff angrily not in a weak attempt to hide my frustration and-or whatever. "So you just bring it on. Bring on the whole-" I pause, confused. Weird skittering noises. Then I realize what that skittering noise is. "Bloody hell." Lots and lots of large black beetles, start crawling up my body. They swarm up my chest and neck and onto my face as I squeezes my eyes shut and grunt in distaste. I hate bugs, spend any amount of time having to dig yourself out of a coffin with maggots and such trying to eat you and GHAUGH! But I make it through. I end up lying on my back on the ground, motionless. But I make it. A shadow moves across my face, I can feel it. _

"_You have endured the required trials." Fuck yeah I did._

"_Bloody right I have." Slowly, painfully, I roll onto my side and push myself up onto my knees. I'm covered with wounds and I HURT! But I won soo…."So you'll give me what I want? Make me what I was. So Buffy can get what she deserves." The demon's green eyes glow in the dark. _

"_Very well." I watch the demon nervously. "We will return..." The demon's hand reaches out toward my chest. "...your soul." The hand touches me over my heart and I glow fiery yellow-orange. IT HURTS AND-oh god! It hurts! Let me die. I throw back my head and scream._

We went through every sensation we could; cold, hot, soft, hard, pain, pleasure, even bloodlust. You name it and we did it. In the end I had slipped into a head space I normal only got when playing BDSM games with Drusilla. Then the truth dawned on me. Nothing could affect me unless I chose. I felt the pull of Family and of the soul and there, within myself, it didn't matter because I willed it so. It was nothing to me if I so willed it. I willed that the Family lose its grip on my mind and it did. I slip the shackles that tied me to Drusilla and through her Aneirin and Angel, as easily as a fish slips through water. Then it came to me. It was like the whole wide world opened at my feet and it was mine. I knew how to find Xander. Then another truth. I wasn't done trying to become a Master. I had to train my senses, my body, my everything to do my will. Once I found him then I could train up. Become the best Master vampire there ever was. Angel took off my blindfold. I look at him and he was just another vampire. Not the Poof or Grandsire or Angelus, he was just Angel...there was nothing special about him. We were equals and had been for a long time. "Angel, I ask you as an equal. Unchain me."

* * *

**_Author After Notes:_** So Spike's knows how to rescue Xander but will he be in time?

Tropic


	14. Chapter 14

_**Bathing in Blood **_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

**_Author Note: _**So life goes out..or on...whichever the platitude is and I am a step closer to the end of the semester. yay....here's chapter fourteen

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

It's not a matter of holding out…wait, no it is. It is a matter of holding out. I shake my head. Aneirin has continued the 'treat the human like a dog' theme she's got going. I've been presented with two doggie dishes; one filled with wet dog food and one filled with water both with my name artfully painted on them in blood. So far I've avoided falling to the urge to eat or drink. Not that I'm not starving or dehydrated because I am. But I'm more afraid that she'll insist her 'children' take me for walks around the property and leave me outside until I relieve myself. Some humiliations just aren't going to happen. I'm not going to fall into her game. There's no way. Aneirin appears. "Not hungy, Xander? Don't you want water? Wanna go for a walk?" She starts off with a baby talk and then ends up in a tone that's amused and archnemsis-y. Bitch.

"No. No and No." Bitch. I add silently. Hey, last time I insulted her she choked me until I passed out. She laughs and bends over so that her cleavage is all but falling out. She pouts.

"What? Doesn't the human want to play?" She sneers. "Too bad I do."

"So what's next? Showing me Spike's obsession with my best friend or the time he hit me over the head with a microscope because he was obsessed with getting Drusilla back?" Come to think about it but Spike get obsessed...a lot, like Buffy saving the world a lot. "There's nothing new that you could show me that I don't already know about him."

"How about when he went to Woodstock-

"And ate a flower person and spent the rest of the night watching his hand move, yadda, yadda, yadda. Knew that!"

"I was about to say 'and met Jimi Hendrix who taught him to play guitar at Drusilla's request."

"Spike plays guitar?"

"And does slam poetry, speaks at least seven different languages including French and Fyral-"

"Knew that." She jerked my chain to get me to shut up. "Ow."

"And is deathly afraid of maggots and being rejected." I look at her silently. "There's a lot about your precious William you don't know…it's become increasingly obvious to me if not to yourself. If I hadn't known any better I would've switched to other forms of torture but these memories of Spike's….it disturbs you to realize that you don't know him as well as you thought and that makes you amusing and alive."

"Talk all you want, Aneirin. I'm becoming immune to it." She smirks.

"You're becoming feral. You're breaking down, Xander, even if you don't realize it. By the time Spike will find you it will be too late, my little loyal puppy." I resist the urge to growl. I look at her smirking down at me like she's already won and I laugh. Something bubbles up from inside of me and I laugh hysterically. I grin evilly.

"Hyena. I'm not a dog, you bitch. I'm hyena. They're more closely related to cats, FYI." I laugh again. The hyena bubbles up and out of wherever it had retreated to for all these years inside my mind. I was becoming feral? I was feral. Giles once told me that the reversal spell only suppressed the hyena spirit, that I'd be fighting this thing my entire natural life. The hyena hadn't faded, it just lay hidden, made compliant by my choices to follow Willow's and Buffy's leads and the lack of an ritual to bring it forth. It even bowed down to Anya's needs and desires for the years we were together.

"Hyena are matriarchal, Xander."

"Yeah. And my Matriarch is Buffy Summers, followed by Willow. I am an enforcer, a loyal _pack_ animal to the end. You are an enemy of the pack and will never win me or my mate."

"He's not your mate by vampire standard or by human. He is mine and you will be too."

"Never. Don't you ever watch the movies? The good guys always win." I laugh. She sneers.

"Like the way Spike won against the First?"

"Well yeah. He's the one that closed the Hellmouth. Beat that, Sugar Plum." Aneirin looks annoyed. I try to care but realize I really don't. Oh well.

"You're starting to annoy me." I giggle.

"Really? Because I was trying so hard." Quip, thy name is Xander. She sneers.

"Well, try this." PAIN, capital lettering.

_I'm in Spike's crypt. Buffy enters at the same time Spike emerges from his underground lair. "The sun sets and she appears." He climbs up the rest of the way up and pauses. "Come to serenade me?" _

"_So you know what's going on." She should be less surprised…wait, why is she in Spike's crypt? Oh crap, Aneirin showing me another one of their little sex scenes. This is so…oh…nevermind….this is the musical….wait, she was suppose to be out getting information….why is she in Spike's crypt? God, that year…how much did we hide from each other what we really thought and felt?_

"_Well, I've seen some damn funny things in the last two days. A 600 pound Chirago demon making like Yma Sumac, that one will stay with you. I remain immune, happy to say."_ _He holds up a bottle of whiskey_. _"Drink?" She looks at the bottle with something akin to horror._

"_A world of no." She sits down. "So any idea what's causing this?"_

"_Oh. So that's all." He sounds so disappointed. Like Buffy would want to spend time with him? I mean, I know they had sex. Hell, I was shown it but to want to spend time with him? She doesn't love him. She doesn't even like him. "You've just come to pump me for information."_

"_What else would I wanna pump you for?" She cringes. Oo, bad Buffy. No, pumping Spike. Damn you, Double Entrée god, got us all again. "I really just said that, didn't I?" Yes, yes you did._

"_Yeah, well ... don't wanna bore you with the small talk." Spike walks to the door, opens it and turns toward Buffy. "Don't know a thing." Why is he rushing her out of his crypt? If he loves her as much as he says he does then he should want to spend as much time as possible with her, right? I mean, if you love someone you should want to spend time with them, right?_

"_What's up? You're all bad moody."_

"_Nothing. Glad you could stop by." He makes a gesture toward the door. Buffy stays seated, looks at him. "It's nothing."_

"_What?" She was curious about what had him all antsy._

"I died so many years ago." _Spike looks surprised to hear himself singing. Buffy rolls her eyes._ _He throws his head to the ceiling in a aggrivated genture, the most extreme of his head tilts._ _So much for being immune_. "But you can make me feel like it isn't so" _He shakes his head and goes with it. He closes the door and faces Buffy_. "and why you come to be with me I think I finally know. Mmm, mmm. You're scared, ashamed of what you feel" _Buffy refuses to look at him_. "and you can't tell the ones you love, you know they couldn't deal." _Buffy frowns at what Spike is singing._ "Whisper in a dead man's ear it doesn't make it real." _He holds his finger to his temple and tilts his head into it. Buffy looks at him, then looks away. Spike rolls his eyes in annoyance._ "_That's great_ but I don't wanna play." _He walks over to the stone tomb, Buffy really doesn't know what to make of his song_. "Cause being with you touches me more than I can say but since I'm only dead to you" _He jumps up to sit on the coffin_. "I'm saying stay away" _Spike lies down on the coffin and crosses his arms over his chest. _"and let me rest in peace." He_ jumps up, making an arch of his body, and the song takes on an angry rock beat for the refrain_. "Let me rest in peace. Let me get some sleep." _He grabs the whiskey bottle and throws it against the wall, where it shatters. Buffy jumps up, startled and suddenly aware of what's going through Spike's head_. "Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep. I can lay my body down" _Spike advances on Buffy_. "but I can't find my sweet release." _He turns away from her with an angry gesture_. "So let me rest in peace!" _Buffy looks annoyed, turns toward the door, but Spike intercepts her._ "You know you've got a willing slave" _He goes to his knees_. "and you just love to play the thought that you might misbehave." _He looks down her body toward her groin but Buffy just rolls her eyes._ "But till you do I'm telling you," _He stands and continues singing_ "stop visiting my grave." _He sings angrily_ "and let me rest in peace." _Spike yanks the door open again._ _A group of men carry a coffin along. A few dozen yards away Spike and Buffy walking along side by side._ "I know I should go but I follow you like a man possessed. There's a traitor here beneath my breast" _He exchanges a look with Buffy_. "and it hurts me more than you've ever guessed." _He looks at Buffy._ "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest." _They stop walking and he_ _squares off against her_. "But I can see you're unimpressed."_ He gets angry._ "So leave me be"_Spike jumps up onto the coffin being carried by the men. _"and let me rest in peace let me get some sleep." _The pall-bearers tip the coffin and Spike tumbles off the end of it, bounces to his feet and shifts into game face_. "Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep." _He rampages through the mourners, tossing their folding-chairs aside, so angry that he's in love again. The people scatter before his anger. "_I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release..." _He grabs the priest, stares at him, knowing he can't kill him for too many different reasons. Buffy comes up behind Spike, grabs him and turns him around. He's back into his human guise._ _Spike and Buffy tumble backward into the open grave. Spike lands on his back with Buffy on top of him. _"Let me rest in peace. Why won't you let me rest in peace?" _They still lie in the grave with Buffy on top. She stares at Spike for a moment, then gets off him, leaps out of the grave and runs off. Spike pokes his head up out of the grave to watch her go. "So ... you're not staying then?" he says. So not so much a 'wittle' pop ballad or a book number. Somehow, that's just not fair. He sighs, watching her retreating back and moves to get out of the grave-_

The memory stops, like on pause, then a loud screeching sound fills my ears. I cringe and close my eye in pain. When I open my eye I'm back in my cage staring at Spike. "Spike?"

"Yeah, love. I'm right here."

"But huh? Wha-? Where's Aneirin?" Spike raises his eyebrows at me.

"Dust." He holds up a stake. "Caught her when she was all tranced out. You were too."

"Where are Angel and the others?"

"Oh, I didn't bring them. I sort of-went off on my own to be honest. Figured it all out and came and rescue-well, trying to do that right now, yeah?"

"Oh! Then do that!" Spike smirks and stood. His duster thumps against the bars as he walked around to the side that the chain went through. "Spike?" I scramble to face him.

"Shh, pet. I got you. Duck down, yeah?" I do as he says plus close my eye. There's a screeching sound. I start to look. "Head down, Xan. Wouldn't want to hit you in the eye with these metal bars, yeah? Only got the one."

"Bad joke, Spike." I still laugh.

"Yeah, and you still love me." With a last screeching slam I felt the bars against my back lift. I open my eye and look up. Spike casually tosses the mangled ball of metal across the room as easily as I would a ball of paper. I stand and then collapse, my legs too cramped to take my weight. Spike catches me. "I got you. Shhh." He pets my hair. "I got you. Let me get this collar off you. Shh. I got you."

"Spike." I bury my head into his shoulder and wrap my arms around him. He does the same. "God, thought I lost you, y'know? Aneirin…she showed me-"

"Showed you what, pet? Xan? What did she do?"

"She showed me your memories-I-Spike, they scared me…there's so much I don't know about you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Really not the time for this, pet." Spike pulls away. "Lets get away first. The others will be coming back. When we get home we'll deal but not here, alright?"

"Yeah, okay. Logic, you win again. Dammit." Spike laughs. There was something off about the way he crinkled his eyes. He smiles a little too wide or something.

"God, I missed you so much, Xan."

"Yeah, enough to sleep with Angel." Spike's grin disappears.

"Saw that, did you? Yeah, I did the nasty with him. Not too proud of it but you were gone and he's my sire…well, grandsire…you know? Sometimes things just happen." He shrugs it off.

"Spike, unchain me."

"Wot? Oh. Yeah." I let go of him to so he could reach the padlock. "Might just be easier to rip through the collar, you know?"

"Yeah, just get it off me." I saw the glint of gold in his eye. "Now, Spike."

"Shut it. Working here, Harris." He jerks on it a couple of times. "Dammit." He steps back. "Can't get it."

"Maybe if you found the key?"

"Might have been on Aneirin when I dusted her."

"That's impossible."

"Now, Xander. Just because-"

"No. I mean it's impossible because you're Aneirin. Spike would have just used his teeth. He's just that impatient." Spike stepped back away from me and became Aneirin.

"Or those cheekbones….you could cut yourself on them." She touchs her own cheeks as she steps out of range when I go to attack her. "Ah, ah, ah…behave yourself."

"Go fuck yourself, bitch." I growl. She sneers. Suddenly she's holding me by the throat.

* * *

**_Author After Notes_**: What? You thought it would be that easy? I snort in amusement at your gullibility. Love you. I have chapters 15-17 done but need to finish this one part of eighteen before I start editing and posting stuff. Ta!

Tropic


	15. Chapter 15

_**Bathing in Blood **_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

**_Author Note: _**I now have all the chapters written except for the epilogue. Unforunately, I'm also smack in the middle of finals. Annnnd seeing as Christmas is next week and I need to get the first chapter of _Promises_ up by then...you all luck out. I will be finishing this story today and tomorrow, write the epilogue and post my next story...all by Tuesday. Such as that is...this is my last author note for this story...the rest of the chapters headings will be minimized so I can output faster. Love you all, and I will talk to you in _Promises_.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

I check the address on the piece of paper in my hand. The apartment number was right so I take a breath and knock. It opens immediately. "You've been standing out here for the last ten minutes, honey bear. What do you want?" I swallow and take a breath.

"I need your help, Lorne." The green demon just looks at me, Seabreeze in his hand. I inhale again "And before you ask-this has nothing to do with Angel. I'm asking for a favor-a personal favor."

"See, that's how it starts, Sugar Plum. Favors turn into debts and down that road-" He smiles grimly. "Well, I already went down that road. Didn't like the scenery." He says, sipping at his drink and starts to shut the door. I slam a hand out to keep it from closing.

"All I'm asking for is information. I'll take care of the rest. All I really want is....to get back to Paris." That peaks his interest.

"What's in Paris?" Another unneeded and need breath on my part.

"Home." He makes a nodding motion with his head and opens his mouth in a silent 'ah'. "Thing is-I go back without him I'd-it's not home unless he's there, yeah?" My hand drops away from the door. Lorne looks at me then opens the door wider. I wait.

"You don't need to wait for an invitation."

"It's polite. You're a friend. I'll wait." He smiles, thankful for the common courtesy.

"Come in, Spike." I step into the apartment and shut the door behind me. As he leads me deeper into his home he takes a sip of the drink in his hand, again. I recognize it for what it is, fortification. "So care to elaborate?"

"His name's Xander Harris and he got kidnapped by the reawakened matriarch of the Aurelius clan who has been mind fucking me from a distance just to keep me from hunting him down. So I came to you. Only one who can see past that stuff, yeah? At least, most of the time." Lorne gestures for me to sit on his couch which I do resting my elbows on my knees and folding my hands. I lean forward. He sits in a red leather La-Z-Boy which makes me think of the Grinch for some odd reason. "I knew him back in Sunnydale and we hated each other. We met up again when Angel sent me to Paris for the Grimmoire, which Aneirin also stole, and we fell in love. The power of the City of Lights, I guess. We've been together ever since. I love him, Lorne." I look up at the demon realizing I had started to stare at the floor. I don't know, it was easier then looking into those intent red eyes. "I need to find him. Please-"

"Sing." Wha-?

"Sorry?"

"Sing. I have to hear you sing to read you better."

"Oh." What to sing? Well there was this one song..."_Hope I meet you on a good day when I'm feeling all myself. Don't be startled if I run away especially if you smile and really ring my bell. Hope you take it in a good way when I show myself to you. I wouldn't worry about it anyway. I have soft skin and scars are nothing new. Please, no promises, don't wanna hear the words. Nothing you can say that I haven't already heard."_

"_So," Xander shifts to get more comfortable. I snuggle into his shoulder. "French version of _Die Harder _or French version of _Superbad_. Either way we lose." I laugh._

"_What does it matter? The girls are gone for the night and we're going to end up shagging halfway through anyway." He grins._

"Superbad_ it is." _

"_NO!" I lunge for the remote and end up across his lap as a result but get the remote which was partly my goal. I turn it to _Die Harder. _"I will not make-out with you while you're giggling at horrible sex jokes." He slaps my ass. I toss him a lewd look over my shoulder and grind into him. "Harder!!" He pushes me off of the couch and his lap. "Ow." I glare from the floor. I crawl back into his lap and get comfy blocking his view of the television. _

"_HEY!" He tackles me to the sofa and tickles me._

"_HO NO!" I fight back and we both end up on the floor with me on top. He rolls and wedges me between him and the sofa, completely immobilized. But I don't really care...for some inexplicable reason. "Bugger." I drop my head back to look at the ceiling. Over a hundred years of fighting and super strength and I'm still bested by a clever use of leverage. Life just isn't fair. He laughs at my reaction to being beaten and kisses my neck._

"_Complainin' or offerin', Spike?" I leer at him._

"_Little of both actually." He smiles and we kiss, with tongues, hands and bodies completely engaged, eyes closed…hmm not even three minutes into the bad movie and we're making out. That's a personal record. He lets go of my hands and I wrap them around his neck while his hands sneak up under my shirt, sliding up my back and chest. "Remember, I don't have breasts." I tease. He pulls back and gives me an affronted look that clearly tells me that I have weird thought processes. Which, to be fair, I do. Sometimes. So does he._

"_I've always been an ass and leg man, myself." He slides both of his hands down my jeans and grabs handfuls of flesh, rolling on top of me completely. I let him._

"_Well, lucky you that I got those." He laughs and I smile. This must be what heaven feels like. No worries...just love and bliss while ignoring bad Bruce Willis movies dubbed in French._

"_I love you, Spike." He says and drops a kiss on my collarbone. I run my fingers through his hair and smile._

"_Love you too, Xander. Always." I make eye contact. I want him to know I mean it._

"_Spike?" I smile and kiss him. We made love that night with bad action movie sounds in the background and jokes and laughs about individual anatomy parts in the foreground but it was beautiful and true and I _miss_ that moment._

"_When we made ourselves that quiet place and the world was just us two...I hope that you won't run away. We can stay there and make us something new. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." _I finish singing and look at Lorne who had become my last hope to find my lover. He was crying, honest to God crying. I inhale deeply. "Do you know where he is?" Please don't say 'dead'. Please don't say 'dead'. Please don't say 'dead'.

"Spike-"

"Please don't say he's dead." I blurt out. Dammit. He smiles kindly.

"He's not dead." I exhale and drop my head. "But he's close." My head snaps up. "He's on Sunset Boulevard." He laughs a little. "_Sunset Boulevard, twisting boulevard. Secretive and rich, a little scary. Sunset Boulevard, tempting boulevard. Waiting there to swallow the unwary. Sunset Boulevard, ruthless boulevard. Destination for the stony-hearted. Sunset Boulevard, lethal boulevard. Everyone's forgotten how they started. Here on Sunset Boulevard...!" _I raise an eyebrow at him. You'd think I'd be use to him bursting out into song randomly but I guess not.

"Very nice." He smiles.

"Thanks." He preens then turns serious. "Here" He leans over and writes something on a piece of paper sitting on the coffee table between us. "This is the address." I reach for it but he pulls it back. "Couple of things you gotta promise me before I give this to you-"

"I'll leave you to your life, I promise." He smiles.

"Thanks but no. Actually I kinda wanna meet this adored of yours. To cause that much emotion in you? Holy Judy Garland, he has to be someone special." He smiles at me.

"He is. I'll make sure you and he meet after this is over."

"Some day. There's no hurry. In fact, I think that you need to work-out some issues the pair of you got before you come bringing him to meet the godfather."

"Godfather?"

"Nothing." He smiles quickly. "Just something to think about if you ever decided to slow down and have kids." I grin and raise my eyebrow.

"Green, Xander and I aren't exactly ideal parent material." Which is true...I'm a vampire and Xander's....Xander.

"Neither was my mom" He shoots back sardonically but then shrugs "but we can't pick and chose that sort of thing. And that's neither here nor there, sweetness. You two are bigger then Brad and Angelina at least to some people. Work through it, be patient, he'll come through. You can trust him with that stuff." That's a weird thing to say. The Empath picks up on the fact I don't understand. Figures. "Just trust me. He'll pull through." Is he implying that Xander's seemingly damaged beyond recovery? Oh God, I have to rescue him. I lunge the distance between us and grab the scrap of paper. "You're welcome." he smiles grimly. "Go." I race out of there.

* * *

_No Promises_ Lyrics by James Marsters off of "Civilized Man"

Hope I meet you on a good day  
When I'm feeling all myself  
Don't be startled if I runaway  
Especially if you smile and really ring my bell

Hope you take it in a good way  
when I show myself to you  
I wouldn't worry about it anyway  
I have soft skin and scars are nothing new

Please, no promises, don't wanna hear the words  
Nothing you can say that I haven't already heard  
Please, no promises, let's just pass the time  
Come and sit with me and give me your eyes

We can find ourselves a quiet room  
And let our hands run free  
You can tickle underneath my arm  
All the way down to behind my bended knee

Please, no promises, don't wanna hear the words  
Nothing you can say that I haven't already heard  
Please, no promises, let's just pass the time  
Come and sit with me and give me your eyes

When we made ourselves that quiet place  
And the world was just us two  
I hope that you won't runaway  
We can stay there  
And make us something new.  
Yeah. Yeaah. Yeah.

Sunset Boulvard Lyrics from "Sunset Boulvard" the Musical

Sure I came out here to make my name  
Wanted my pool, my dose of fame  
Wanted my parking space at Warner's  
But after a year, a one room hell  
A murphy bed, a rancid smell  
Wallpaper peeling at the corners

Sunset Boulevard, twisting boulevard  
Secretive and rich, a little scary  
Sunset Boulevard, tempting boulevard  
Waiting there to swallow the unwary

Dreams are not enough to win a war  
Out here they're always keeping score  
Beneath the tan the battle rages  
Smile a rented smile, fill someone's glass  
Kiss someone's wife, kiss someone's ass  
We do whatever pays the wages

Sunset Boulevard, headline boulevard  
Getting here is only the beginning  
Sunset Boulevard, jackpot boulevard  
Once you've won you have to go on winning

You think I've sold out?  
Dead right I've sold out!  
I just keep waiting for the right offer  
Comfortable quarters, regular rations  
24-hour Five Star room service  
And if I'm honest, I like the lady  
I can't help being touched by her folly  
I'm treading water, taking the money  
Watching her sunset... Well, I'm a writer!

L.A.'s changed a lot over the years  
Since those brave gold rush pioneers  
Came in their creaky covered wagons  
Far as they could go end of the line  
Their dreams were yours, their dreams were mine  
But in those dreams were hidden dragons

Sunset Boulevard, frenzied boulevard  
Swamped with every kind of false emotion  
Sunset Boulevard, brutal boulevard  
Just like you, we'll wind up in the ocean

She was sinking fast, I threw a rope  
Now I have suits and she has hope  
It seemed an elegant solution  
One day this must end, it isn't real  
Still I'll enjoy a hearty meal  
Before tomorrrow's execution

Sunset Boulevard, ruthless boulevard  
Destination for the stony-hearted  
Sunset Boulevard, lethal boulevard  
Everyone's forgotten how they started  
Here on Sunset Boulevard...!

Tropicwhale


	16. Chapter 16

_**Bathing in Blood **_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

"_What's this?" She hands him the camera we found in the gnome. Spike holds the camera up to look at it as Buffy stands confronting him. _

"_It's a camera." she states the obvious._

"_Yeah, I got that part. Why am I holding it?" Confusion. What more does she want?_

"_Someone was using it to spy on me. On my house." Spike frowns. "Xander thinks it's you."_

"_Oh, the great Xander thinks so! Shudder gasp! It must be true!"_

"_Spike-" she tries to stop him but he's angry that she believes that he could hurt her._

"_That ponce has always had it for me. Every chance he gets, he sticks it-" it was true. I did. I hated him and everything he stood for…including his_ wrong _love for Buffy. He was just obeying his nature, I was stooping to it. He was perceived a threat so I attacked him. When did it change? When did my hatred turn to something else? Paris, god, what happened in Paris?....….we fell in love. We fell in love and Spike...didn't try for more. He just takes what I give him and doesn't ask for more. Spike gave up every chance to get back with Buffy, and there were plenty of moments he could have, and he just took care of me in a black moment in my life. He showed me....nothing he hasn't done before. Excluding our relationship Spike really didn't have any...what's it called? Character development...Me, I became gay. I started not just tolerating Spike but loving him but why? He's still the same guy from these memories where Buffy...oh god, he let me use him the way Buffy used him, the way Angel and Drusilla used him. I was hurt and he let me lean on him without trying for anything else, not Buffy, or freedom, or blood. He was right. I used him as an emotional crutch when Renee and Emma died. And Spike-he just let me use him. God, what kind of jerk am I? At least Angelus was upfront about it, I was-I say I love him and he just lets me walk all over him? Where's the fair in that? Spike pauses, looking at Buffy. "You believe him, don't you? You think I was spying on you." He's outraged. How could she think so low of him that he'd resort to spying on her with a camera? Buffy doesn't answer. "You think I could do that?"_

"_Because you don't lie or cheat or steal or manipulate..." She throws his nature at him. His nature is that of a vampire…and to care for those he loves. Throwing it at him, throwing any part of what he is and cannot help was….cruel. Buffy-we all were cruel to him. Spike gives her back the camera. After everything he's done she should know better. Know _him_ better._

"_I don't hurt you." He says quietly. The truth in his words. How can she think that he'd hurt her on purpose? He walks a few steps away. Oh yeah. Because I sic-ed her on him for the camera. Because I-_God_._

"_I know." No, she doesn't._

"_No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it." One last try to get her to understand what he's feeling. Begging for validation from the woman he loves. "Something happened to me. The way I feel ... about you ... it's different. And no matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't, it's real." Understand, Buffy. Please. Demons can love. Spike can love. He needs-_

"_I think it is." A beat. He looks at her. Too much to hope for. "For you." She turns to walk away. Spike looks hurt. Buffy pauses by the door, turns back. "I know that's not what you want to hear. I'm sorry. I really am. But, Spike, you have to move on. You have to get over-" Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Pain. Hurt. Don't break him, Buffy. He's past taking it. Over the limit. Can't you see that? Or do you see and-any more and nononononono. Won't hear it. Can't hear it. Rip his heart out and stomp on it. Shove a stake through his heart. Chomp off his head. Torture. Pain. DON'T TELL HIM TO GET OVER YOU!!!_

"_Get out." he says softly. She never did get it. Buffy looks grim, turns, and leaves. The second he can't hear her anymore he breaks down and cries. Sobs, breaks down from the pain in his heart. His faces shifts from demon to human and back again with no stopping. He crumples, lays on the floor and cries, holding his head, holding his stomach like he's going to be sick-scrutching into a fetal position and falling to his side, sobbing loudly like there was no end to the pain. I wanted to rush over to him and hold him...tell him that it's going to be okay. Tell him not to cry over her. He grabs at the ground and crawls over to the stone tomb, breathing so heavily it's like he's suffocating until he dry heaves. But Spike's a vampire. He doesn't need to breathe or vomit so he doesn't. He looks at the side of the sarcophagus and, very deliberately, touches it with both hands and bashes his head against it. The physical pain gives him something to focus on, something to drag him out of this abyss the Slayer's thrown him into. God, Buffy, did you know what you did to him? "Didn't even need a sword." He whispers and I know what he means. She ripped out his heart with her words and didn't even try. Spike takes one last deep breath. He stands and wipes away the tears, fixes his hair, makes sure there nothing to show he was just in hysterics. He pulls himself together and goes to the tunnels. He doesn't want to risk running into Buffy in the cemetery so goes to the tunnels to get out of his crypt. Far away that he doesn't have to-he just wants the pain to stop._

"I really don't know what else I could do with you." She readjusts her hold on me so she's holding my collar and throws me so I hit the wall. OW!

"Running out of ideas?" I ask, channeling my lover as much as I could. "Got nothing left?" If Spike can keep going through that pain I can do a little thing like physical hurt and forthright mind torture. She picks up her foot and places the stiletto heel of her shoe onto my chest.

"Not even." Suddenly the door bursts open and a minion pants in the doorway. "Stop panting. You _don't_ need to breath." The minion gulps and straightens but stops breathing.

"Mistress, we found it." Aneirin's head snaps to look at him, her foot still on my chest. Her eyes narrow.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Drusilla said so."

"Wonderful! We are out of this town and its muggy heat." She turns back to face me so too does the minion. "Oh don't worry, Xander. I haven't forgotten you." She turns to the minion and he grins like he's about to get a treat. "Don't grin at me. I'm not giving him to _you_. Bring me the ones that found my little toy." The minion bows and leaves. She turns back and smiles. "Pandora." she says staring into my eyes. Pandora appears, salivating, crouching on all fours.

"Food?"

"Perhaps." the older vampiress says. Pandora looks at her. "When the others are done playing." Pandora grins and licks her lips.

"Food." She bounces forward a little. "Soon." She sniffs the air. Others walk into the room. Edward, Isabella, Chelsea, Addie and Armand walk into the room. Armand isn't wearing anything at all and very excited. Edward smiles.

"It's a party." he says.

"It's a gift." Pandora hisses. Isabella drops to all fours and stalks closer to me like a lizard, licking her lips. Edward soon follows her movements, dropping to all fours but going to Aneirin to rub against her body. Addie and Chelsea split and circle me coming around back. I'm trapped. Aneirin smiles.

"Yes, Xander. I want your fear for your fear runs like a current through your body making it moist and delicious for my childer. Be afraid Xander. It suits you." Channel Spike, channel Spike, channel Spike. I lash out and kick Isabella into Pandora behind her. Edward snarls and jerks my chain until my body is at an awkward angle. Aneirin looks past me as the two females run their hands over my torso. "Follow us when you're finished with him." Armand grins and rubs his dick. Ew and also AAAAAH!!!! "Don't stick him too hard, Armand." Aneirin says as she leaves, patting the naked vampire on the shoulder. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." She leaves and Armand stalks toward me, licking his lips.

"I can have first dibs right?" He asks in a husky voice. "Cuz it sucks having to play sloppy seconds." Edward scoffs.

"I have no desire to have him. Not when I have my lovely twin." He grins, and jerks my chain, at Isabella who grins back.

"I wanna at least ride him a little, Armand. So don't wear him out so quickly." Addie says.

"Well why don't we just leash him?" Isabella asks. "A cockring should make him thick enough for long enough." She leans over and kisses Edward over top of me. Eeeew.

"Fine, but I want first crack at him." Armand says and climbs up onto my thighs. Addie and Chelsea grab my arms as I start to fight back and Edward tightens my chain until I'm flat on my back, my legs and arms bent under me. He leans into sniff me and turns to dust before my eyes. I turn away at the last second to avoid getting any in my eye or mouth. Suddenly there are sounds of all the vampires around me start getting dusted. I open my eye to see Pandora crumbling before my eyes. I'm suddenly more or less free.

"Spike!" God, I hope its Spike and not another mind fuck. I sit up to look at my rescuer and freeze.

"Not quite, my love."

* * *

Tropic


	17. Chapter 17

_**Bathing in Blood**_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

I rush back to the apartment, pulling out my cell to call Angel and tell him to get Illyria and Gunn back there. When he questions me about why I say "I found where he's being held, suit up." I get back and Gunn and Illyria are already holding weapons. I hand Angel the address. "It's on Sunset Boulevard. Let's go!" I start to rush off again. He grabs my arm.

"Spike, slow down. Let's think about what we're getting into." I turn on him, pulling away from his grip on my arm.

"No!" I was in Game Face and snapping at him. I inhale and let my demon visage slip away. "No. We're wasting time. My contact said that he was close to death. We need to find him." Angel looks at me confused.

"Whose your contact?"

"That doesn't matter right now, Angel." I ground out. "All that matters is rescuing Xander."

"Spike, there's more to it than that."

"NO THERE ISN'T!!!"

"There's the Grimmoire. Remember? Destruction of all things magical? Aneirin's dangerous. She probably has over half the Family with her and some very dangerous artifacts at her disposal. We need to get the book back too and figure out a way to take her out. Neither of us are strong enough to do that Spike. Not by a long shot." I look at him.

"Illyria could do it." See? I'm not completely gone. I walk over to the weapons truck and take out a wicked looking battle ax whose handle was sharpened into a stake. It kind of looked like Buffy's scythe but less shiny and could easily be wielded one handed. "And you can worry about that bloody book. If you hadn't lost it in the first place Xander wouldn't be in danger." I look over at him, dead serious. "My only concern is Xander."

"What about defenses?" Gunn asks. "Sunset, man. A pad like that got to have mad security, magical and mundane."

"Illyria can punch through anything that has wards on it. I've seen her destroy stuff like that." Angel answers.

"It is true. There are no defenses of this world I have not overcome. As weakened as I am." I point at her and look at Gunn.

"See?" I ask and look away to stuff a stake or two into my left boot. It makes it too tight so I switch one of the stakes for a knife.

"Spi-"

"Not now, Angel. I'm busy. Some things are just more important." I stand and look at him.

_In the science lab at Wolfram and Hart Angel, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred wait for the machine that would make me corporeal again to do its magic. Fred glances at her scanner, it beeps. "He's here." They still can't see me so she yells out to the room "Spike, step into the circle! Hurry! We've only got one chance at making you corporeal agai-" __Fred's sentence is cut off when she starts choking. She puts her hands to her throat. Pavayne, the unseen Reaper of Wolfram and Hart, is grasping her throat with his hand. _

"_Why ever would I want to do that?" He says._

"_Fred!" Wesley shouts like it'll do anything._

"_It's Pavayne!" Gunn shouts too. Morons. Of course it is!! Like I'd do that? I like Fred._

"_He's killing her." Angel says. I can see that! The three__ charge toward Fred to try and help her, but Pavayne knocks them all across the room. The monster turns toward me._

"_Decisions. The girl... heh... or the flesh. There's no time for both." I__ stare at the machine's ring which is ramping up, clearly almost ready to do it's magic, then I looks at Fred across the __room. Pavayne grins "__There's hope for you yet, boy." Not really. I disappear and reappear besides Fred._

"_Not really." I __knocks Pavayne into the machine's ring just as it activates. Pavayne is now corporeal. Angel gets to his feet and walks up to the machine's ring, while Gunn and Wesley go to Fred's side. Pavayne stands, looking at his body and growls_

"_No. No! Defilers! I'll...cut you into nothing! I'll feast on your brains. I'll swim in lakes of your own blood." Angel punches the bastard, knocking him down. _

"_You'll shut the hell up." I reappear, the will broken that held me invisible._

"_Don't kill him. If he becomes a spirit again, we'll never stop him." I say._

"_Fine. No killing. Just a whole lot of bruisin'." He punches Pavayne again. Good._

He walks up to me and bends to grab a broadsword. Finally, he gets it. "Alright. What are we waiting for? Let's go."

* * *

Tropic


	18. Chapter 18

_**Bathing in Blood**_

**_By:_** Tropicwhale

_**Disclaimer/Warning:**_ Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Drusilla?!" Heh, say what now? True enough Drusilla walks into the room and puts her crossbow down on the dresser.

"Hello, kitten." I blink. Not really processing events right now. Well in doubt...so, let's recap…I'm with Spike, Spike brings me to L.A to help Angel stop the Big Bad that turns out to be the Matriarch of the entire Aurelius clan including Spike's sire, Drusilla. Aneirin, seeing me, decides she wants to study me like I'm an anomaly (which, technically I am), and then proceeds to strip and torture me in a lot of really mind-bending ways. She grows bored, gets ready to leave town and sics a bunch of her Childer on me to finish me off. Drusilla shows up and dusts said Childer….the last bit-nope, still doesn't make sense. "Promise not to kill me?"

"Huh?" I focus on Dru. She's within my leash range holding a key. "Dru? What are you doing?" She bends over to put her hands on her knees and smiles at me like I'm a child. Which, really, I guess I am compared to her. Hell, even Giles is a child compared to her.

"Rescuing you, of course." Okay. That makes sense…except the part where it doesn't. "Don't bolt…all sorts of Family members waiting outside to rip you to ribbons." She unlocks the padlock and removes my collar. I was…free?

"Okay." I say in a daze. She smiles and turns away to the dresser. I'm still waiting for her to make sense…I'm thinking it might be a bit. She smiles at me and walks over to the dresser while I just sit there like a lump rubbing my bruised neck. She turns back with clothes in her hands. She hands them to me. "Thanks." The shirt was blue. I laugh, well chuckle softly, my throat's a little sore.

"All the little horsemen went galloping off before the sunrise-" She makes her hand go upwards on a slant "whoosh, didn't think to stop and check the score." I blink at her.

"Why are you helping me?" She smiles mysteriously. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

"I'm not Great-grandmother if that's what you're thinking, Alex."

"My name's Xander." Seriously, 'Xander' is not that hard to remember, people. X-A-N-D-E-R. Xander. She nods sagely.

"Of course it is. But memories are strong like slayers." She bites the air. "Hurts too deep to be understood." She waits for my response.

"Okay?" She smiles.

"Get dressed. You are not Adam." She starts humping the air. "Not enough bits and bobs floating around" she clutches her head still undulating "like the nasty little shocker that held back my boy." She looks at me. "He is my boy, you know, all grown up and moved away from mummy." I nod slowly. "Makes me your mother-in-law." She laughs "I actually am a monster." She shakes her head. "Not like Spike. Make no mistake I'll eat you up if you hurt him and leave your bones for the giants."

"Okay? I have no doubt you'd eat me." She laughs again.

"You're such a good kitten. I should have made you when I had the chance. Give Spike a baby brother that could protect him from himself but you didn't want to play, all caught in magical sway."

"Yeah, well…you're kind of evil. And I kinda hate most vampires." She giggles.

"Yes I am. But I know what is suppose to happen better than most…the stars and night sky whisper it to me when I sleep." she makes a 'psss' 'psss' sound and tilts her head like she's listening to her hand. "All caught up I am. Story books are all written in black ink and ones and zeroes. Knows what's what. Mummy always knows what needs to happen. Shhh. It'll be alright."

"I suppose." I shake out the clothes for something to do and stop. "Dru? These pants are leather. I don't wear leather."

"It's a present. For Spike."

"Huh?" She laughs.

"You'll see." That's a little worrying. "Do you need to use the bathroom." Huh-who-wha? Oh, wait. . . I can understand that.

"Yes, please." She holds up a hand. She looks like she's listening to something.

"Alright, now we can go." She all but picks me up (okay, stronger then she looks, should have known that) and helps me out of the room and to the bathroom without incident. And by 'incident' I mean vampires that want to either fuck me or eat me or both. So I'm definitely of the grateful and relieved. Drusilla helps me to the sink and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. I'm even more grateful. I use the toilet for the first time in what seems like days and wash my hands and face. I open the door to see Drusilla standing there. She smiles and hands me the clothes again. I dress…no underwear….that's probably what she meant by 'present for Spike', no underwear. She smiles and helps me down the stairs where I collapse. Not using your muscles for days and not getting any food or water then using said muscles…hurts.

"Ah, wait. Pain." She grins and gives me a water bottle. "Oh, thanks." I look at the water bottle…it looks save… so I gulp it down.

"Slow. You won't do any good gulping it." I slow down. She sits next to me and hums.

"Why are you rescuing me?" She rocks and ignores me. "Dru?" Her head snaps to look at me.

"You don't know?" I shake my head. She grins. "Because I saw you while in London, all floating around William's head like burning baby fish. You had your hooks in him even then."

"Heh-who-wha?" She giggles. Drusilla is sometimes hard to talk to....I can't believe I said 'sometimes'.

"You talk funny." I blink at her…because really that is the only reaction I could give. What do you say to a crazy chick when she tells you that you talk funny after she makes a comment about how you're a baby fish on fire?

"Yeah, I've been told." I think about what she said...burning baby fish floating around his head....ooooh. "So, what? You saw me with Spike when you turned him?" She nods.

"It's why I turned him. You're going to do things together, effulgent things. All in white and burning flames." She writhes in her seat, in rapture. "Ooo, it's going to be dark and chaos then all wrapped in the sunlight of a golden dawn." She cocks her head to look at me. "True love in all its glory. It's why I played with that little girl in the streets of Prague...needed to get Spike to Sunnydale…" she pauses to pout. "Then it all went wrong and he fell for the Slayer and you weren't done baking yet…it was all very disconcerting." she confides, clearly upset. "You were suppose to love him but you hated him. Grandmother screwed up my plans by turning your friend. I was very cross." She sweeps one pointer finger over the other in a 'naughty, naughty' gesture and pouts.

"Why try to get us to fall in love? You're evil-shouldn't you be against all that? True love and stuff?" She giggles and rocks back and forth. That's not an answer….huh "Do you love Spike? Or rather…did you?"

"I was lonely." She stands. "Ready to go, my kitten love?"

"Uh, yes but I still can't feel my legs." She smiles and sits down. "I'm sorry but I still don't understand." She cocks her head to the side.

"No, you don't. Great-great-grandmother still floats around you all shimmering…here" She touch my temple. I flinch away. "Shh, shh, kitten, won't hurt…not like grandmummy made it hurt." She touches me again and suddenly I'm somewhere else, _a cemetery. I look around and see Drusilla. She smiles at me and hums "My memories, kitten. See?" I look around and up. The stars all move around and there are a lot of shooting stars, the trees all sway and flex their branches like great arms and all around there's a music, a hum to everything…even the tombstones. _

"It's beautiful, Dru." I say because it was_. She smiles._

"_This way." She leads me through the headstones to one specific one, one with Spike kneeling in front of it. At first I thought it was Buffy's, the summer she was dead but I get closer and see that it's Joyce's. _

"_Go away, Dru." He says, and transforms into a fully equipped knight, armor and all, still kneeling, music vibrating off of him in waves, sad and sweet. The music of a hurting heart._

"_Came to pay my respects, Sir Lancelot." Dru kneels next to him and crosses herself "The lady was lovely for all not just the Slayer." She crosses the tombstone. Spike smiles at her._

"_That she was." There is a white rose at his feet in front of the tombstone. "Even Angelus liked her. Hard not too. Joyce was an amazing woman."_

"_A lady in the truest sense. Queen Gwynevere never understood." Dru confides. Spike looks at her and Buffy suddenly there. She looked weird, all glowing gold and angry looking. She stares down at Spike in contempt. Drusilla hisses at her. "Never understood true beauty and strength, not yours anyway. Never wants too. Wants the world the way it is, so her purpose isn't lost. And all the while Kitten is waiting in the wings. But shhh, not until after intermission...somewhere in act three."_

"_Dru? What are you talking about?" She smiles at him and laughs evilly._

"_It's all coming together but what you feel is wrong, William." Spike sighs and looks back at the grave._

"_I know but I can't help it. I don't want to love her." Drusilla frowns._

"_Poor lost baby, lost soul crying out to its other half that won't answer....No Alexander for William to conquer."_

"_Drusilla, I asked you a long time ago not to bring up Alexander. You know that. Besides, I don't have a soul…everyone says so." Drusilla pats his head. Suddenly I see myself, glowing blue and kneeling next to Spike, patting his head the way Drusilla is. "Wonder where she is? Joyce, I mean. I hope its someplace nice with a lot of art. Joyce always did like things of beauty. Wonder if her and my mum have met? It would be nice…the pair of them having someone to talk to, someone to take care of and care for them for all eternity. God, Dru, I miss you." He looks at his sire, this side of crying. She's still stroking his hair as the glow-y version of me is doing. "Things were easier when we were together…now, I got this chip, love my mortal enemy, have to take crap from the likes of Xander Harris, and I don't know which way to go anymore." He looks at her and the knight dissipates into the little boy from Spike's memories, William super-imposed over Spike, himself. "Why can't I just fall back in love with you? It'd be easy…so easy." Joyce appears and Spike morphs back into Spike, bleached hair and leather trench coat, still vibrating that music...but it's distorted. "I don't know where I fit anymore, Dru. I don't fit with you...can't go back...won't ever fit in with Buffy's world...too dark for it....wish I could....wish I could....I don't know. Wish I fit. Joyce always made me feel like I fit. It was nice."_

"_Poor little lost lamb. What would you say to her? She could hear you, what would you say to the dead?" Spike looks startled. His mother appears, and his father, and Alexander. Buffy sits on her mother's headstone and laughs evilly._

_"Poor Spike." she says. "Doesn't fit no matter what he does." The other me just crouches next to him, petting his head, looking sad because he's sad. Dru looks at the other version of me and hums then shoots a dirty look at fake-Buffy. Spike, unaware of these interactions, looks back at the grave and sighs._

"_I'd tell her that I'd watch out for them, all of them, even Xander and Anya....because that's what Buffy would want." Ghost Joyce smiles so does Spike's mother. "Joyce...she'd want to know whether or not I mean it…what I feel for her daughter…I do love her. I love Buffy Summers. I'd lay down my existence at her request if she ever thought to ask." Spike, the knight, is back and alternate me stops petting him. "I'd ask her to take care of my family, up in heaven and let them take care of her because she deserves the best." Ghost Anne hooks arms with Ghost Joyce and Alexander runs over to them. "I promise to keep Dawn away from Glory, I promise to protect her daughters no matter what. They need protection, even from each other and themselves. I promise to you, Joyce, that I'll love them the way they deserve, the way you loved them because that's…it's the right thing to do." Spike looks at Dru in wonderment. Dru smiles back at him knowingly. Spike in his duster emerges from the knight and the armor crashes to the ground around him. "I want to do the right thing because it's the right thing, Dru." He says in wonderment. "I love Buffy, I want to prove I'm worthy of her, want to prove I'm right for her…so I'm doing the right thing because it's the right thing. Since when do I have a moral compass?" Drusilla laughs hysterically. It's a little scary._

"_You always had one, Spike…a dashing stranger tearing at his own words in an alley-way, a vampire who believes in destiny, a villain affronted by Daddy's soul, a Champion of love and light truly. You always were different…like me."_

"_But I don't have a soul…so I'm evil…I have to be." Drusilla smiles and shakes her head._

"_Silly Jack, did Jill tumble you too hard on the hill? The crown is broken but still there." Spike raises an eyebrow at her._

"_Dru, I ever tell you that talking to you is a barrel of laughs and confusion with a side of 'huh'?" He pauses and the glow-y me grins. "Dammit! That boy got into my vocabulary!" I laugh when Spike hits his head on Joyce's tombstone with a dull and light 'THUMP'. Everyone smiles except for phantom Buffy, who rolls her eyes and sneers...is that how the bad guys see Buffy? As a callous bitch? "Either way, Dru, you should go. you shouldn't caught here by the Slayer or the others and the making you dust." She smiles._

"_Miles away they are. Soon all hell will try breaking loose and you'll have to be ready." She lays another white rose on top of Spike's, crosses herself and stands. "Miss Edith will be worried. She's still quite fond of you."_

"_Well, we mustn't worry Miss Edith." Drusilla shakes her head solemnly. Spike laughs and stands as well. All the phantoms crowding them disappear. Spike kisses her gently on the cheek. "I wish I still loved you, Dru, I really do." She smiles again and rolls her head on her shoulders._

"_You'll love again. Your destiny stands in the sunlight." She looks at me and the memory dissipates._ "Come on, my kitten-in-law, let's get you home." She helps me stand and takes me back to Spike.

* * *

Tropic


	19. Chapter 19

_**Bathing in Blood**_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

Angel, Gunn, Illyria and I drive over to West Hollywood suited up to the nines. Angel pulls the Mustang into the driveway of the house that Lorne said that they were at and puts it in park. I could feel the pulse of the magic imbued in the ironworks of the gate. We get out of the car and Illyria walks up to the gate. She punches it in ignoring the sparks of magic that leap about her. She cocks her head. "The defenses are weaker than expected." Angel steps up and hefts his broadsword for a better grip.

"That doesn't mean anything. Stay on your guard. Remember get in, get Xander and the book, get out." He looks at me. "Don't go seeking revenge." I glance at him.

"If I have the chance to kill that bitch, Angel...I will." I step forward. Time to get my beloved back. The smashed in gate flickers a bright blue light as I pass and goes dark.

_Xander and Anya walking out of the Summers' house the night Buffy came back. Xander hears something, looks off to his left. "Who's that? Spike?" I'm leaning against a tree, my back to them. When I heard his voice I wipe my eyes. Afterall, Big Bads aren't suppose to cry even when they're overwhelmed with happiness, relief, fear, anger, hurt. I'm not suppose to have this many emotions at once. I'm suppose to have the emotion range of a teaspoon. Xander and Anya come closer. "What are you doing out here? I hope you're not going to start your little obsession now that she's around again." I grab Xander and spin him around, slamming him up against the tree and holding him there. Don't wanna hurt…just wanna make him listen. There's no buzz from the chip._

"_Hey!" Anya's in the background but Harris is the one I want to make listen._

"_You didn't tell me. You brought her back and you didn't tell me." Is it an accusation when its just facts?_

"_Well, now you know." He Doesn't Get It!!!_

"_I worked beside you all summer." Xander takes pity on the poor distraught vampire._

"_We didn't tell you. It was just ... we didn't, okay?" That's not-what I wanted. I wanted an explanation, an apology. SOMETHING to say that he understood._

"_Listen. I've figured it out." I let go of him but don't move away. I just glare at him because he's an idiot that doesn't get it! "Maybe you haven't, but I have." I'm aware that I'm still crying. I don't care. I points toward the house. "Willow knew there was a chance that she'd come back wrong. So wrong that you'd have ... that she would have to get rid of what came back. And I wouldn't let her. If any part of that was Buffy, I wouldn't let her. And that's why she shut me out."_

"_What are you talking about? Willow wouldn't do that."_

"_Oh. Is that right?" When in doubt, use sarcasm._

"_Look. You're just covering. Don't tell me you're not happy." I scoff. "Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence." I give him a "you just don't get it" scowl, turn and walk to my newly acquired motorcycle. "That's the thing about magic. There's always consequences." I climb on and start it up. "Always!" I ride off into the night._

We get into the building, the mansion, itself with no problem but its quiet. Not even the scurrying of a mouse. We break off into teams; Angel and I, Illyria and Gunn. The two others take the downstairs while Angel and I slowly mount the stairs to the upstairs. We go from room to room; bedroom, bedroom, completely empty room, bathroom, bedroom. In the last bedroom I'm overwhelmed with Xander's scent. It had been a little over a week since I had smelt him and it seemed as if he was everywhere at once. Angel and I search the room. There no sign of life anywhere. We obvious got the right address…so where was my lover? "Spike? Angel?" Gunn's voice called out. Angel left the room and distantly I could hear the others talking but my attention was elsewhere. Attached to a wall was a chain with a dog collar attached at the end and there was a mangled cage on the other side of the room. I start breathing. Angel touches my back and I jerk away from him, my hand tightening reflexively on the ax in my hand.

"He isn't here." I say. "He was but now he's not." He should be there.

"I know. Gunn says that the entire house is empty. They cleared out." I round on him.

"Why would they do that?"

"Knew we were coming? I don't know. I'm-I'm sorry, Spike. I know you want to save him."

_I pace back and forth restlessly in the lower level of my crypt. Buffy's back from the dead. How many times have I wished those I love to come back from the- I turn around and punch the wall. It hurts and, what with the wall being stone, I think I broke my hand. I look at it. Yup, definitely broken. I laugh a little too high and quickly as I stare at the bloodied hand. It's just like Buffy's hands, all broken knuckles and-so I laugh, a little hysterically. Definitely broken but I still react to pain with humor except now it's my pain. Always my pain. There's noise from upstairs. What manner of beastie-?! And me all with a broken hand, not a good night. I pick up a dagger and remove it from its sheath as I go to the ladder and climb up. I emerge, move slowly and quietly into the crypt, holding the dagger by his side. There's Buffy, looking at some magazines that are spread out on an end table. Dawn had brought them over the summer when she couldn't take being in the house anymore....they were a combination of Interior Design (a not so subtle hint about my housekeeping skills), Bubble-gum Pop tween-zines whose names I could care less about, Rolling Stone, and Playboy (I honestly don't know how the bit got a hold of the last). But, Buffy was in my crypt, alive. She turns around and looks at me. Her expression is basically blank. I'm just so grateful she's alive. "You should be careful. Never know what kind of villain's got a knife at your back." I show her the knife I had._

"_Your hand is hurt."_

"_Hmm." That it is. I nod toward her hands. "Same with you." She looks down at her hands._

"_Right." She slips them behind her back. There goes that line of conversation. Buffy just stands there. _I'm_ not sure what to do. What do you say to someone who comes back from the dead? 'How are you? How've you been? How was your summer? Mine was good, fought alongside your friends that didn't tell me that they were going to bring you back but, you know, why would they tell me?' I walk over to the wall and put the knife down on the ledge. No real point in holding onto it, yeah? Besides the splitting migraine it give me to use it, why would I want to hurt her?_

"_Willow's getting pretty strong, isn't she? Bringing you back. It's hard to get a good night's death around here." I try a little laugh but get no response. "You can sit down. Got furniture." Buffy sits on a chair, awkwardly. I keep trying for something like normal. "You should see the downstairs, too, it's quite posh." She looks at me, doesn't say anything. I walk over, sigh, and sit on the edge of a table across from her. She just stares at me. There is something I could say."Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her." My own little confession, no platitudes, no false sense of 'it'll be okay'...just truth. Because, really, how many folks get to tell the people they lost what they really felt about them after the person was buried and gone? "If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump." It's my fault, Buffy. I failed you. She still doesn't react, just sits there looking at me. "But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... Every night I save you."_

I pretty much shut down. Angel and I wait outside while Illyria and Gunn check the rest of the premises. The pair of us-we don't say anything. Angel sort of lets me have my space as I stare at the monstrosity of the house. Lorne said-"Hey" I get started out of my thoughts. Angel's talking to Gunn.

"Hey." The black man says back. "Nothing."

"Alright. Let's go." I get off my seat on the hood of the car and get into the front seat. The others get in and we drive home. No tries to say anything the entire ride and that suits my mood just fine. We get home and I hang back. Where could he be? Angel lets us into the apartment and we file in. I shut the door behind me being the last one in. They all stop in the hallway and block my way to the living room and the stash of whiskey hidden in the bottom shelf of the bookcase there. I get frustrated. Not really having much patience to start with and I'm sort of at the end of my rope what with everything that's happened. I want my boyfriend back...he's missing still and I just need to get drunk to the point of being crossed-eyed right now.

"Move!" I growl. Even Illyria jumps out of my way. I move forward, glaring at the ground. I don't want to meet their eyes. Then, I'm hit and overwhelmed by an achingly familiar scent. I look up, startled. "Xander?"

* * *

Tropic


	20. Chapter 20

_**Bathing in Blood **_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

"Xander?" He says, frozen in the doorway to the living room, framed by Angelus-no, souled-Angel, Illyria, and Gunn.

"Hey Spike." Drusilla had driven us to a McDonalds on our way to Angel and made sure I ate something and got my strength back. I know what you're thinking. Drusilla driving me to a McDonalds and actually paying for food…it was a little-okay, okay-a lot surreal. But it happened so by the time we got to Angel's place I was able to stand on my own. Spike looks good, in his trench with black pants and t-shirt, he looks like he always did because, hey, vampire. Next thing I know he's standing in front of me, touching my face.

"Thought I lost you forever, mate."

"I'm not your mate." I say back, my voice dead. Spike starts to smile at the old joke between us but stops, looking into my eye. We weren't mates…not according to vampire law, not by human. We weren't mates.

"Xan?"

"Uh, I think we should-" Gunn says softly.

"Be somewhere else?" Angel finishes.

"Yeah."

"Why should we leave? Is this not a good thing? The human male is alive and more or less intact-" Illyria interrupts.

"Let's leave the lovers to it then." Angel says and leads his group out. When the front door shuts I sit down in a stuffed chair, suddenly weak. Spike was kneeling at my feet in an instant.

"Xander?" I look at him. "God, your face is so beaten up." I wouldn't know. I've kinda been avoiding the mirrors. He touches my knee and I don't move away but I must have given some signal because Spike, being percept-o guy, moves his hand away. "Do you need anything?" I smile at him.

"No, Will-Spike, no. I'm-I'm fine."

"Bull." I smile at him. He would say that.

"I'm tired. I've been through a lot." Spike nods and lifts the corner of his mouth like he understands but is unsure he should smile at the joke. He bites his lip and then lets it go almost immediately. "Don't know how to react, don't you? My patch is gone and I probably look like hell, I'm weak-let me finish, Spike." Spike had opened his mouth to deny that I was weak but I stop him. "Aneirin showed me things. She showed me your memories. I saw that you were a ghost and-" I pause, how to explain what I-? "nice poetry." Spike winces. "I gotta ask…did you have to kill the cat?" There's this moment of confusion flitting across his face but it was gone in a moment.

"Well yeah. I was trying to be terrifying and it was rubbing against my legs, purring and being all cute…back then that was enough of a reason to kill it. I was evil, remember?"

"But you weren't really. I mean, you were just trying to get back at Cecily and everyone who was messing with you when you were alive." Spike furrowed his brow at me. "Let's just say I got a bit of your perspective on stuff."

"Like what?" Spike was edging away but not really. He was still but had the look of a man ready to run. He was afraid of my reaction.

"You. Me. History." I look at him. He looks so sad and worried...God, I hate that reaction. "You were trying to hide a lot of stuff from me. I saw Alexander and your father leaving and you turning your mother and Drusilla and Angelus and Buffy and….me. I was worse than Angelus, wasn't I? At least Angelus was your sire, was evil, I was food that was too uppity…Riley too. We forced how far you had fallen in your face every time we opened our mouths. You were weakened and we mocked that. That was hell for you…torture." Spike looks at me with a blank face. He didn't know what way to react. Oh my God. Spike was an open book to me. He had no secrets left to hide and that made him vulnerable. He knew it. Every fraction of an inch that he moved screamed it as clearly as he had told me. I knew Spike. I stare at him with this new knowledge, this horrible fascination like a kid with a magnifying glass over an ant hill, until he looks away. He thought I was going to dump him. He thought I was going to break up with him because of his weaknesses as William, for his violent nature as William the Bloody, for his desperation as Spike, for everything that he was and is and could be. He thought that I couldn't love him for that. He thought he couldn't be loved for himself. But really all I saw was this terrified creature who I have grown to love upset because of me and wanting to take care of me and I couldn't let him…not yet. "Tell me the truth, Spike." He inhales and looks at me with a determined expression.

"Yeah…you were worse than Angelus back in the day. I-I hide all of that stuff because-"

"You were afraid I couldn't handle it and would run screaming." I interrupt and finish. He nods.

"Yeah." He nods a bit more decisively "Yeah, I was-am actually." He smiles and it's William's smile. Open and-I kiss him just to show him that I wasn't running. He kisses back and I feel every bit of relief that he feels at the kiss, how he throws all himself into it. I pull back.

"God, Spike." I lay my face against his, ignoring the pain from whatever bruises I have, and breathe in.

"I missed you." He whispers. "I'm so sorry I brought you. I-"

"Shh, it's alright. I still love you. I'm back…I'm sane…I'm more or less unharmed." I kiss him again.

"How? When we got there it was empty." His hands are on my face and neck, petting, holding, making sure I was real, checking for hidden hurts…I really didn't care as long as he was real.

"Drusilla rescued me at the last minute."

"Drusilla?" He whispers. "Why?"

"Something about how I was your destiny and stuff" I pull back and look at him. "She's really weird. I had some confusing conversations with her."

"Destiny, huh? Yeah, that's Dru for you." We were back to closing our eyes and touching our faces with each other.

"And she went on about how she was my mother-in-law."

"Now there's a scary thought." I laugh. It really was.

"She said if I hurt you then she would rip out my entrails and wear them as a dress." He laughs.

"She would too. There was this once with this guy in Hungary-"

"I know. He was the son of a vampire hunter who bet that he could best you in a one-on-one fight. You left the hollowed out corpse on his father's doorstep." Bile rose in my throat at the thought.

"Yeah. Have nightmares about him."

"And the girl you and Angelus-?"

"Her too. Soul remember? Conscious and guilt-ridden is part of the deal."

"You don't show it."

"Don't like too."

"No, you wouldn't." I feel a breath of cool air hit my face as he exhales. "Did you know her name?"

"Who? The girl Angelus and I-"

"No. Sorry, jumped tracks-the woman who took your virginity." Spike sighs.

"No. She was just the Countess and it wasn't just her-"

"Her husband came back in the early morning and had sex with you too. I know. At least you didn't die a virgin, barely though." He huffs in self-deprecating amusement.

"Aneirin really did show you everything, then?"

"Yeah, think so." I can feel Spike's tears when they start. "Spike, why are you crying?"

"Because-I just am." I kiss his wet cheek. "Xan, I-" He clutches me and sobs.

"Slept with Angel when Aneirin was torturing me?"

"Yeah. Xan, you have to realize that I didn't mean to. It-It just happened and I'm pretty sure that Aneirin was messing with me somehow because the only thing on my mind was you and how to get you back and I couldn't sleep and it just happened and afterwards when I realize I freaked and-" he sobs. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to and it won't happen again. I-I rather cut it off before I-I'm so sorry." I'm running my fingers through his hair which is completely free of gel and thick and curly.

"Shh, I know. I know. Calm down. I'm not going to leave you over this. Shh, calm down, Spike-William. Calm down." I pull him into my lap and he wraps his arms around my shoulders and head and sobs. I wrap my arms around him and realize the extent to what Aneirin did. She was really trying to wreak our relationship. She attempted to sow distrust and fear and hatred in a place where there was love and-I thought I knew him. Someone, out of pure spite, showed me everything that I didn't know or understand or want to know and understand about the man, no, vampire I love in the hopes of destroying us. She showed me Spike. "Spike. Spike. Look at me." He does, still crying but getting himself under control and I saw, maybe for the first time, how much control Spike really had over himself and how much of that control was hard won with blood, tears, and pain. "I see you." He froze. I chose my words very deliberately. Cecily's words, Buffy's words, words of pain and deep, soul deep, hurt. "I see you more clearly than I've ever seen anything at all. That's the problem. I love you. You've gone through things that it took days and nights of torture sessions for me to even comprehend but I still don't understand. I need you and I need time. I need to come to grips with what I now know of you. I need to because you deserve better than me. I'm beneath you, Spike, and I want to be better. I want to be better for you because you deserve that. I want you to tell me your past and your reasons and about yourself, yourself. I don't want this knowledge, this insight of you to be because of Aneirin's spite. I want it to come from you and freely. I want to stay with you until I can see you and fully accept who you are. Because that's what you deserve, Spike, you deserve to be accepted. You deserve to be loved for who you are." Spike looks at me very seriously.

"There's a catch, isn't there?" He says, his voice dead. He's pulling back because he doesn't trust my words. He can't trust words that aren't words of pain because sometimes pain is the only thing that is real. Hope is too much to ask for. I nod slowly. It's true...there's a catch.

"I think…it would be best if-for now…we stopped having sex."

"What?" I stroke an impossible cheekbone of a very confused vampire, and hold onto him tight when he tries to pull away.

"We-we'll both try to hide from this problem if we have sex and I don't want our relationship to be completely physical. You had that with Buffy. I had that with Anya and it really didn't work out for either of us. I want it-this to work, Spike. I really do. I want our relationship to work. Please?"

"Can we go back to Paris?" The little boy is covered with amusement. I nod. "Okay. Yeah, sure." He's serious and sincere. "No sex. We did it before…can we still sleep together?"

"Yeah, couldn't really fall asleep without you there now anyway." I say with some humor. He looks down.

"Yeah. Know how that is." He looks up at me. "I really do love you."

"I love you too, Spike." I hope we make it.

_An oval painting on the wall is lit with moonlight streaming into the small chapel. It is a medieval painting of Mary holding baby Jesus and standing in front of a fringed white drape. Buffy walks through the front door. The chapel is set up with a dozen wooden pews arranged on either side of a central aisle. There is a large, simple, gothic crucifix at the front of the chapel that can be seen by looking directly down the central aisle. Buffy looks around. There are three stained glass arched windows on each sidewall of the chapel. She walks forward and jumps when Spike speaks to her from the shadows behind her. Still not comfortable with being anywhere near him.__"H__ello." he says. Simple. The one thing about Spike is that he's never simple._

"_What the hell are you-?" __Spike is bare-chested, holding his blue shirt out to her._

"_It didn't work. Costume. Didn't help. Couldn't hide."_

"_No more mind games, Spike." __Spike is looking down at the ground even though he is standing right in front of her. A sign of submission._

"_No more mind games. No more mind." __Buffy reaches for his chest, where the scars from the trials to get his spark are healing._

"_Tell me what happened to you." __Spike flinches, recoils violently, and looks her into her eyes. Touching meant pain. Her pain…his pain…no touching._

"_Hey, hey, hey! No touching. Am I flesh? Am I flesh to you? Feed on flesh. My flesh. Nothing else. Not a spark." Not something to love. He nods. That's all he was to her. Flesh to be consumed. Nothing worth loving. "Oh, fine. Flesh then. Solid through." He starts unzipping his pants. "Get it hard; service the girl." This is something he understands. All she wants him to understand. He's just flesh. Give her what she wants…maybe not needs…or deserves…but what she wants. A service to the one he loves. __Buffy is disgusted, a little afraid from the last time, and smacks his hands away from his pants._

"_Stop it!" __Spike reflexively reaches up and grabs her by the throat. Violence allows for violence. The trials taught him that. Neck meant food....right? Buffy grabs his shoulder and throws him across the room. Spike lands on top of some pews, breaking them into pieces. He sits up a little, propped on his elbows behind him._

"_Right." He's thrown because she doesn't want it and isn't food. "Girl doesn't want to be serviced. Because there's no spark. Ain't we in a soddin' engine?" __Spike's looking around the room. If they were in an engine then the spark would mean he fit. He had a place and was needed. Buffy walks over to him._

"_Spike, have you completely lost your mind?"_

"_Well, yes. Where've you been all night?" He's suddenly lucid. When in doubt, use sarcasm. Some things that he was are still there._

"_You thought you would just come back here and... be with me?" The nerve of Spike…to think that after what he did-tried to do…he could just show up and-_

"_First time for everything." A joke. A poor attempt at his usual bluster. She won't take it._

"_This is all you get. I'm listening. Tell me what happened." Because she's that generous. After this she'll stake him. There is nothing left she could use him for. He's become too much of a loose cannon for her to deal with and she doesn't want to any more._

"_I tried to find it, of course." Matter of fact. This explains everything of course. Hey, Drusilla was right. Matter of fact statements explain everything._

"_Find what?"_

"_The spark. The missing... the piece that fit. That would make me fit. Because you didn't want..." Spike starts to cry. "God, I can't... Not with you looking." __Spike stands and walks away to a nearby window. He stands there, mostly in shadow, his body directed away from her. He looks back over his shoulder at her.__ "I dreamed of killing you." __Keeping an eye on him, Buffy bends down to pick up a large splinter from the broken pews at her feet to use as a stake, if necessary. Spike starts pacing. "__I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak? Thinking of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending? Angel—he should've warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting but it's here, in me, all the time." He walks around and toward her from behind. "The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn." __Buffy's face shows shock, disbelief and, finally, dawning comprehension. She understands._

"_Your soul." Spike laughs._

"_Bit worse for lack of use." __Buffy turns to face him._

"_You got your soul back. How?" The how is not important._

"_It's what you wanted, right?" He asks her. He looks to the ceiling, to God or anything that would listen to ravings of the damned. "It's what you wanted, right?" He shouts. He presses his fingers to his temples, looks down, and walks toward the altar. "And—and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did...everyone I— and him... and it... the other, the thing beneath-beneath you. It's here too. Everybody. They all just tell me go... go..." he looks back over his shoulder to Buffy. "to hell."_

"_Why? Why would you do that?" she asks. She doesn't understand. Thought she did and she doesn't. Huh, should have known._

"_Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev-" he looks away "to be a kind of man." __Spike walks toward the 6-foot-tall crucifix altarpiece at the front of the chapel. Sounds like he's quoting something. __"__She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved." That's all he ever wanted. To be loved. __Spike's standing only a foot away from the crucifix, staring at it.__**"**__So everything's OK, right?" he sighs. __Spike embraces the crucifix, resting one arm over each side of the cross bar, and resting his head in the corner of the vertex. His body is sizzling and smoke is rising from where it touches the cross. __**"**__Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?" __Buffy's crying, from where she stands Spike's exhausted body hanging limply on the cross resembles Jesus, except the view is of Spike's back. "Can we rest?"_

* * *

**The End**

Epilogue to come…


	21. epilogue

_**Bathing in Blood**_

_**By: **_Tropicwhale

**_Disclaimer/Warning:_** Xander and Spike are not mine but I am torturing them and putting them in a homosexual relationship with each other, make no mistake. I'm not making money off it but if you don't like it you can hit the back button.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Willow snuggles into Kennedy as they watched the soap opera. "Are you sure I can't get you anything?" Kennedy turns and looks at her red-headed girlfriend, her head scarf brushing Willow's cheek as she moves.

"No. I just want you. And bad Spanish _feuilleton mélo_."

"You know, since we're in Brazil, it's bad Portuguese _óperas de sabão._" Kennedy grins.

"I know. I just love tricking you into speaking Portuguese. Multi-lingual chicks are so sexy." They kiss.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Now why are you trying to butter me up?" Kennedy shrugs.

"Can a girl give her boo a compliment without it being some sort of manipulation?" Kennedy was watching the television a little too closely.

"A girl can…but you're no girl. You're a woman. Tell me or I'll be forced to tickle you." Kennedy laughs.

"Alright, alright. I'll tell." She inhales. "You know, when we were in New York and I was in the hospital?"

"Kind of hard to miss, Ken." Willow says somberly. "I was sort of terrified." Kennedy nods understandingly.

"So was I. I know I didn't play it but…I was. It got me thinking. I kinda wanna settle down." Willow watches the television confused.

"What do you mean? We are settled."

"I mean I want a family…with you. I want to be a mother but-"

"Because of the hysterectomy you can't." Willow finishes. Kennedy nods.

"I'm a slayer…I don't want that to be all that I am. I want to have a kid of my own....something I can leave behind and-am I making any sense?"

"Yeah."

"Can you-? I mean I know it's a lot to ask and I don't know if-please? Will?" Willow smiles and adjusts so that she's looking at her lover.

"We've been together for what? Six years? Yeah, I'll carry your child. Wow, me as a mom…scary thought."

"Yeah…but it'll be cool. It'll all work out."

"We should totally ask Xander to be the dad. That way my childhood dreams will be complete!" Willow jokes.

"Okay. Let's call him up. He can come over for Christmas." Willow looks at her, surprised. "I mean it. We can have an old fashion Christmas…mostly. Besides, I'd rather know who the daddy of my baby is. It's better than some sperm bank…or Andrew." Willow laughs and stands, stretching.

"I would so not bear Andrew's children not even for you. Okay. I'll go call him up."

* * *

**End**


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